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WBEN NewsRadio 930>Audio & Video on Demand>>4-15 Tom Bauerle Show Hour 4

4-15 Tom Bauerle Show Hour 4

Apr 15, 2014|

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

News radio 930 WBA. And yeah. I walked down upon you with Rory. And -- and if you go to the whole look. Much -- that ends this month -- and welcome to the New York City. If they are big extreme conservatives they have no place in the State of New York. No one -- with an assault rifle. No. And flew. This ball club. Tom hourly. Column in the went to. Now let everybody -- linking it. -- got covered up right welcome. It's live its local capital. Home. Looks like it's huge it's Tom hourly. -- -- -- -- elegant and that anyway it's not attempt to sexson is ready at 930 WB MK. It's the zoo there buddy. It's -- -- with you on the radio on Tuesday. Let's see okay I have another photo from the assault weapon at registration form shredding Ross Thompson is doing. And at this point as we are kind of approaching the end of the program. I am going to ask you to not send me any more photos. Please do not send me any more photos of the one I'm just about to put up will be the final one I will be able to put up because. Oddly enough. As I start too well when I get off the year. I'd be brutally honest with you I have a lot of things I need to take Europe tonight. And I get my employer a very honest and hard day's work every day and the beginning at 7 o'clock the evening will be mine. So while there with -- all due respect. I will ask you not to send any more photos starting now the the registration. Shredding things -- -- now let's go to Friday. And here's the top that I introduced. What our deal breakers in a relationship. I was blown away by the response but. Every now again maybe a half a dozen times every year a call comes in that makes me say. Whoa. And I at least want to give you enough to give you the flavor. Of that phone call. And this guy called them on Friday and should rule let it rip. Here's light in the tunnel under on the WB -- Mike you've got any relationship deal breaker I presume you're talking about the a romantic situation or a friendship situation. Not always say it's -- it's to do with my life and I and I know you're talking about all of our current deal breakers but -- -- deal -- was infidelity I I'd I didn't tolerate it. And dawn -- my wife Islam and the -- twice. I mean in terms of the word terror and national put up with and I don't know why -- Not because I can't get anybody else has learned there at that this may be surprised what -- can -- career and you know we talk about it and stopping ships in mid Atlantic. Both Carter and instigated again. Mike. Mike. Mike the courage that you're exhibiting just by calling my show is that and I'm honored that you that you trust me enough to even cheer this kind of stuff with me. I want to give you more time but can -- get the traffic done in the wanna talk to more. All right Mike -- hang in there don't go anywhere. But let me get -- -- let let me get back to my -- want to know Mike de -- have been married -- curiosity. Our nine year I've known. Are my wife horror. I'm between one year before that. -- is the world really calls aren't. I never heard it she can either it be that I -- that she wasn't married before me this is mark Hertzberg isn't fair fraction. OK but she says it. She's cheated on you mom. With two different guys or with the same guy in two different occasions. Also the same thing man. Just let me just twice and are we talking about two nights of -- are we talking about two separate spheres with multiple incidents. On you know god -- separate night on bald facts that penalizes. It's a partner -- so it's not like I don't know coordinate. You know the history eating infected and and his wife got a divorce because they -- each other so it was so ironic that it it would like. I didn't mean -- -- ironic I know you hate that word. I don't know iconic -- when I don't like. All it is ironic I'm rather fond of that. The -- but I do Laverne and we have that we have a child the governor and and under what you know or an act it's you know a lot of my friends -- mostly everybody salute salute error. But hey it's not that easy might it be you know if anybody's got experience what this before it's not that you just can't. You know -- I don't know maybe go to counseling or something maybe. Well -- and you want it okay we're okay. I hope you don't mind my asking questions now before I get into this you know that I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist or counselor right I'm just the guy. And I know people. Our Larry I don't wanna play something that I'm not on the radio. You've been married for nine years how long after he got married was it before she the slept with this guy for the first time. Just when that what an effort on. OK and that she did it again. And she did it again and I probably weren't a problem now if I. Didn't -- around that's the important thing right. Because some people usually they are now. Or something more inquisitive. And ask around and stop and it just it was basically. Doing -- In speak -- -- at war I felt a lot better to people like us. Well -- I'm a tough act to follow Mike I have to be honest -- but. I'm Mike sorry for the guys the next rumor laughing. And their two guys loading guns anyway but what I was gonna say is -- I need to talk to you further about there's sure that is gonna have to be after the the play button. I I wanna know if you -- this guy. If you -- this guy what would you do. Why would you do -- I think most people would say. Bad sexual infidelity. Is a deal breaker right you're -- here's the problem. He loves her she says that she loves. Her husband the guy whose voice super. However as you'll hear. I also happen to think that she's got feelings for the other guys. I think she's kind of middle on this whole thing is well. And a lot -- calls 803093. Is the phone number what would your advice for this guy B 80330. Start -- thirty and 180616. WBT. And let's just little more background