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WBEN NewsRadio 930>Audio & Video on Demand>>5-20 Tom Bauerle Show Hour 4

5-20 Tom Bauerle Show Hour 4

May 20, 2014|

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

News radio 930 WBS. Yeah. I wore us down upon you with great. If you go to the hole looked up -- -- that anxious and my -- And welcome to the New York City. If they are the extreme conservatives they have no place in the State of New York. No one -- with an assault rifle. No. Until then. He is about time. Tom hourly. Colin. Powell went up to. And economic environment and how lengthy and I've got covered up -- and welcome. It's live its local capital. Full -- Looks like it's huge it's Tom hourly I'd like you. You have -- I'd like owners. In the interview room. You know I have to be honest with you is right I hope I always him. I was not expecting to spend this law on this topic and for whatever reason. Somehow it has all worked out today I wish there were so many people who have lost a child. And as I said the very beginning of the show. You know when my dad died he was what 78 years old. And did it hurt -- bit -- but. But that's the way it's supposed to go and I remember talking about it at the time. -- -- you you all of us have a shelf life. And we expect that we're gonna hit seventy -- eighty -- 85 years old we all have a shelf life. Nobody however expects a child to -- Little -- -- five years old. In her twenties from buffalo. Natalie Lewis. And I hope. You'll forgive me I don't know Natalie. At least dad's name but her mom. Used to be noticed -- -- more they cheated although it radio on KB. Radio 1520 manages to beat her on several occasions. You'll never meet a nicer person than Natalie is mom Trisha never. She's just the real Leo she still Lila before Delilah. And I know the city beach saw very early the talent she had. I heard the -- because I would listen to her after I got off the year late night if that's what I'd stop by KB studios before you know. Before we owned everything. Could stop either studios that I just quiet and talked to -- for a few minutes or trash for humans and just the delightful person. And what I mentioned those two names those are just two names I know that we have had other fatalities involving children I know we've had murders involving children. I know that we've had a number of children who died of horrible diseases. But the two names you know it's like anything some names are just Maurer. Are mentioned more than others when tragedy strikes. And everybody heard a band. Few people probably hurt Natalie Lewis outside the swimming community and the Darden community. Calm but we would have heard over because she was destined for great things. And I don't know where her fiance. -- is where he lives or. Anything about him other -- brother my heart is with you. My heart breaks every time I think about the grief. Through which you were going. I've been there. That's as far as I'm gonna say and there's nothing bad. Is ever gonna make that better. And I wish secretary there is but there -- and a. It's. You know it is -- is beyond words. But. There's also something very very very. Deep. And very just shattering. About a parent. Whose child dies suddenly. Or. After a lengthy battle as did little band. And you know sort of told you guys. With that by various. Health issues which again -- I have a constellation. Of medical weirdness which is unique on this planet I won't go down the entire list. But if I die tonight. Please understand I did everything I wanted to do. All right I did I did what I wanted to do everything. Almost everything. And the stuff that I want to do that I didn't have a chance to do well what that what that important but when you're talking about somebody who's five years older somebody who's in their early twenties. They haven't even -- And that's that's just a tremendous tremendous. Tragedy. If your parent and you've gone through that. I can't begin to. Relate to. Hell. You even put the pieces. Back together. And this is a pity party show by the way. -- -- -- -- -- -- Give people have feelings. People have emotions. We love our children. Very deeply. Well most of us do obviously some people don't some of them because of mental analysts and others because they're just idiots. But. None of us expects. That call. None of us expects to be told hey your five year old has a rare disease prognosis is grim. You know I'm fifty I get a grim prognosis. It's fine. I got fifty years at least. So there's no morning. I don't get depressed over. Whatever the prognosis happens to be with me I will tell you. That for quite a period last summer and confide something and you before I knew what was going on. I was tremendously impressed last summer. I would spend weekends on the couch. Doing nothing. And I didn't know why I had no reason at all to be depressed not. Until I had the medical work up and then I started getting these headaches and then the doctors put two and two together dude. It's cerebral vascular -- this is a common situation the headaches are what's making you tired which is what are making you depressed. You know what that's -- 49 years old fifty years old. I'm cool with that. Kids now