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WBEN NewsRadio 930>Audio & Video on Demand>>6-4 Beach and Company Hour 3

6-4 Beach and Company Hour 3

Jun 4, 2014|

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

-- backward vision governor AA and the Pope entertain fifteen couples who have been married for some time and he says that. Well basically what he says he -- married couples -- dogs and cats are no substitute for children. And marriages without children and -- would the bitterness and loneliness. He says three qualities that are important Christian marriages. Faithfulness oppressive -- and and throw off fullness. -- now he says he does not like marriages that -- -- by choice and such marriages end in solitude according to Vatican radio. Some of the text he said the culture of well being from ten years ago convinced us. It's better not to have children it's better you can go explore the world go on holiday -- you know Villa in the countryside. You can be care free it might be better more comfortable they have a dog to a cat in the love the goals of the two cats and a dog. Is this true or is it not have you seen it. Then in the end of his marriage come -- -- comes with -- old age solitude with bitterness of loneliness is it is not -- it does not do what Jesus does with his church. He makes his church fruitful. So what he said that pressure is on when you get married. Probably your mother and your mother in law when -- kids going to make -- grand parents and now the Pope. My suggestion is that is a very serious decision. As to what you gonna have children I think you have the self examined to see if you're required -- qualified. To really be able to deal with children and -- children is one thing to go to your sister's house and play with those kids -- -- kids. -- for a few minutes here and there it's another through two of the existence of being a father or mother some better qualified than others. But I think that when you're ready that should be your choice and nobody else's industry on 9301806. On 69236. 930. Let's go to Larry in buffalo area on WB again. You know the one common thread with not having kids is everybody -- the going to be healthy forever. And you know when you have kids. You know I can't help in the down times you know when you get all the people who have no kids I don't know what it gonna take a terrible that they're gonna be a burden to society. -- tie up social workers and nurses and hospitals and everything because nobody's going to be around. The problem well the other I have some friends here in error but there's nobody like family or are -- your children help -- negated jam. Well I understand that however in today's society lots of times is not like it was before work. Our entire families would live on a couple of blocks apart now may be are you need some help from your kids and -- in California whatever. Yeah it's nice to have buddies that I have family there when you need him but that shouldn't be the primary reason why you have children. Feel -- society is falling apart because. Everybody's been on my own individual. And I don't need anybody. And you don't have that is -- walk in connection. And the family. You know it. It's just. Everybody for themselves at this point you know why should I spent a quarter million dollars and raising a kid. When it really doesn't matter China's having a problem right now is remembered only had a one kid -- they're finding out they're not having any kids for the next. They just. The job there there are lifting at that I -- for that well first of all in an ideal situation. You should want children because you wanna bring a child into your family not that they can would be a labor force later when your bill. And our labor force -- assistance force you know there have been forced to do anything because they are. But you know you got that in the bank your mind if you -- you get older wealthy come down with cancer. You know my wife is gonna have a helper here to get her get her through this. -- whether it's a phone call from California or whatever. You know it's still some can help even with emails in today's society you know you can have the Skype going back and forth because they are good somebody helping my wife out you know my guess I'm -- and then of cancer hospital. I know she's not going to be alone. Well I. It's now what you're saying I I you know that may be a reason but I certainly wouldn't finger will be the predominant. No predominant reason I have to tell you that you know but. You know it's what it's like anything else -- -- predominant reason for any thing one thing in life but it all comes together that the one factor. The other factor as well in my neighbor doesn't have any kids I got to pay for their direct them. Help when they need it you know why should I have to pay because they had no kids. It what kind of help you mean because you'd go over and help them. OK okay well it's a point that I will ponder thank you thank you very much. Now the assumption made is that. When you do get old. That -- your children will be there to help you out but there's a lot of things that a -- don't happens sometimes. If your children have their own families. And say you're here and there in California. Maybe you're one of them can come over here for awhile but they got to get back to their own families. Or maybe they have their own health issues or or job issues and all of the money come here plus don't assume that it's the wall tons. OK don't don't make that assumption. That you're going to be here. To help out your mother and father because that is an hour goes a lot of times. I'll tell you a story that I heard on the Radio One time that made me wanna -- Okay. Grandmother was in -- a nursing home. And somebody's care places are fabulous but they're expensive they are expensive. Okay a guy and his sister and his brother. We're going to visit the grandmother. Now so far wearing a