information from the call. -- let me get back to Mike in -- now Michael -- been married to a woman for nine years -- -- for 21 years. Andy you found out that she cheated on you were she admitted to cheating and you. Twice with the same guy in the last after years correct. Do you believe. That number one -- he is the first and number two that it really only did you start. I actually I do believe he is prefer. And that's our problem interpret conservative Republicans aren't marketed it got away from him. Yeah I think the most important thing your numbers and other items Wal-Mart are right this so they were my wife. And dom that's how much I walked. And and I won't get hurt you got their forgiveness because -- bureau -- I'm wrong you're not gonna have marched. And I I think it's a shame that it what they want to horror that -- and it wasn't anything with Anthony's the with my wife or anything like that. It's just it was warm and I think art file that. I would get a band of or why kindness. And in my nicely. And I've done everything -- book to bill. And done it's it just happened and Il I'll guarantee I'd never quite -- over this incident I didn't. And I know one thing did it in the future if that ever happen again because that you can only put up on what's stopped. If if that ever happen again I will never date again I will become elbit and I will see about myself because you know what. Are you can't keep going through this you know emotionally I don't think you know there's something there but. Well you know -- Every every day I and the show with two words and some people get mystified. You know by by the words are used in their very simple words no yourself those -- the two were. Now the the woman your wife. Did you guys talk about this kind of stuff before. You got married I mean did you have real genuine sincere heart to hearts about a the fact that you expected absolute one on one monogamy. You know including. I mean up to and including intercourse or anything between French kissing too you know what do you know what all the way to intercourse. But did you have explicit conversations about that. Sure there. I think that would put writing he could get more unusual we gave each other our proud because bomb you know we have two different guy. And my god and oh god. But they're not the same you know all in and got all forgiving. And dom is it you know for Clinton -- do something like that they think they're gonna be forgiven if not -- mediated by someone else. -- Mike here's here's my concern and again -- I should do the disclaimer that I have no special training in this other ban I know people and I'm generally pretty good with relationships even though my owner for and train wrecks. I'm just ahead. But. -- here's the thing. I would suggest a year. And you're not collective years. That. Your wife it's more than a sexual attraction. That your wife -- for this guy who was your friend okay. Com. Because. Most women. And all the most women were -- Be with somebody like that. They need to feel at least some kind of an emotional connection. Unless it's high school reunion and it really -- in the band in the limo are really big and things take a turn. Not that that excuses but. It sounds to me like we're not just talking about somebody who. You know had sex with this other guy. But I think she may have feelings for this other guy if you talked about this and we -- -- That up on the other side of that traffic -- news radio 930 WB almost replying I cannot replace the entire caller I'd be done for the day and as much as I enjoyed Malaga then. I'd rather talk to you guys negate your advice on this because I'm sure some of you didn't hear some new bin in the situation on one end or the other. There are 8030930. Is the phone numbers start on thirty on the cell phone 180616. WB EEN. And -- get a quick Q whether -- -- call tonight eighteen degrees might even be in the low the old what was twenty degrees set back in 1928. Tonight I'm sorry tomorrow 41 will be the high mostly cloudy we might see a glimpse of whatever that thing is that gives off late in the sky that we oversee. And then Thursday as -- to. Partly cloudy milder in the afternoon 58. It's 31 degrees and gang you know -- to be alarmist but 31. Freezing is 32. So look out for black ice and slick spots on the drive all the one's in Iraq up I mean not April 15 exactly and -- -- an accident on ice. Okay let me just -- few more minutes of this phone call -- that we're getting the flavor. As it were -- where this guy is where his marriages. And you're advice and you've been in this situation. -- I mean not bear watching I mean there in a similar situation. 803 all right thirty Arturo. Yes she did actually he that they had feelings on -- him. Many many many many years -- you know and everybody moved on in her life and you know we did our own things up and I think it was more opportunity to turn it brings. Rotation X it is he an ex boyfriend to her. So. Right now. What is your wife mom. Terry could you talk about forgiveness and -- this is very noble thing. But. By your wife mean again. I'm not telling you anything you don't know. But I don't think your wife has an on off switch. For it with respect her emotional feelings for this other guy it's not something she can say cut off I no longer have feelings for him. There's something about this other guy. That use. Attractive to and it doesn't mean. That she doesn't love you do you get the sense you know that she loves you. Yeah he told me all the time and cheer for my forgiveness. And it's not a apocalyptic is it like that I couldn't start and an -- nothing in the -- that I think that I conflict it long and I am not gonna -- wanna be myself -- And I in my emotionally -- not is that not what irked because of quite get that I I would lose my my mind. You say the guy is a friend and I mean an end. The chance to -- the -- about it. I get -- actually he doesn't wanna talk to you anymore or. Weird because that's all being these things that setting and if there and. Well number one here's to -- that the alarm for me because as well number one