I I'm not cool would never will be cool with. Let's get back to the calls Honda WB yen. It's Angie in -- alana an -- is the mother of buffalo hero firefighter. Jonathan chrome. And NG your son when he died he died doing what he always wanted to do we always. -- -- -- -- A buffalo firefighter he always wanted that job he did it and he died in the line of duty. There's the fact that he died in the line of duty and that you had that support. From Buffalo's bravest. And their continued support. Did that make it any easier at all knowing that you had that background of of people Lavinia. I am I I can't beat -- dead. At the the and it would be it -- and yet there aren't a whole lot. Child people are I didn't have a computer until May. I was fortunate enough yet. -- because it will it was very much aware and and -- Lotto and that they they pull it was tremendous. -- -- you get it is that the catcher is get 5000. The FDA so common among a lot of three months later where I'll get in one of college and people are. People live their lives and yet in the family include -- -- -- -- -- -- director -- that. That. It was such -- waved it actually I'm a tiger or elderly older you're only dynamic. And all the time you'll find that the bulk and -- mountain by the people that they can't -- war. People are a lot of people who are creating -- -- -- Parent who has just blocked the child he lectures you dynamics -- they don't want at the end and it's a lifelong. Can't believe that you. Wanted to share. Well and you know there's there's a reason for that and may be even before this happened if you think about yourself how many times did you say to yourself well I'm gonna go to the -- I got to make an appearance at the -- I got to show I was there but then after the way you take comfortable with the black dress and you go about your life. And you know it's the same thing with with other people people have bills to pay they have lives they have to live and unless they are your closest most trusted beloved friends you're right a lot of them. They're the don't want to be swallowed up in the sea of negativity. And sadness. I mean if you're going to be your I I could sense maybe a little resentment with what I just said and and feel free to challenge him. I'm not I don't think college -- it but I don't get probably that the analogy that I would. And absolutely. And I think well it it will not experienced that yet quiet. They can't get built for people who -- -- -- -- -- with -- -- And they know how to deal because you really don't look at the areas that lot. You really don't go about -- that they I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for you is there anything that yeah. Hey -- how long was it before you can actually open up. And read the sympathy cards. And it. -- on at my son that. The at a home in -- at skylight and -- a heart -- -- architect -- and I answered -- single one of them. You know at an expression of gratitude because I didn't know what else to do with my -- I can get you on prominent figures green color. Actually -- that he was at the memorial service and I -- so many. Fire police and first responders they mean to step memorial service that I I probably and the -- my life and not be able to. -- public I really appreciate. Their being the act. It. Well. So might be initially be quiet political actual work and actually try to build a normal life I can reading now are. Well I hope that nobody listening has to go through what you went through. But within the Arab department whether it's the PD -- -- I'm sorry my dear I I got to hit traffickers it's a really crappy traffic -- but I have a question that only you can really answer. And a plea please hold -- let's find out what traffic is doing here's Alan Harris. -- -- and that just a couple of hours ago it was 69. Now it's 57 big difference between 69 and 57 like 69 you can Wear shorts 57. There's been wearing shorts right now on it or don't always -- drive and all. I'm -- the top down damage today. Overcast a shower or thunderstorm the overnight low 55 Joseph thanks and went -- -- -- everybody else hey Mike in front page article. -- drives home an array of which are open and see it now just used the tuxedo picture guys. -- the -- seven is what are we are right now WB Ian now Angie who's on is Jonathan crew and one of the heroes who died in that fire five years ago lol most. Do you. In the event somebody else has to go through this whether there buffalo -- suburban firefighter. Or police officer. Art is a group of you that can get together to help people. In the immediate aftermath of the tragedy have you thought about maybe forming a group of survivors widows and with a -- who can be there who can hunt trying to hold the hands of people who were going through. That kind of a loss of a dedicated. A cop or firefighter. Aaron actually I'm an organization that. Profile didn't -- -- out I don't know I can match. -- -- -- you absolutely meant. There at all well and other fighters. And era but the -- dedicated Marla liability act. On fire fighter and -- under the iMac. And -- is true that the police yeah bureau organization. -- as well. Immediately reached out me and my gambling. And over the -- -- actually