Jun 4, 2014|
Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)
-- they just don't have sandy beach and the Pope had something to say as he agreed in fifteen married couples in in Rome. First of all I assume that on the average this isn't for everybody on the average two people fall in love they get married. And they decide. If and when they're gonna have children. They decide if and when they're gonna have pets sometimes they do both simultaneously. And that's the way it is. Sometimes they decide for whatever reason that they really don't want children either they're not suitable parents say they they would feel that way. -- or for some other reason but it's it's their choice and it will be the same thing with pets. I don't think most people say instead of a baby let's have a dog I just conflicts. I think it doesn't go that way but that's the way via the Pope focus that. It's as well Francis told married couples that dogs and cats are no substitute for children and marriages without children end up. With the bitterness of loneliness. So I'm asking you some questions. Animals Arnold substitute for kids I think we can all agree with that but should -- be able to make your own decision on whether you want children. Awe or are you going to look and listen to what the Pope says and and this is this part of the part of a marriage it's almost like. I dictate. At that maybe you maybe one of Jewish Ferrell may be one of The Who has a problem that you don't want -- pass on to the child. Maybe yeah maybe you're very precarious situation changes don't think bringing a child and this time would be the right thing to do. And our American families weaker. Let's go to Donna in. Buffalo -- on WB yen. Good morning Andy he. Would you have and -- very classic. Baby's -- From the point right I just couldn't calorie can. Especially other people. In the meantime and -- -- ninety irony. And we back together. Until today. -- engage in our. We want it to your children. I didn't want -- Well I kept delaying. Getting -- bundling. -- in the -- and opt into four which is thirty years later. I decided. -- -- knew. I was ever gonna get we're never gonna chill children -- he finally caught on after looked at him. And now that. We -- out. You got married -- Now we were still think we are here -- okay. We live together in the four year old Grammy. Com. And we live together we -- -- it. And me we years old saying. -- make as we work even like in Indian children because I was the youngest and Hewitt. I without. I came -- big Italy and he didn't. So he won a lot of children right and -- brother and sister. Hiking or kids that were where. And I just couldn't tolerate myself I don't think about it. Could be days. You know a year which I feel. That I don't need a patient has grown -- And then that should be your choice is certainly get this say your still sell a bit and you live together. Well. We lived together we go to -- able to get that your kids. I can think that your however I work at -- dock. And he absolutely -- Sadat like it's his child. I assume that you have a very high cold water bill -- Well I don't know. -- article into the I don't know forty don't really eloquently here. While that's very and you faster than usual to be honest ahead. I'm at the point where you know in my -- I don't look they. You know Beckett got to be -- -- -- -- island for today and I hear what Kodak today okay. And Bob were still connected we still you know all. We don't do a lot to get it because he works two jobs I retire and now like Jake you're all day. I have a new patient which is -- -- moderate dementia I don't like I hate it the proud. Parents. Other new child having my -- -- -- But you made a decision earlier in your life that you would not be the kind of parent that to you to argue that we would have debate and decided not to I'll give you credit for examining what was best for a UN and your partner there. And are doing what you considered the right thing. And it was directing because after babies that and I thought to myself. If it was right to get -- I was babysitting. Their Lotta times I wanted to get opens may -- kids. Well there's no question that he is no question his children and try your patience and some people are just not cut out to be parents. And some are natural parents. The you can learn to be apparent but I think it's most of it is intuitive and natural. But the key is you should in my mind you should do what's best for you and your partners seems like that's what you've done thank you -- While so a little lead time and to come Simon and Garfunkel head still Sullivan after all these years. But are you gonna make up your own mind for your own marriage I think -- having Rome put pressure on -- to have children. First of all I find it almost mechanical. I don't like this here we're told we're told all about the -- It's it's almost like a a pamphlet. On sexuality. From Rome. When you're very young you're told not to a -- to engage in it at all until you become more mature. And then though when your more mature you're told though not engage at all until your married. And then when your marriage are told -- go 4 o'clock o'clock. Oh idea I don't know it just seems and it seems unusual to me and I was wondering how many of you out there would take the pope's advice literally. You know honey you -- the Pope said that the marriages allowed children and in bitterness -- -- as. He says that. We do have fluffy and Fido here but he says that's no. That's a you can't replace