Norman Rockwell territory right you Reggie how good to see that the grandchildren. On nice it was really a pick me up. For grandma. But their discussion on the way and this was uttered publicly. Their discussion on the way. Was how disgusting was that grandma. With a high cost of her health care cost of keeping her alive. Was eating up there inheritance. When I heard that. Luckily I was driving a nice car would have thrown up in -- For the ball's not their money is grandma's money in -- -- -- also -- in the ocean grandma should be able to throw it in the ocean. So let's not think like 0010 in the Bieber at this sort of thing this is the real world. So why you're lying on your deathbed the your -- are counting how many days until your croak. So that they can -- again the inheritance on the -- Schneider mentioned much -- that sort of thing. So don't count on effective because you have children and your children have children that anybody's gonna look after you. The bottom line is you may have to look after yourself and society might have to help. That's the way it is if you have a good strong family and you were raised right it's one for all all 41. We were taught in our family that if one of us has something. We all have something. Got that that's the way it works there's no ifs ands or buts about it and so that's strong but not everybody thinks like. So you know you get into -- La La land thinking how nice it would be. That when you need help it's there you can't always count will be back after Davis. -- love then the matter. Who. Our news. Well like rove Morris and Harriet. Is high yeah there. Have -- without the. The Pope or came out and said that he that he met with fifteen people have been married for some time he said animals are no substitute for kids and I don't think anybody would disagree with that that's that that's agreeable. But basically went further. And he is putting the pressure on people get married to have children. And he says that's one of the obligations of marriage or three obligations of marriage and that's one of them. And as he chastised as those who. Are married without children. And questions whether they can be happy for their lives or at the end of -- going to be lonely and -- Some asking can you be happily married without kids I think you can. And EU could easily have pets and children but that all of this stuff should be your call as a family. And the is the American family weaker. The Pope and his address our knowledge that some couples face fertility issues and urged those doubles remain faithful. Frances also told the faithful with a double wants to destroy the family which he described as the domestic church. Bishops from worldwide will meet -- -- October and discuss problems affecting families. In his remarks on Monday the Pope also told married couples that they must remain faithful and their unions and should preserve. In good president barrels are in good times and embeds and so both best logical and has this -- -- Bible. But I'm thinking all the pressure -- young married couple happens or married couple but especially a young married couple. So does that marry -- grandma on each side when you gonna give -- children and now the Pope saying when he gonna give children as well. And the worst thing I think you can do is Russian to a without preparation. And as a lot of preparation goes your life will be totally different. Let's go to Kathy in Cheektowaga Kathy you're on W -- -- well hello. I've been waiting for globe. And then now does the Pope know about anything. By the Catholic Church. This. Mike Green and does them in the area and on June but later in June 10 and then accurate it would have children okay. And -- they. Take -- of that church that we don't have children Sistani used to which you want to do. They have no idea how to raise children. Well I don't think they would remove your from the church they can encourage you to have children but I think that's going to be an individual decision based on a lot of things. Such as you're mature level for one thing. You're have you been around children more than just a visit. Have you had children overnight. Do you have the right temperament and attitude do you have the kind of a job that you're going to be fairly secure for a time so that. Your children your child can have roots and not have to go from schools schools -- school. India can you work out a schedule where. Where if they if both parents have to work the babies always taken care of the you have support people around you. That those are all questions that are important to answer before you would decide to have children. And then I know I'm going to bet that people didn't have to do being -- to go right. Well I think -- and don't -- it was -- on -- Well I well I think what happens is. The family who was closer and less traveled right now I do expect if you expect. You are -- kids and your cousins and your rent your uncle to live within a couple of blocks like they used to. That's not gonna happen now they're all over the country. That is very true yeah and I can have children and -- -- -- OK and you're so happy with their yes you know she was a typical blotter there -- good times and lots of good times -- right now. But it confuses me because. Whenever the Catholic Church but then now I'm I'm Catholic too -- limited but then I have this feeling that what. What do they know honestly don't know enough about it. Well -- you know they're doing and I'm theory because not a member merit except to Christ and so and so it's it's a little different. When when your did not in that circle. It's easy to see things I deal with strictly. But I think a good person sees things realistically. And makes decisions on that thank you. It's just the way it is my wife and I when we got married we knew ahead of time we had a plan. The plan was dead -- would work for five years she graduated from college on a Saturday. The following