attended the third nationally. With bankers and I mean that quote. Local. Survivors include people in spot in the you know while ironing out a lot of the actor and legal and what they did pretty packed together for a few days. And we actually county -- Get the European -- where it's been like. People that are out there I've -- -- little guy and you know. Area into -- at the end of a lap on that become wet out he had a lot of young arms at the last circumstances -- -- articulate. I hope -- my dear I hope you'll forgive me for saying in this -- I think your your son you know I think of most I think of the pictures of his infectious smile. I never saw a picture of your son Jonathan true where he wasn't smiling from purity here just real quickly so everybody knows how is the family. -- You're doing a good okay. -- yeah how. It all our. Well I'm -- -- are. To actor Eric. But. I would do it that it acted and a lot of fun loving art. Are you sure do and I'm I'm honored that you are called and I really am and thanks for being a regular listener and united you know it's. When I was work in the morning after you know we need this job you never know who is listening and how close people are to the actual events. And the fact that you called and now a few times I really am ma am honored I know. I don't Tom youngster listens every day from the Cotter. At least when he's -- work him but for them he calls at work I'm not sure about that but. I know he is but I'm glad you are as well Angie and thank you very much. I bet that they didn't do appreciate you always elect and call it because you know even people can't open up because there isn't very very difficult topic. It's because -- It provides an outlet an expense passivity -- people can actually be able to share and they'll grieve yet. You got to pay -- people what their lot. Your children need to propose that a grieving after many many years and but the truth come out and get out of bad hand and Natalie because it we will only get our. Indeed and -- again I'm honored thank you very very much for calling in and yet Tom Tom bunker as the captain of the Cotter and he's a friend of mine and I -- I am entitled to break his -- to see you know. 646 -- WB yeah. -- what's just -- all in Anderson is a freaking musical genius okay seriously. It is 636 newsreel I'm thirty WB ENN it is -- hourly with you can hear my amounts or it's a bad thing about -- -- here. I have two out as the self Trent. On Boca there I did a self trip because it was hanging down my face and when it hung in any problem. When it looked down at the mine well it was aggravating so IA did -- a little spiraling -- out of my face at least that most of the time so there's that. Anyway does got to get my once daily so there's Matt into the show hate but does -- earlier said. Innovative agree with me but they think I'm an okay person I'm trying really hard to be better person I've been triumph for awhile. And one of the things if I could offer advice. Try to understand not to take things personally. Because what they -- little -- wanted more. But I was at a restaurant. And Saturday night. With. A rather stunning woman -- We'd expect me to be with anything but a stunning woman and the. Server originally. Let's just say this much. To say he was a little Kurtz and the route would have been an understatement. Are right. So. I'm certain there and I get this certain look on my face when I'm thinking about a wise this thing to say. First the ball I was gonna say it after the food was brought to the table because they didn't wanna find any special sauce and so I'm thinking to myself. I'm saying to this guy you know hospitality really isn't your strong suit is. But that -- that this is important this is the part two which -- -- in Britain it then I realized what probably had happened. He would probably just at a table which stiffed him on a tip. That's what I thought. I'm thinking to myself why would this guy. Look at us. And Desai and does not goal over the top with. Courteous -- and be friendly. He got this look of disgust on his race. Because I thought the Pellegrino sparkling water was just going to be for me. But that is that although it's going to be for the entire table -- -- -- -- in that case I'll have a Diet Pepsi. And he got this disgusted look on his face. Silly walks away from the table. And I got that look on my face. That. I get a certain book. -- I started thinking. Why logical. Because remember this is. Who's in the hospitality industry. Kind of come off like he didn't wanna be of help to us then it hit me. You know what. Our question this guy just had a table of six. They probably ran up a 300 dollar check and probably gave the three dollar tip. So he's probably in shock over. Being blown out of -- So I noticed gradually. The more he came back to the table the friend earlier he became and the less standoffish he became. And I think my theory was right. Because. Generally speaking if I go to a restaurant I leave at least a 20% tip and that's not BS that's generally relieved when -- percent to usually it's more meant. So what -- way paying for the mile giving democratic guard Tom buy -- And I gave him I think gate 25%. Tip. And if his face could communicate. What