children with -- with pets and I agree that I don't figures place reports -- impressed but I don't think that's of people try to do. And if you have children and -- -- -- to each -- teach wonderful. Lessons. They teach a lesson of the fact that they're not judgmental. They love you if -- our heart surgeon or -- killer. They love you whether you've got the best job or no job they love -- -- -- Brad Pitt or meet today they just love you for yourself had said -- great examples. And when you have children. That the things that teaches children our responsibility. Taking care of the pet. Making sure the parent has water and food and there's a litter box involved. Take care of that if there's no litter box involve take the dog for a walk and make sure you're good neighbor. There's lots and lots of wonderful lessons learned by children who have pets in the house. I don't think you have to pick and choose but if you chose not to have children you shouldn't be chastised for. As of people who are -- who would be able to physically have children but choose not to I'm sure you have given it long and hard spot. And decided not to for whatever reason it is his personal and I don't think they should have the carrier. If Israel -- you know why. Look in the paper some day. Watched television some day all of these people who are allegedly a day you're -- field that is their job their children. See how those children. Are treated. And you tell me what it's better you would do -- decided not to because he didn't think you would have -- that the that model or those who had him by the bushel and and are terrible parents. Which would you rather. We'll be back after this. Love then the matter it's. -- the matter is us. Well I -- Morris and Harry this. -- -- -- Have -- without the -- Yes Theo Pope Pope Francis are getting rave reviews by the way everybody loves both France's. Has issued a statement these -- raise children not pets -- Francis told married couples. The dogs and cats are no substitute for children. And marriages without children. And with the bitterness of long in his first of all I idea I don't think it has to be either or you can certainly have dogs and cats and children. So that's that's not I don't know many people who substitute. Children with dogs and cats there are people who love their -- lot of people can't have children for various reasons and they are not to be faulted for that. So and have children -- pets a lot of a lot of valuable lessons about humanity. They don't care what you look like what you earned. There the original diversity crowd. They just love you for yourself so -- teach great examples plus they're God's creatures god created pets god created animals. And though when we take care of animals isn't that something should be and are positive column. And I don't on the same Croat but I really strongly feel when the push is if your -- you gotta have children that's it. And that is basically what the Pope -- I think that that degrades human beings to breeding stock. That's what animals through. You go to a breeding shed -- got the mayor and the -- there and Andy here this is your job do it. It shouldn't be the same way a marriage. It should be Bravo one of them and looking forward to the future and and a great wonderful things that can happen it shouldn't be it's your job do. And that's as that's the impression I get I I find it. Disconcerting. Is the best drama and I can give you. -- asking animals -- no substitute for kids you agree that I do. Can you be happily married without kids I believe that he or she can and his the American family getting weaker. Let's go to Dave in Lancaster behavior on WB yen. Lowering spending I think are so -- -- your governor great so units of the that this got -- -- all they now. First of all I think the ball off as rocker. Okay because now -- like ever since we've had and he's very opinionated man that guys coming up what part of stop. But Tom it's birds are Americans are concerned. -- I some people have animals some people can even I know some couples. Who don't have animals because they they just don't like animals I know some people that arm. That. You have animals they treated like children but they don't want shorter. And I know some people who shouldn't and the animals at all. I know some people that shouldn't have children at all John and I know I know some people that actually started off and are intermarriage with our dog. The armed each and there are cells responsibilities. And that may end up having children have to work and I know some people who have children and talks to open and you're absolutely right I. You're on the market today I think that some -- but it just haven't animal doctor ordered a teacher some sort of responsibility. -- to children but realpolitik to -- to you all we've got to remember that because there is it also -- conditional and and can you shut it just got it. They yachts that dot creatures killed. But that never came out of his mouth and he should probably said that. And then it is you know I hate I hate you should realize that there are so many animals and what -- just hearing United States. That that need just -- -- loved his children and are just as many children out there over the records that need to be adopted its the same thing that's not a at least. You know not everybody's stupid. They have kids and just because you get married doesn't mean you should be obligated to have children that some people are just not respond or not. I think you said as well as