Saturday. We got married. We were going out for four years old college where additional a couple of years younger -- which are my -- time because I was exonerated school. We decided that we would work for five years Scioscia gets started in her career as teacher. And I would get go further along in my career as an air personality all right. At the end of five years we decide to have the jobless -- and it worked so well. We did what we had to do on preparations. And and the timing was good and we didn't feel rushed into it end as I said. I think the decision can't be anybody's but yours as the arts. Did you 01 gentlemen yes sometimes you're the best he plans don't always work well that's true that's true however. However just -- -- no. -- planner. I really am a planner OK I thought -- guys who were. It was that one after ball -- let me say the ink in my ink well was in the game while until. The fifth year. Okay so the -- was not was not to it was not used extra extra honestly. When it came time to write a letter. I wrote the letter -- flow ink well. Okay that's the way ago -- it as opposed to a ball a ballpoint pen and yeah we have little if any version. As I just -- Just the whole attitude about sexual activity within the church. The church I'm gonna paraphrase here because I'm sure they have fancier words. The -- church doesn't look at sexual activity as recreation. They did and as procreation. But the thing is here's my suggestion. Has there ever been a major leaguer at the plate they hit a home run every time Maria the big were up the answer is Null. -- the answer is totally know. And I think that you're more welcoming to a new member of your family if its planned out if it's not a out. As opposed to oh guess what the rabbit died. I mean it doesn't doesn't work out that way very often give read the text of the crystal. -- I don't analyze this is jumped the the thing that I notice though and it's true I guess in all councils is well mom. On each side mom of this of the boy mom of the girl. Once the -- a grandparent. Am kind of pushes them forward toward that goal. And now they got the Pope on their side -- now also pushing forward. Do when your ordinary. We've never nobody put any pressure on us whatsoever. As to when we were going to have -- or how many we're going to have data and have like a playpen dangling from a fish fishing right outside your bedroom window and no October surprise came and deservedly dead and you know that was a baby boom -- was. All I just -- the call to -- guy. There's a bright flowers remind our Greg will be back remarked. I'm not a he showed -- at cherry picker. -- -- it was great tonight but it Arabia. You're hearing the voice of Barcelona WB -- that call us now an 8030930. Cell calls are free and start -- -- their toll free line is 1806169236. -- backward vision coming up said he enjoyed talking about what they poll has to say dead. Animals -- cats and dogs primarily are not substitutes for children. And marriages without children and with the bitterness of loneliness. Well I I don't necessarily agree -- -- idea I believe that pets and children do and can and and will continue to coexist. And it's not a matter of I can have a dog or a baby. Right -- had a baby. Most people will combine both of them. And the ones that decide to have vote pads that don't have children made a decision not to have children nothing do with the pats. For some reason maybe they didn't think that they would be a good parent. I'll order to have the time to devote. Well maybe their job required them to travel way too much or over -- weather could be a lot of reasons but the key is it's there reasons. And their reasons should be honored and respected. I would rather have somebody say we're not ready. Emotionally financially. A psychologically to have children and then not have them and somebody's just do it because you're supposed to do it in the and a -- being in the buffalo on those four. Because some some terrible thing they did dementia. All right Chris a couple of a FaceBook post please. This is for Madonna she says I like the -- but I really disagree with him here are some people just don't want kids may -- feel like you wouldn't be good parent or maybe you don't have the budget for. Well that's true and that's that's a refreshing point of view. The kids are expensive they are totally expensive and if you do not have of the -- the money available to raise them. I mean there's a lot of our government programs and whatever that are available to help you. But if you're having a child why would you hand the responsibility of raising the child to the government. You wanna do it yourself now sometimes people need a little help here and there that's fine. But if you know that you are not going to be able to do it at all and basically the government's gonna raise your child what kind of joy is there a -- Probably not much and then maybe maybe. You start looking at the system and you say oh Tiago won but you know here's what I get if I get to his or get a -- get three in their popping them out. And Tony was in a hospital room when he heard a woman. Tell her mother. What that it was right after her. Ninth the bisons mama I promise this is the last one you know -- -- that I promise this is the last ones though. She's popping -- -- like jelly beans at a carnival. And it was so what does that mean what does that say about the sanctity of life what does that say about parenthood. It says she did it because she could do it now zip. And she's obviously. Furcal. And and that was the end of it so all of these nice warm -- here and -- pictures that are going on your mind always work another one please. This is from Bobbie she set on the fifty year old woman who's now married has no kids I'm extremely happy with my decision. People and actually told me that I don't know the meaning of responsibility because they don't have kids but that's crazy I don't know -- have a great