do communicated to me was you know what I know that I was an ass at first. You guys still gave me a big tip. Thank you for understanding that I got bone from the previous table what do you think. During that makes sense because I was all set to tell a guy after the food came at hospitality was -- a strong suit. But when I saw that he'd kind of light. And up during the course -- that I realized you know what that's why why would a server. Trying to be pugnacious. Because he has got -- out of debt. And my theory is if you can't folks discuss no matter who you are just going into the wrong way some of if you can't afford to leave a an appropriate fit when he about the eat don't quality. Because the servers are doing it for their health. My daughter is a server any small restaurant in Cheektowaga. I've heard the horror stories. About people with a fifty dollar checks to leave two dollars. Seriously. Really. They're called Canadians. Sorry I had to say that that's not necessarily true. But the lesson to take away from that little story is. You don't know what that person just experienced. I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt and I'm glad I did. Because. When we were leaving he did give me the look he thanked this twice. Thank user. Thank you like that and I'm talent yet that's the reason I storm -- is -- no given on the year. But. I've found that. Not always but sometimes when you put yourself the other person's shoes. It makes inexplicable behavior more. Understandable. And I don't claim perfection. You know I really don't. I told -- last week I had a business meeting that was just constantly interrupted. By the time this one woman came to the table. I was not exactly in a good move. And she had to bear the brunt of it like no I don't wanna talk to you don't want us to you where in the hell out of here because we can't even week any regular business done. Our let's get back to the calls on that WB -- were talking about those of you who have lost children. Those of you who've had to bury your child. I cannot imagine the pain. So many if you've been through it and so many if you've helped your fellow listeners. 8030930. Start I'm 3180616. WB EM Maggie has been on hold forever Maggie thank you for your patience -- appreciated. Talk helped restore a bigger. I'll thank you for taking my arm. And I think they're trying to they're having a topic that first I'm calling an unfortunate the topic but. My daughter's been on my next week she would have been turning had. Unfortunately her birth date and the -- she -- or de LA -- -- is kind -- because I. Every year got a lot of -- not on the -- Where era where she was born and saying -- So did Shakespeare for any consolation. Yeah -- she was. I had gone to the doctors before she is born and it completely. Healthy -- went into labor and somewhere within 24 hours -- had I. Oh wait a minute wait a minute -- -- she died in early infancy. Like right after she was born. All my dear I am so sorry and and I almost hate to ask. But. Okay. How many times did in sensitive people say well it's not like in new word. Oh yeah and you're at it it's funny you know thank you first egg laying into the and the -- calling it that. The one thing and I I can't take away from. You know anybody battle with infertility. But when people try to compare it to a -- six treatment care it's not think that. It is litigate before I was in my doctor doctor and -- -- up -- -- what you're gonna have a baby any day now. It in the reader might not think thing is that. The litigation was born I should not had signed consent form proper autopsy and that that this should not execute perfectly healthy they did not why I don't. The other is that in the app networking that you out of it other than her capping what they elect and prepared for -- -- -- That the people avoid a -- A month after she -- I had gone to a family wedding they're people who avoided -- -- flag -- an issue. They would they would talk to me because they were still on comparable. Because it is because it is that it is not natural for Eric Berry trial. Other people in my family avoid me like the plague but for entirely different reasons. They of the people just people -- like there's -- that people that was content that I blocked contact with it. People don't know how to approach it didn't care and the thing is what I wanna -- electric is that. There's no wrong thing to say no apparent -- no you know there's no there are no there are no perfect word there are no there are no -- where it is it. -- something you it doesn't have to be eloquent that it simple on Ari you know that. That's -- it took I think sometimes people are so afraid. To spend the parent or their prayed about it something they're gonna break down into -- for economical. About a -- I mean I know this really OK look I mean I'm a conservative area are right I have not lost my man card and I still have my testicles but. I would. Think Maggie but I would say to you may I give you a hug I would always ask for permission at least -- hug which I think sometimes can be more eloquent. -- -- And that's really an issue in looking you know with the capping a portable portable will be adage. You get people put him