a can be set to be honest review and you cover the whole ground thank you Dave I appreciate your call. I did is exactly right. First of all there's a responsibility. When you're bringing children into the world and and let's let's take the gloves off -- not everybody likes children. Not everybody wants children or likes children. Chances are if you have children you love your children and that's good and and most people will but some people won't. Some people while they don't wanna be Iraq they they don't have -- patience for children they don't have the attitude for children they don't have the aptitude for children. They shouldn't have children just because the Pope says if you to a married you should have children I don't buy that at all. We have how many cases of child abuse that we -- child abandonment. That people having way too many children people have. -- -- can't figure one child have ten till I knew what what's the point that. I don't I just don't get that -- creating for the sake appropriating. I mean we're not short on people on the planet. There's no danger we're gonna get back down Adam and -- and they're going to be the last two. So I think the a great responsibility. Comes with making that decision to have kids. Are you ready are you ready emotionally. Are you ready physically. It is this a suitable place to bring a child into. It do you have a home to bring them to. Do you have any support people because believe me you're gonna need support people. It's an immense job raising a child it's a very worthwhile job but it's not easy and it takes a lot of time and a lot of effort and money. You have to realize I don't wanna sound crass on this but if you don't have to guy stood to rub together and your average kid. You're gonna have to rely on a lot of other people and agencies and whatever. I'm not saying you'll ever have enough money to raise a kid when you see how much it costs to raise a kid. From birth to blow through college what I'm saying is you got to be reasonable rational about it. So if you wanna bring up for a child and a decent atmosphere there's a lot of questions that have to be answered. And the pope's statement is to me a one size fits all but it doesn't fit at all that's the point it doesn't fit at all. And so I don't know what brought the poll they would talk about this because I've never seen animals equated into the -- decision of getting married and having children. But -- -- there's nothing intrinsically wrong with having animals and I I would bet that there are not many people. Who said instead of a child will have a panel I just I just don't see that. So it seems like a straw horse that he set up there who wanna hear from you. Animals are no substitute for kids I think we get all agree on that can you be happily married without kids absolutely positively. And without guilt through. And the American family is it getting weaker eight Austria on Montreal 1806 on six types of music star and I'm very. You're hearing the voice of buffalo WGN. That call us now an 8030930. Cell calls are free and star nine -- -- toll free line is 180616. 9236. -- major governing a sandy beach. We have guys Richard caught in a vice. IRA -- just got married -- Guerrero and and she loves you when you love her mom comes over probably her mom but maybe her mom and your mom come over and say. When you -- it's money you post ranch. There is that pressure. And meanwhile you just got to -- And then the Pope comes -- says. Pets are no -- a different children so you -- pincer movement there he got the two moms and race and I say two bombs I don't know how many guys that do that when you kid's gonna give -- -- went into it all the time. This is not a sexist issue it's a reality issue OK so but Europe the two moms are saying. When you kids going to give us children and the Pope is saying that cat is not a substitute for children so a lot of pressure there. There's a lot of pressure there and you should not be forced into doing something before it's it's the right time to do it the right time to have children. Is when you think it's the right time children. Now when your mother or your mother in law or the Pope says. It's up to you because you want to be a good parent you wanna be prepared. You want to have low life ready for that new addition your family and that that would you have the greatest chance of success. If you feel like you're pushed and or maybe bullied into again is a term bully. Maybe your bullied into it by outside forces but then there's always going to be even though you may not know it. Is going to be that resentment. I wasn't ready and now we have home and this is proving it wasn't ready and not everybody is a suitable parent. How many times a week do you pick up a buffalo on those and hear about some guy who was probably babysitting. His girlfriend's baby that he had -- while she's working the baby cries he can't deal with it shakes the baby to death. Are many times have we heard that it happens all the time. So I don't want people rushed in to having children that are prepared for it. Which we want to we want parents who are prepared and there's always going to be something it didn't prepare for. That's gonna happen all the time is always going to be surprises. Because the one thing I can't think -- many things that are in this category. Once you have a child it changes your life. Totally. Totally it's never the same and never will be the -- Now if you're -- -- that that's fine as long -- -- got a handle -- willing to