career. That's our people are teller that there's a you know there's a phrase for it. Misery loves company. OK if the people -- teller that I guarantee you. They go through hell from time to time -- their kids and it's almost like they're jealous that you don't have to. And I don't know what it was they hear that but that's what it is let's go to John in -- Wanda -- on WB -- They say at that a couple of hours ago a guy got me a little tired up about. You know burden. When. When I need to sit and when I'm older and I have note it I'd like it was accurate and everything I -- and the bill. You know it is it that doesn't make any outstanding. You don't have to raise your own nurses and doctors there are people would do several having -- But you know I -- school taxes I don't know it. You know words it's a little compared -- an -- -- I don't as -- my reimbursement. That's a good point and that's always been a bona contention. The person who lives next to you that has ten kids. And an identical house. Pays though one blow one tax bill you're paying the same tax bill you have no kids that doesn't seem fair. Yet it step by a parent parent or nineteenth. And they say only we make about the vision that we never could I not having any kids. Yeah some people are very happy like that and because others don't see that bad off them. They think it's -- something strange. There is a great pride in raising children properly but it doesn't mean the people who choose not to. Are considered lesser people they're doing it for their own reasons and their own reasons a valid. And I I think it changed quite a bit since with bush when I grew up and 48. Compare that now -- For about 1015 years before haven't hit just to have kids to keep up with the joneses. Yet to be our country there -- a lot of large families because the kids had to work the farms and that we got suddenly in big kids were replaced by John Deere tractor. And see less of that now. But there's there's always people. Who are urged others to have children. If you love children and you don't have any you can always volunteer at Children's Hospital he can be around children's charities. -- you can be a Big Brother there's all kinds of programs that will allow you to show your love for children even if you don't think you could have -- yourself. I'm with you on this John thank you. I think the Pope is them not on the -- not on the money -- this one they Keisel off -- senator with the with the target on this simply because. It should be something you want as opposed to something. That you've been directed to do. And if it is it's going to be more of a blessing to you you're going to really enjoy it because you know you did. Which you were supposed to do to get ready for this moment. And when the moment arrives as a lot to do analog to think about. And you know are gonna go -- asleep and you're gonna be grouchy at times you may be a little short with the each other because of that. But the baby is though is a wonderful addition under those circumstances. If you -- it because you're lectured to do it. Or failure in laws kind of I don't know chided -- into doing it is always going to be even if you enjoy the experience of having a job there's always going to be a certain resentment in the back of your mind. And I know to anybody that doesn't have children the usual answer is well what are you waiting for you gonna get another big screen TV gonna get a a a trip to Hawaii before you decide well the bottom line is. If you wait a little bit and you're doing some of the things you've dreamed about doing in your life you'll never hold that against the kid when the kid -- born. How many people have had children immediately and said. You know it was my lifelong dream to fill in the blank and now I can't. And and okay you can and you're not going to be able to do and you don't really hold it against the child. But it's in your mind that I -- -- a little bit and then -- that that's one of the reasons -- waited so long before I got married had kids the value you you've visited the site at all. Before the kids arrive because -- actually have been sold out absolutely. Priorities. No people in your mind doesn't always tell you where things are file I mean you go a computer you can find files okay. But weighed down in the recesses of your mind. If you do if you had a dream to do something. And you didn't do it because the baby arrived unexpectedly. Before. -- your plans were completed. You'll love the baby just as much -- love you. But it will be in the back to your mind that because of the debuted didn't get to do some things in your life. And and your disappointment. Don't don't put the baby at that disadvantage. Get those things done and while -- life it's all part of the puzzle. Whether your early what your on time where the lake is still came to the party will be back after this. You love then the matter is. -- I drove cars and she had a then you know -- Have -- without the. CBS news poll the American family hasn't gotten weaker. As. Associates from April 16 through twentieth that's when this poll was taken. As the American family gotten weaker most Americans seem to think so according -- CBS news. Poll 64%. Think the American family now is weaker than it was when they were child 13%. Say the American family is stronger. 