Apr 18, 2014|
Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)
Exclusive WB and AccuWeather forecast cloudy today it's going to be okay and today's no today from my problem Burks is an eighty dollars and advocates of a Batavia country club for forty box enjoy regionals and offered through into large buckets of balls. Just a short drive from Rochester. Or ball awful go to W -- dark comic put my buffalo perks logo we're talking about -- -- an article on the Wall Street Journal promo last month says it is very difficult for people say no. Because you want people like you and generally know is considered a rejection. It can be for the right reasons that can be perfectly justified but people do not like to say no. And so they say practice say no and those things to avoid. No not this maybe I'll catch you next time. Because as -- -- say that they are starting the company minutes until next time and then you've -- either say -- again. All our rope or feel badly about it in his articles are set boundaries to. Our foreign auto work you have to say like you mean that blame outside circumstances see there's a lot of good it helpful hints in here aren't. Oh our prior commitment to helping someone else -- saying no. But be careful to avoid implying your obligations are superior to the other person's request. So some -- hey you -- -- go to the movies say no I'm having lunch with Barack Obama. You see something like that some that would trump that. You know argue that you say she really so I'd love to go to movies were going to be a one of my favorite things to do unfortunately I'm I'm having. A policy of having a -- an America that's it. I know I don't have any -- noble and when it comes up I'm gonna get a cut. I know you don't believe me but trust me repeat your refusal. Possibly using the same words. As often as you can to have the other person get the message. So they ask you something you say. My answer to that is. No. No no no had a goal. -- No no no no no. No. And. A call. -- amendment browser do you mean no can you think about it. Clinton yet organic. Also repeat the temptation to add maybe next time that's always set publisher remain -- just saying oh. It is -- -- -- because you don't wanna do it. They're gonna ask you something similar to do now maligned if you say maybe next time let's go to a gym on a cell phone -- on WB yen. -- and I Jim elected just. Develop a long time ago. I got my priorities -- you know -- BCA. And there shark and I just -- -- -- -- or. I implement our our our. No I -- money goes in a different direction. And I think you have a quick cause I just know I I know my ma am effort she Arctic air. Should you weren't getting solicitation to get in dollars and report came -- like -- -- got a -- yours I feel at all. Are dressed or her know people being. On number absolutely. Broke the record. It's just I think you're right you better. Gave my all that likes war are different. Charity organizations were upper. -- and I am sorry. You guys bought. My query or protector. That's a that's a burger way to look at it because you'll be you know physically and fiscally you can't give to every cause and so. If you pick and choose and your fair about it and and you you know you feel your endured -- generous person that's all he can be asked to do. I know that there was right stations. Where Aston -- emotionally a lot of things a lot of groups and that the of the causes are always good. But how do you pick one over the other you gotta you gotta balance significant shows and that's what you're saying -- I think that you've given our audience good advice. Excellent that's a very good. Yeah you know is is -- more important give too long association cancerous association. Roswell park this -- the day I mean there's. Everybody is doing some good of the ones I just mentioned and others obviously. So it's just a matter of you can't give to all of them so you have to make it's a decision. What's important to you what do you wanna see further with your donation and that's the best you can if you do that that's all it can be -- the -- Because. But but he's right. I still get solicitations. For things that -- contributed to this and he's been gone for seven years. And I get them on a regular basis I would guess I get to Israel week. I'm on things that those issues very generous woman. And a terrific lately and that she supported a lot of causes and and they still do they still do. It never goes away but never ever ever. Getting back to the article in the Wall Street Journal minute if we say no it'll change the way other people view us and make us feel badly. I know is a rejection neuroscience. Has shown our brains have a greater reaction. To the negative the into the positive. Negative information produces a bigger and swept the surge of electrical activity. In the cerebral cortex than those positive information. Negative memories are stronger than positive ones and see that's sad because people will tell you. Be positive. You should be positive as your glass half full or is it happened to. But here we learned of the brain reacts. It a stronger manner to negative information I'm positive and information. Well like like this show for instance when the show is over as the market in my office if Tim Weiner comes and and says -- have a minute. Fabulous showed today. OK for solid drop dead because he's never done that but it's only been sixteen years. No as of -- That's supposed to do your show really shocked today which is much more likely you know it's it's okay. But the bottom line as we do react more. Two it's a negative and positive you would think to be the opposite way when. That somebody praising you giving you. Elevating you know doing things you'll like he giving you something you'd say yes do you think