deal -- -- there -- some people who comes as a surprise it shouldn't. But it does. Let's go to our care and consumer campaigns candor on WB yen. Hey let's close deadbeat brother how are you. I find Dan give me your thoughts about what pulled us civilians don't. Oprah Oprah yeah I I definitely agree with the air ambulance and Q and -- -- -- -- that body -- Michael we gave. Yet. It's it's unbelievable I've been married for awhile now objects and we. -- -- -- -- -- that we love having the extra money we still at soldier would love -- -- money and that's how it was too excited when we got married. And helper prepare for the record. In -- and we were great kids. You know at my biggest pet -- I really think that he needs she. Mine are -- -- that where you get it should all output moderate line which -- of the you know it's all -- -- And it starts there where does it and for animals in any minute you yet. Lot of those are my kids I'd love to that that looked all. Man you musical hope I've not but again and so sometimes you gotta throw line and. Now I mean he can give via advice and it might be right for him and some people but not right for everybody and you make your own personal choices you sound like a guy who's prepared to take on life and I'm glad to hear that Jim thank you. The other Pope is giving out advice and that's fine that's a bowl of soup but what I'm saying is there's at. -- There's a reason. The I could've done more deals. There is the I should've thought of that guilt. There is the how come I'm not living up to expectations guilt. And well is guilt -- -- your mind. Your life is is is on the clock. Your life as it is passing. -- my attitude is this you do the best job you can for as long as you can and that's all the can be gas. That's all it can be asked if you're doing the best job you can as long as you can and that's it there should be no criticism at all and to be honest with you. It's nobody's business. Whether you're going to have children and not accept you and your wife or you'll win your husband. -- -- the only true that should count you're the only two -- should get a vote on this. You've seen and I've seen people. Who you can tell just by glancing at them these are not suitable going to be suitable parents who can adapt to. Two of the degree necessary to raise a child. And you you know but they may decide to have -- -- -- they have -- they've got to deal with it. But that's why we have so many people in Child Protective Services so many of fathers especially in jail somebody mothers. In jail. It's time you think that because a woman gave birth to a child. That that that's going to be a perfect union wanted to figure a woman named Smith her first name bootstrap the Susan Susan Smith. Who strapped her children -- three of them. In the backseat of her car and rolled the car while they were buckled in and couldn't get out rolled it into a body of water. Now you tell me if that somebody that was supposed to have children it becomes overwhelming. But the pressure is to have them because that seems like it's the right thing to do. But today the responsibility. You're the best you -- the best judge of whether your qualified. Or not human like you like children but here's a test when you -- -- somebody's house. And you're playing what their kids in your really enjoying it but -- happy when you leave. I think a lot of people say that yes I was over here and I applied to the kids I love that the boy them. I'm glad I get to go home now and there's no kids there so maybe that's enough for you may be very DO overwhelming responsibility of raising a child. Is more than you can take on but maybe down the road you'll want to poignant and your better equipped so if you're looking for a successful. Marriage. In a successful outcome the last thing you wanna do is rush. You wanna take your time no what's the right thing do -- -- to an intellectually and got a better chance of it having a better outcome will be back -- activists. Love then the matter is it. -- the matter to us. Well like rove Morris and Harry is this. -- you know there. Have -- without the -- It is region company. Yes not everybody likes children as a matter -- famous quote by the great comedian WC fields who. Notoriously did not like children even though he had act with some of them. A win in the press one day asked him Abiola. Audio like children he said par boiled. Which is. -- A famous line not mine of of this. So I'm asking if you're if you're embark about the Pope says the Pope says animals are no substitute for kids. And I think we're gonna agree with -- happened they don't have to that you can have animals and kids and I don't see many people. Saying. Well let's see it's a tough decision should we have a jobless should -- get a cheap. And I -- that decision comes up very often. But I'm asking your opinion can you be happily married without kids absolutely positively. And sometimes people have to come to different conclusions. First of -- I think that. Any coupled before they get married if they have strong opinions and -- once children one doesn't shouldn't get married. It's a vision have the same goal. If they do the same goal when they think they are ready then it's their decision to make and it's not there -- mothers and their mother in laws or even the -- it's there's. And I -- a better chance of success and the American family -- wake according to waste a survey from CBS radio -- do you agree with that. Okay -- we have a Donna on a cell phone -- on WB. Good. I