19%. Don't think there's been much difference. Now compared -- and you're child. The -- cuts across all age groups majorities of Americans of all ages think the American family is now weaker interestingly. The age group that feels most strongly. Is between the ages of 55 and 64 the so called baby boomers. And its associated with a rejection every definition -- one traditional family value. Of 78% of Americans between 55 and 64. Think the family is weaker than they were children's higher percentage in any of the group and so what you're saying as part of it is Adam. Inevitable. Because we don't stay in the same neighborhood like it used to be like. You would live next to your grandmother's house and your sister would live above you and on the next warrior that was their. There was always a lot of social help there. With children and and and it was a bond. Now people have to move for jobs and you don't you don't generally live and grow up in one area only. So if it did weaken it by that nature -- by the fact it's not they're sure we have communications and that we can go on facetime and and in Skype and stuff like that happens not the same. And so -- that has made it weaker and the government has made the family weaker in restricting how you can raise your child. A you know you pattern your child on the bottom and in 1955 no problem we've had a child bottomed out you might have a problem I mean that's just the way it works. Soviet government in many cases especially on a restrictive governments like New York State have kind of changed the way everything yeah everything works. I think you can also say that the government is hurt by. How it deals with our handouts to people to make -- so easy to have as many kids as you want. And still have economic freedom. You know if Saddam it's gonna sound convoluted. The best thing to motivate you. To be successful. Is your fear of failing. Okay without that fear. Many people are motivated. And what's taken that fear away the government house. Now we don't want people starving on the corner without clothes or anything like that. But what happens is there used to be a thing called -- poor house which my mother always referred to have. If you don't work hard you know you don't you'll get a good job on -- -- before us now we don't want anything like that ever again however. Programs that will give you -- hand for a short timer one thing programs that you can stay on in your children to stay on and their children to stay on. And it's generational. -- isn't really helping. What they're doing is keeping you from doing it yourself keeping you from. Fulfilling your your your your best promised instead you they've gotten you to rely on them. That's where you're getting your sustenance and that's where your loyalties. Lie and that's one of the problems big time. And I -- I think that's one of the problems of the government getting weaker. Okay how much time we have we have time to talk to. -- Jack you're on WB yen. And hello -- yes what's on your mind. Our other -- -- to look at each animal was saying to -- before you he took a break when you're in the same you know I think in the mallet actually direct Gordon got ten -- you know while you're there are some more golf and the war. I don't believe it is in my actions -- That I would -- kids. It's that how outlook -- ten kids. -- -- but that but -- does anyone could take care -- will be ultimately okay well we're taking care of your -- The exact right. A bit there is no of fairness that you that they tax codes as just fair you'd be very delusional a very delusion -- -- I gotta tell -- any I'm part of the problem to -- if you're not part of the solution to partner -- optical that you busted my hump in order to make a dollar psychic. As you were -- had been sent to the life beats you -- does blah blah blah blah blah. To you to make -- and I'm not Bob proctor consequent. Apparently giving in getting left and right didn't -- and a lot more or more workers almost like -- dog and that the real. Treasury could a guy who. Acting legally immigrated from my family and everything my father never -- Morton. 35000. -- or is it for your entire life. And I probably used to richest man in the world never wanted for an eating. Absolutely there was self sufficient. My mother my mother also had a thing about pride she said never let anybody know if you have a dime or dollar in your pocket so. -- -- As ridiculous but. I think about it exactly into like his other people -- with disparaging. Saying so you're gonna be a burden on society and what about your kids being a burden on our society abide Akamai tech fell -- -- my -- It will cute cute cute they're much like like I do. -- wells and today well said thank you very much I the you know. You are rewarded for having children. But children are also very expensive even beyond that reward. Very time consuming and now unlike earlier America. I'm European and drive your kids all over the country for a hockey game. And oddly you didn't do that sort of thing there -- no travel team you played on a corner lot. So. You didn't have those kind of responsibilities. The financial responsibilities where mom and dad's and they were very tight. And you did which could afford and you -- -- you can afford and you didn't get what you couldn't afford but with today's society with the electronic communication we have. -- even though we may -- miles and miles away at least we gonna have communication. But things are much more expensive and elaborate now. And everytime I see some kid playing an iPad I think of playing with a broomstick pretending it was a horse. I mean that's just the way it was. And a I'm -- questioning now whether as as these generations get older. -- really appreciate all of the advances that were made during their lifetime. They take things for granted that just weren't available before this. But because they're advances and in technologies -- not mean. That they are advances in human relationships. Relationships transcend. Communications and gadgets and games and stuff like that that's the person to person and you need to have better you don't. But if you if you don't feel like you're a candidate for child. I think you should wait until you feel you are and if -- never feel that you are you Newton is no need to have a child. Pope doesn't agree that but. You -- picked the -- you wanna follow. We'll see you tomorrow morning at nine under Israeli about thirty they'll be via. We'll -- much they never has to music these.

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