but I don't know you their artwork and -- and -- -- -- perfect there are no word because it is so unnatural. -- you know an anecdote like hitters in other -- wanting to say that jokingly outlook quick. If you come -- -- who have lost a child don't say gee I can't imagine rear quarter or I I don't are the president I had put down my dot. -- -- all my god oh my god I I had to put my god -- the early part. On their they're okay you you know as much as I loved animals I cannot think of how. Moorish that would be. And that I wasn't expecting actually burst out -- I'm the guy that open -- I had to put down my dog. You know I'd like you know they meant well but unfortunately. They just a lack social skills and be I think his lack of basic understanding of of of what you went through. And I forgive me for asking the question but. When you mentioned that you had to sign -- consent form for the post mortem the autopsy. Did the autopsy reveal the cause of death. What went wrong what happened is that there was on the the court but after counter -- several several times a bit but the thing is -- happened to be big important court record every single day. And there and they're completely fine. They're what they're what they're not it was a very arms very tight not accord on an advantage in your usually being tiger or whether or not. What the doctor you understand is that when they -- When I delivered her that there was absolutely no and got excellent and they wanted to rule out any sort of fire expert illness or their comfort and I'm very Harry had a child. So they wanted to -- it was pretty sort of genetic thing you know if it ended up having you know and another trial but it is beta there was no re import a whole -- whole situation. Which it turned upside -- how how you ultimately for our having a child a perfect -- that are the. I. The the strength you brought to the conversation is amazing I have to take this one step further. When women have miscarriages. And I don't if if I -- woman who's had a miscarriage I don't care if it's after three months. I send a sympathy. Arrangement of flowers because. I really think that miscarriages. It takes something from I don't know if you went through any of that prior to having your -- but I know. I know women who had miscarriages. Who carry that around with them their entire lives and nobody -- knowledge is the miscarriage. And what in what happened at that -- -- what it is so difficult with my when I had my son afterward that. My you know my first thought Archie was attacked the pardon -- my second daughter -- she was attacked a pregnancy. And they're -- they're -- a -- the -- we'll try to connect up with an agent didn't -- only because the women in the group. And I I eat my heart goes out to women who had issued a fertility that was not my reality. It I think the women in the -- -- like oh my gosh you know trying to get back in the past week eight but I can get get past week twelve. You know that's. -- vote for their children are kept quite get an action to capture I'll be okay. For me I wouldn't labor at that you know might -- -- good fun I was with a paranoid wreck the entire time there what now if I can get it capped. No you're you're and you're not paranoid you were legitimately. Concerned based on the available evidence big difference between that and paranoia and I forgive Mike correction but. That's something that's kind of a sore point with. That's just you know that's just what what should I. I know I had no point to get password could rest see -- -- I hear you Maggie. I think that your call is the best way to end this year because you brought actually believe it or not a bit of levity to it with that whole -- I know what it was like I had to put down my dog. Thank -- I needed that and out the show and thank you so much for calling him the best to you and your family. It -- -- argued that thing sure. About your -- and it's kind of funny and anybody you know and Nevada think that the humor what's different between the community Canadian. Our canoe will tip. -- -- -- -- Idea by the way to have the Canadian joke shield as my -- so ancestors were among the very first settlers of Montreal the census at 1666. Reveals. Didn't he blows so my twelfth great grandfather. Robert. It is 654 is ready in my 30 WBZ -- let. I he had cannot believe that we are all out of time for today hey I'd just say you know this this program I think. Wives exceedingly. Helpful. To an awful lot of people. And I know old how difficult it must have been for some of -- call and to relate some of these stories but. Seriously. Each and every caller. Where is just magnificent. I had no intention of doing this for four hours I thought -- lighten things up over time. But clearly this was a show that had to be done -- I've never done this topic before. And obviously it was something that you guys wanted. And I'm glad that we're on the same page so thank you very much prevent. Thanks again to Joseph Bieber for masterful work -- master control. And for John German for as usual outstanding efforts at call screening it has hourly and I shall leave you with but two words. No yourself. We're about to.

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