that would have a stronger impact no it's the other way. It's the well it's a biblical if you think about it. And I'm not a Bible scholar but when they -- when you look after the one sheep that has strayed. I always thought it is better to keep track of all heard. Once she is always go -- but that that it was a purposeful. A quote in the Bible. But it's the same mindset. It's the same in your business. It's the same in your real life. Isn't it better in to my mind to look after the majority as opposed to somebody who drifts away. Over the period of people who were into the helping other people business. I'm not looking for people who have -- who have no problems of what you have people who do have problems and so you can see that. But is it seems like the negative. Stays with us longer -- the positive we'll take a -- will be back we -- know if you say no. Do you have any tricks of the trade is there anything you do we all decided that. You will you return phone calls when you know if you're on talk to a person that the American Lance. And you leave a voicemail I cannot tell you how many times voicemails to -- and yes. I will be back -- more would beach and company. Not important it is -- governing -- from an article in the Wall Street Journal. As how to say no they said it's a smaller but it's tough to say people want to please other people. And usually the other people are expecting a yes answer and when you -- now. You feel bad about it because you would think it reflects poorly on you even if it's the right thing to do a Chris we have a several postings today on FaceBook yesterday the sun comes from Cathy she's as I am not good at saying no -- week I need to serve others and makes it almost impossible and when I finally -- and allies feel extremely guilty about it. Yeah out I carry around guilt all the timeless. I don't -- its of from a time where children. While we're taught to if you did this you should feel badly about it a -- we do we carry around Joseph sometimes. Without any real cause but it's necessary it's it's part of our -- another place. This line and comes from Chad he says I'm not good at saying no to anybody friends friendlies strangers makes no difference. If you're singling out people seem to have no problem saying no to me I guess -- England's -- You know where you really have to learn to be able to say no and this is stuff is if you own a pickup truck because if you auto pickup truck. Every body who wants them all -- thing will ask the -- and they'll say. Is pickup truck available next weekend you have to drive it well coming and it whatever. And you you you keep it clean the better of your pickup truck you could live in right there's not a scratch John you don't want anybody else the B drive an important heavy stuff on the back of it and maybe not lashing download. Good countries aren't doing. Lashing down below its poignancy but -- -- so you don't want -- really lend it out. Wit without supervision because you'd be worried about a bolt -- it's gone so then you suddenly if you're gonna when his truck then you wanna drive right. But if you have a pick up drug and I've had their -- you are everybody's favorite -- when it comes to moving stuff. There's two others that I would imagine have a difficult time and give us a lot that would be. If you're an IT guy your computer or now are all well -- come over take a look at my -- PC like our guy Jim Kelly right he's not -- ends in college football guy we have a guide Jim Kelly to. Yeah anything goes wrong with the or any electronics you naturally gravitate toward him I hate to do that in fact I almost never do because. And they get overloaded with would request that's like bringing. A piece of equipment down to. The engineering book a day and asking them fix. First of all its study infertility. So why would you why would you try that but if you feel bad because that's not one this year. Any other suggestions of good places the same now while another war occupation would be mechanics a few little things artists he changed my brakes can you didn't exist in that seemed a good part about being me is I don't know how to do anything. Anything I mean if you need a few Indy summit in -- your party I guess I could do that I I wouldn't but I guess I accord but anything else. Yeah change at Norwalk forget it I can't do that painting I hate -- yard work -- don't do yard work. Anything like that I'm happy to wash my car humanizing clean and -- that's good. I can I can do some things but nothing. Requiring any scale that's very important event if skill as required count me out and my father could delay any thing. He could do electrical he could do mechanics it was a mechanic for a long time he could do anything -- inning as -- summit can't do anything. So that is that's what's wrong and a picture. My mindset is is I'm not going to do anything that I don't want to do. So if I set my mind -- that no that's not something I would be interest and then forget it I'm not going to do it and I have no problems tell somebody no. Like when you move into a neighborhood and see you know neighbors OK crescent is there anything that. That day you're asked to do that you don't wanna do what you have the skills do it art or the people ask you to do things that luckily you don't out of doing for sports. It happens on a grocery store is these days doesn't it for like any kind of drives food drives like cancer drivers always good causes. They wanted to throw an extra two with three or five dollars and I sometimes -- problem is they do it all month long and if you go to the store you know 45 times a month. It's 25 bucks are giving us some Crosby you maybe interested in but don't -- distraught 25 -- do business. But I like to go to OK and I mentioned them and I always