was worried -- bit -- -- a lot of my under but I love that you just. And I want to get something earlier you mentioned that it was the relationship between two people. That should make. That -- weakening whatever you're out. Somebody Meister a collector. Pioneer. I married an older man but before we got married. OK I had a job I was traveling on the part of undergone two weeks out of every month. And so we got married in the what he -- at -- like just about four months or got married he said -- No children. And I said OK here's the deal because I was in my early thirties and -- older and out. I sit here at Indy because I didn't know what was gonna happen I'm a woman I don't know -- it feel later on in life are currently at a great job I. Allegory about the ticking biological clock trading like at -- point in my life. So I think here's the deal I. I will make. Two promises to number one I don't aren't gonna feel so we may have to revisit from time but number two I will never ever. Get pregnant accidentally on purpose. Not to get too well so I've been married for a year my Richard job. He goes I didn't get married forty years old -- gone on out of every year. And I episodic I have a blast what -- spectacular marriage my husband and I were met while still not over. And spent thirteen years OK well. After I bought all in all it's all aunt is here and make it you know being you know make up and a ball inside work. That it out really enjoying. And he comes home Monday and he's certainly. You know there's only one thing it's really nothing my -- out from the wrong and he said yeah. We need to have children. So here's the men were probably well I don't want any children right but we were so happy. And I got tired that day our daughter was born you would have thought that this man was seen first on that. She was little ones to child. In my opinion -- government. That's because the preparation was done you are readied the timing was right. And it was it was 42 year old -- absolutely devoted honor the light of his life. And by the way cheer me that I became you know suddenly divert me. I'll. You know and now he -- the other thing is we didn't do anything except what comes naturally. I didn't stand on my head or go in any anything because once and we both agreed attic and you have to grant thing is -- and we both agreed you know the early it interfered in pregnant and typically happen naturally. Maybe we shouldn't be having them that you -- not intended to have them well. Inaccurately really. How I would obviously you're we were supposed to have our daughter. That was coming out so that that's my story and pictures singing that the person who. Did not want children and I was very -- ambivalent about was the one who really really wanted to. And again he was you know they don't -- it -- -- secondarily and I cannot adopt. I have an older sister. -- get married as she was forty. Because she never want to children. And it's occur along time to meet. And demand she married never wanted children. And that they piling up. And they've been married now for 24 years they have no children they travel the world they're happy that you never end no regrets about not any children. They haven't you know adopted you know 27 dog that I don't like of -- and of animals and children -- don't like that at all. I think it's a little strange but anyway. So as far as being kept they have a better relationship. They agree on what they want. And why not add up was bringing a child into our relationship when one party don't want. You've you've given tool fabulous examples. -- viewing her -- -- -- your husband it was a natural thing and when it happened and it was enhanced by the fact that it wasn't forced it was natural and you already. And and the second story told is also write people can have a a wonderful giving caring life and not I'm not have children as part of it and and be perfectly happy and we should be have -- -- and so. Better examples like on the -- thank you and that's exactly the way. I think it should be -- -- time you for saw that we have to talk somebody in the something. You may have made the sale but there's always something in the back of -- says. I was talked into it Ivy League IIX I gave the end but it's it's it's not right as opposed to we all want it we both agree. We can hardly wait we prepared everything. Ago you know people changed throughout the years ago my in my early twenties I was dead set against getting married or having kids. -- a little bit older in life then yeah I wanna get married in obviously dead in their kids. There are different and a sensibility of RG you see things differently you know what's missing in your life which would like to see but unfortunately a lot of people. Feel pressured from the time they get married because let's face it. The church and in this case the Catholic Church does not recommend sexual activity for fun and games sexual activity is for procreation. Okay. That's the basic thought right there and so. Oftentimes people are conflicted. Is it time we ready will we have enough money by the way. You'll never have enough money don't like -- and if you waited for bat an ordinary jets OK I've but you have to be rational and reasonable. Somewhat. Of your expectations. When it's time it's your time. It's not your mother's time. And I adored my mother it's not your mother in -- time and I adored my mother in law it's your time you know and your wife make the decision. The Pope is not involved in this. Will be back after.