mention them in a favorable light -- are great store I really enjoy going there. And -- -- a regular customer there aren't. But every time you check now they ask you would you like to donate a dollar to fill in the blank. I -- to be put in the position to say no. I mean OK. Let's say how Konami can afford that sees buying a new grill but he can afford a dollar for a charity. I don't like that we don't I don't like it when your company's suggests that you get involved with their favorite charity my attitude is my company as well a lot more money than I do if they like that -- let them support it. But I pick and choose the charities I support. So I don't want to be put in that kind of position a year kind of offense then there when they ask you to support this and sometimes it's. It's so general that you really don't know. For instance and I'm not trying to be -- here so don't even think about criticizing me for a Wednesday. There's there's that thing going on now it's it's a -- drive in buffalo. And it's a local drive -- -- stressed that okay. To feed the hungry. It's a big push in buffalo to feed the hungry. I really and I'm not trying to be a Smart ass do we really have people going without food in buffalo -- 'cause I'm not aware that if we do. Maybe I'm leading a charmed life for summit but I'm really not aware of it and that's -- that's the general pitch a feed the hungry if you're talking about overseas or some some natural disaster happened and in the food is not readily available things like that I understand but just a general generic feed the hungry campaign. I'm not I I'm not really sure what it is I. Think -- I mean I have to believe that there are something I read recently that there are. Over 1000. Students who attend buffalo schools where homeless. What are. They go home there's no little mom or dad or anybody. Something like then to that effect that they have no place to live more than or -- -- read the whole article. Partisan while when they saw that number just jumped out at me is being. Pretty sad. We know that the schools have started years ago with breakfast for those kids that weren't getting a breakfast at home. Lunch of course is always been served in the schools and now some schools have a dinner. And some schools not not around here I don't think products or read about him fill backpacks of fooled with kids for the weekend. Because the parents are doing it. Personal lives and questions about that what about parental neglect do it. Due to a -- go after those parent you -- just have a -- -- starved -- -- I don't think they're going after are not home but it's just just it's a generic food drive and I was just trying to think of as I said I'm not trying to be a Smart guy. Do we have hunger problem in buffalo now I may sound totally out of touch of your hungry right now. But -- if that if we haven't I'm not aware of we have all kinds of our kitchens. We have all kinds of food pantries we have all kinds of social agencies we have all kinds of food stamps -- at a record high now. So there's all kinds of food available. But there again it's another drive but when you're checking out of the hardware store. And they ask you would you like donated dollar to whatever charity there associated with like that say no. I don't. But I'm not going to be shamed into it I'm gonna give to charities heavily even on -- I'm thirty we are WB yeah. Or hearing the voice of buffalo WBA and that call us now an 8030930. Cell calls are free and -- 930 -- toll free line is 1806169236. -- big -- governor have said to be sure the Wall Street Journal they say the toughest thing to -- is is saying no when people are asking you know. For various things you want to please some. And generally by saying no. It doesn't please them and sometimes you think they're gonna react. In a much stronger fashion and they do or they're gonna think -- have you what do you say yes to every request. Your life will not be your own and so the Wall Street Journal gives ideas on how to saying well how to prepare to say no and what you say no to. And so far the of the guys on the other side of the glass said when you're at a store in your checking out they say would you like to have a donate a dollar -- And then they fill in the blanks. I think we can all agree we we like to pick and choose our own charities and we don't wanna be in a position to say no. They're all good causes basically. And and so you gotta you can't do everything. So you gotta pick and Joe's gonna make choices. Let's go to what Bob and Angola -- -- on WB yen. -- -- and they say no bomb. I have said no many times. -- work how are you call it store in other electricity through their you know and and you had donated dollars that. I think that at this time I think that's good -- that the cadets -- -- -- and I get things in the military you get out of worthy causes. Actually have brought elected get -- at -- -- mentioned. Now that's a writer who just say the word because the. You know you can you -- people have a soft. An easy ordinary life where they're gonna say yes and yeah I hit a soft spot for a lot of charities I will send them on you know monetary fund. But then three weeks later he get this thing you know inquiry. You know it's it is that we want more money we want more money we want from -- I can't do it every -- they send it. And how about the requests for a row of four charitable donation to people that are already on the civic payroll. I don't I don't know why we should have to do that they get paid to do their job. Now all volunteer group is different become like a volunteer fire company or summit that's different yes I contribute to that but why Coca. A group that blow up belongs on the city or county payroll of the state payroll shouldn't be out there are soliciting funds -- what we found out is that the solicitors get more money out of it than they do. Exactly. And then being a person as AM last Social Security that they realize and up from my hand up but anyhow. I I I believe in the -- charity begins at home so I was gonna ask you if you could send me. An hour. -- -- 600 dollars because it's my charity and it's my cherry you know -- mean. You know Bob I'm writing the check now to Bob and Angola and I'm just gonna leave a black I'll sign -- I just feel free to fill in any market like Bob so thank your device at a no I will donate to rule a ball like I donate to a volunteer fire company Wendell OK I have since I've been there that's fine because they're volunteers. But when I get things from the sheriff's association. I mean -- sweep we pay people to do jobs -- -- Why are we why are we asking for a money for something like that and what you find out is a lot of these groups. The fund raisers get more out of it than the people -- supposed to be fund raising for I have -- article about where the money goes. But I didn't bring it in today. I -- spotted that tie in with what we're talking canyon say no do you say no you can't do everything. You really can't. Nobody has that kind of time nobody has that kind of money. Publisher Bill Gates Warren -- of but the bottom line is you have the picture so you have your priority list. I don't like to say no but sometimes you have to. I think any company that encourages their employees to be a Philanthropic that's fine but when they start with the -- taken out of your check. -- maybe not I'll pick my own charity thank you it might be the same as your charity but I wanna pick. I Wanamaker choice and it's to me if if gold fell on my head -- tomorrow. Part of it would go to lose a Roswell park. And part of it would go -- -- -- okay now there are a lot of other good charities that do really good work but we all have. The ones we feel close -- Let's go to. Dave and Spencer report Xavier on WB again. -- handed eyes. There's a few of those out there and one not only to actually know. And a daily basis. And say -- all I need. Any -- I'm gonna go restore it like you just read what what a great tactic -- And I admit that I'd like to donate to this that or whatever I usually say at all. Grover has its you'll have a TARP came into the -- And that can help. And that the puppy dog look yeah there -- two of the looked out a trip. You know why. (%expletive) I'd have to go somewhere at one actual -- to see how they need our. Quote no one -- ownership which they see. It is up there with crap like -- anymore I don't tank for. So you say no to everything you must know my ex wife. -- In the summertime even in the Warner once in awhile I'll -- -- to a small. Village -- town in this area. And the local fire department will be standing at a at a red light at the coroner. Bad eight trap but we will donate to a little bit bigger level. Geez that's that's my -- And their volunteers you know now you know. And you absolutely well -- I'm sure you're picking and choosing wisely and I'm glad that you have the strength as say no thank you Dave. Yeah especially volunteer fire companies they're volunteers. They -- they risk their lives to save our property and our lives and I think there definitely worthy. Blood to as I said when you get something from the sheriff's association whatever I love the sheriff's they got a check. They get health benefits they get paid by who the taxpayers us so why are they solicit wives more funds being solicited. And sometimes you get phone calls to. In -- you know what I hate the Ruble phone calls. If you don't hang out. Enough put enough effort to talk to me you assures Allen -- again reject the Americans -- that right now. Not gonna work not going to work. Aren't we know -- say no Wall Street Journal says. Lot of people don't wanna say no because they think. It -- having -- of them. Or they don't wanna embarrass themselves or whatever so they just say yes or they put off and say not this time but maybe next time and when next time shows up they wish they hadn't said that because next time. Will show up I guarantee you that will be back after not know what it. When's the same know the article is in the wall street journal of people have a very difficult time saying no. Basically I think as I've gone over -- soft spot a spot in my heart for volunteer fire companies -- think they do a good job and deserve consideration. When ever kids come to the door at the neighborhood kids selling something for either a growth stock cookies. Or their sports team or whatever I try even if it's something that's selling but I don't want. A try and I try to do that I think that's that's worthy of it teaches the kids that people can can be yeah. You know friendly to your and generous or whatever so I I like that -- mention Roswell park of course SP CA of course. Salvation Army without a doubt a deserves consideration and then everybody picks their own stuff. Everybody gets their -- and and you're probably going to give. To an organization that you've had some experience where I guarantee you that I don't know if they break it out like this but people who donate the Roswell. Probably have had people that have been treated at Roswell or treated for cancer in general. And one RC Roswell continue their work saying with the SP CA the SP CAR -- was in here this morning. There working hard all the time to find homes for animals and and there are a very worthy cause no question in my mind about it. So you pick your favorites you pick the ones where you think into the most of which can't do mall that's the key you can't do them all. And that some of these charities will try and send you something. To kind of shame me when doing. You know -- may be you know receive -- the little stickers when your name and address on them. It's the same thing while ago ratings companies don't they do they send you -- a dollar bill or five dollar bill. With the information to try and guilt -- -- filling it out. You know the biggest joke is when you get a car. And they send you the follow up. Of high -- like the car now I'm perfectly willing to help but have you seen how long those questionnaires are. Like five pages I don't current and America time. And they usually send you a dollar. So what I do and I take the dollar put in my wallet and shred the rest of the stuff. I've never shred the dollar by accident are Christian or give me a couple more from FaceBook they'll go to via phones again. Misalignment comes from. -- he says it's very easy to say no if I'm dealing with a stranger or someone that I don't know very well by -- very difficult to say so Marty. I Sinorice somebody that's in my -- and it is in your family our neighbor. A very difficult to say no so sometimes you get the benefit of the doubt you say yes simply because you feel better about saying yes -- no. But it shouldn't be guilt. It shouldn't be guilt as you can't do everything that's requested -- yes. This one comes from Susan she says I have learned a sane over the years -- I didn't I'd be throwing money away from drive through to a standard warranties everybody's trying to get -- -- sent out of the union need to -- and to protect yourself that's exactly right I mean how many size of your bottom you know 12995. Article. And they askew if you would like the extended warranty. Got to be kidding me. Oh yeah I'm afraid that twelve cent part is gonna break I gotta have it covered. Let's code to word -- in Niagara Falls and Iran WB yen. Base -- how about. Both jumpers it is about when he went to one of these superstores. Bob. You have. Stay at your cheerleaders out there collect them or -- -- -- cheerleading on you know so you give. And at every turn out of the store. Paper WR and want it to get the gamut but again and -- play ball. And another one of those. Our firefighters got blossomed. When they have their drive is now pot while they're out there -- the boats and are out there particularly one corner and all year military and they're all former. Fourth quarter -- that you go -- one quarter yet hey -- legitimate argument donation. All right grub street art comeback. A different direction and there again don't expect that money with different fire are you don't like open a -- -- gay bar it I dealt away. Guys Psycho went with can't say when they sell the newspaper -- Children's Hospital. I always buy it and that I reported in the windshield -- bit if you go by another person -- can only see that you already done that. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- It's is out for so I think volunteer fire companies deserve our support at least deserve my support I think that the to a good good job and their volunteers. But I can understand if you don't wanna do it shouldn't the feeling guilty. -- look at the danger aspect of it and he mentioned that corner if you're an intersection yet -- got my hip suffered. Yeah and you've got they do it that the a little leagues do it so you know you wanna get somewhere not on my given the dollar. But if I'm in a hurry from trying to get to work or something and you're behind a car that he's fiddling through his money to give his donation but yeah I understand but I have to get somewhere so. It to me I would rather than -- door to door. -- here's money are right that's safe. Have you ever you know as strange as this is. And you know I love my cars I have never stopped at a school car wash. Where they've got people in the corner going car -- today were raising money. And it is a hand car -- is -- -- purchase car and about I've never doubted the government. No I am not -- -- -- again I don't drive many vehicles that -- -- -- I am not a I don't know how long it's gonna take usually when I'm drivers unless Sony gets or go on court that's true god that is true. And don't you wanna help officer -- advocates as best you can't but I've never done that I was just wondering if it's very efficient or if they do a good job because of big into a good job you wouldn't feel. Right going to say hey you miss the spot over there and they. On the fender wouldn't guarantee you are going in this spot if but it was really funny is they have vote cheerleaders -- it usually in their little kids. And they're out there shaking their -- come and ask where raising money for the car wash it -- it's funny to watch. And you need. Is that one here with our Little League in Riverside and held a car -- and the kids were out there doing and they had a blast you have a good time that we have we -- score each other on the -- on average time so basically I think what we've learned today from this article in the Wall Street Journal. Is that you have to be true to yourself if there's a reason. That it you should say no then you should say now. But don't be racked with guilt I think guilt. Kind of drives a lot of our decision making process. Well I don't really wanna do this. But if I don't I'm gonna feel guilty because I didn't know either -- -- don't if you would give you our Google even though it. But I don't do it and then and then beat yourself up if you don't because you wanna be Iraq would go now you know my attitude about temptation. When you're tempted to do something just give in immediately. Because -- given eventually. All of funny economist Sosa. I could be preaching from a full knowledge of I would have a very large congregation of people wanna hear me say things like. I have a movie show is next. I don't think Bob's going to be collecting at the movies show under straighter -- -- WB yeah.