he's embarrassed because he knows that he -- view as a friend okay. Number two what I suspect and I hope I'm wrong but something I think you need to keep your eyes open -- is that it may still be going on. I think that he is jealous of the fact that. She is your wife and should he will not leave you for him I think she I think he loves ever. And I think it's difficult for him to talk you. Because you know it just think about something weird you're the other guy to him OK that's a great place to end it. All right folks what do you tell this guy. What do you tell this guy. I wanna know do you think this is a salvageable situation. Do you think this guy is whipped. I'll tell you what I said. It's gonna have to wait but I hear what you have to say about talk too much to my voices or 803 on my third. Start at thirty on the cell phone 180616. WB -- end. What would you tell this should get out. You think they can make it work. Or should they have shall we say and our range moment. Not that that's ever been done before the clintons on WB. I think this is kind of -- break up song made. I don't know it could be wrong 634 and is ready at 930 WBBM. Our -- call all of. -- Friday I don't feel like going and all the details thank you know by now. Dude did has his wife admit that she has slept with a friend of bears. At least twice. I think that she's got feelings for him but I think he's got feelings for -- I don't think she wants to leave her husband I think she wants the ball I think she wants the best of both worlds. What is your advice to him. I know what my advice is what is yours adultery all right thirty start at 3180616. WB -- end all right Lotta people like China and on this. Everybody's an armchair analysts including your humble host Arizona Carolina should talk what Caroline thanks for -- and -- what do you think. 187. And a half inches of -- Caroline on the topic. Did I hear him say that they dated 21 years. He said that he had known her for 21 years she'd been previously merit. Arcades then no comment IE well what no -- If he'd known there between -- years married -- A pattern that somewhere in there somewhere before they can marry. Well apparently both his friend and his wife -- her work in marriages that ended because of infidelity. -- And that's said thanked them. -- -- all those things recovered in the phone call parent it was a waste my time 8030930. Here is Mike in church real IWB Ian hi. Might get better than you have what my call screener says is correct what's up. Are part of their situation and -- it -- -- -- element as. It's not -- that in that situation or carpet I was there. I for and decade this on the part of -- because of access situation that all they can't get over an -- get married. You know it's not going to be over lawyer or solve this situation says that you get out and it -- -- -- out here's let me let me over the counter argument because that would be my first intuitive response. He's the guy called me says he loves his wife he is of the belief that his wife loves -- She has asked for his forgiveness. And heat well. So far what effect. I don't watch champ -- or. Not. So not very ecology the opposite sort brought. OK you know forget -- wants but you know what you do. Caught -- brought here. Right now what what. If we look I don't wanna get too personal impact I gave up a lot of information of his own volition and free will calling the shell I don't know how deep you wanna go into what you experienced but. Feel for. All -- their -- up. Forgive forgive and forget it and what you know what -- -- -- you're at a low and it was individual. Series start and it'll. After awhile like you know what. Particularly after awhile it's just probably a situation where I'm not gonna go away you have juries are go away. And the situation back to relate to. I have to collect. Okay now all -- that when you're talking with your wife at the time. I did she ever tell you. Hey look -- You know Mike I love you. I have feelings for this other guy can you just let me work this thing out myself can you give me a few months just to work it out. Yeah for that first Erica. Does that -- that like job. What are. -- you guys are right are you in -- situation now worse and that's why we work. In that situation and order. Is that what eventually. -- is that what eventually happened. -- Did she end up with the other guy. She did not. Oh wow that's interest any idea what half a receipt the curiosity part of me wants to know what happened it between the two of those big between those two. Because at one point he was important enough to her to wanna get rid of you. Then when she was free apparently they couldn't work it out amongst themselves. Correct I think it was outlawed those job. All sweetheart like things. Our you know our porch pictures lol what are the -- sweetheart. Austrian art flying and it misunderstood -- and not all that so situation that we're trying to work out -- what -- That understand what happened but. You know AJ do report side out of it because that was gonna get better and but bill. Very interest in as far as now. Mike are you saying gold did you swear off women did you swear -- marriage dating. I myself they are -- could shore up what autism has partners. -- also received. For the right person that I guess but not planned it better understand exactly where they're colorful orbit. Or they -- adult. For a job in that situation. -- -- -- things Mike and I don't know if this makes any sense to you and I and I hope you'll tell me whether or an out of there as I am a very very firm belief. That most marriages that do not and it successfully that end in divorce that and Ian infidelity. The reason that happens is because the two people involved are not truly. Honest we're genuine about what they really want out of their lives and how they genuinely want to live. -- lives you know they might say hey there's you and there's only you for the rest of my life but in the background -- thinking. I what -- that's really possible. Yes -- -- ring of some barrels. That's right that's I always say know yourself know yourself that's why -- keep saying that every show. All right Michael. Currently you bottled water how's that. All right but it I'm glad you called thank you. Yeah and called to a guy I know it takes courage to call them on the topic like this this is the call everybody wanted to talk about with me over the weekend people I know acquaintances friends. They all wanted to talk about the guy who called in -- my show on Friday. It will three all right thirty start I'm 3180616. WB the end. What injured vice director I'd be have you been in a similar situation was it salvage a bull. Here is Tony in that Albion on WB Antonio what do you make you this. I think basically a lot of all there's been more than not just to what's that that's for sure. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- What do you mean what what can I tell by the way the guys talking. Order a result of -- and he gets solid that anxiety that is you know -- -- also with a with a place here we -- they get heat itself but I'd be Smart person walked away. You know. It's interesting Tony because I listen to people's voices all the time and I'm pretty good at detecting when people are stressed out and I honestly think that he seemed really rather. A matter of fact about it there was no time during the conversation what I thought he was close to tears or close to losing yet. He seemed to me under the circumstances. To be very balanced and that rational but you've got a different sense. Yes but he is he might -- that he's through so much that. These credit where it's that well you know the economy the only thing in -- a passport my marriage is telling him. We've been married for nine years -- -- together you know gone -- on. But he was Smart. There's quite a bit commit suicide you know get custody of the child and walk away. Now that you promiscuity is no guarantee of of custody in situations like that by the way especially in New York start. Let you know here I I agree with you by the way Tony I agree with you I think that there has been -- I have no basis for saying there's other than a hunch. And other than knowledge of the way human beings operate but I believe that it's been more than twice I think it's been an ongoing thing. And I do believe the reason his friend a so called doesn't wanna talk with him is because I think he feels guilty. I also think that it is still going on. End remember to this guy. Her husband is the other guy -- if that is an irony I don't know what it's. Exactly now -- -- the same thing it's probably my apps and -- swap where it's about I don't know sisters. Circumstances -- with your late but at the -- and torture at a time locked away it's a video well. Easy to say what. Well you know what it's a Tuesday because we could we could go back and forth there's. But. -- OK now. At the end of the phone call witnessed I wanna. I don't know if you heard the entire phone call but I wanna put this out here because I still have one more segment after this at 803 all night thirty. He is open to the idea of and arrangements. In quotes whip her work as long as she was off -- They're good. Where if she was honest about where she was going to win she was going to deal with them and what they were doing and he was a lot of the same latitude it. That he could deal with bat. It would it wasn't the sex as much as it was the dishonesty and the sneaking around. Yep and I get the Burkle that she should be serving -- you know what I'm science. Well I didn't ask about their intimacy he brought it -- be said there wasn't an issue of intimacy between himself and his wife. But he's still he's still from the heart -- don't look at itself from the heart you know he wants everything to work out well now. Aged married for life you know what I mean the -- severe for fifty years and -- artists like you know -- -- -- you know you know a lot of guys. The many of those start -- I'd start with that yes start without a doubt them that they are way off. Amazing you know how things work -- -- -- -- article prepping to -- gulf war. Very interest. I appreciate your call Tony I thank you we'll see with some other people had to say. You -- -- this is this a real heart felt that -- seek to me it wouldn't be so much the sex it would be the sticking around. But I'm unconventional and -- that -- I'm totally unconventional what comes of that stuff soul. I am one extreme. The sex isn't the issue it's the dishonesty that's the issue. But I say that understanding that I'm way out here on that subject if you don't you know that this is not exactly breaking news. You know three all right thirty start -- 3180616. WB EN I think that he loves her. And I don't think that in her own way she loves him. But I do believe she's got strong feelings for the other guy that she needs to admit to having. And our this is you know the eternal triangle. And if he's willing to deal with basically share her might be the best he's gonna get if he really does it if he can deal at that situation. Most people. Most people just are constituted that. They don't thrilled by thirty start I 3180616. WB EM I mean I get jealous when Joseph we've talked to John Sherman and -- -- now that's weird. All right I was so what I was so busy looking at my email. End up by the way gang up please do not send me any more pictures of our -- Thompson's shredding event downtown it's not that I don't appreciate the input. But honestly. When I get -- the year today I will not be checking back in the my email account at work so you're better off are contacting -- directly. Got a lot of things and he'd take here tonight and I have given my employer my solid eight hour day and after that I need some time for myself tonight and I that's just honestly folks. 03 all right thirty start -- 3180616. WB and let's go to. Grand Island and that capped a WB and cat hello. -- -- You're. I like her partner. And ally here -- when a bigger. And I like it. Or -- beat you. Say it. She got married and I feel like skiing. That's why it's probably not apparently get out -- amber our end that they what I ended. And you're not in being -- art is art and elation. And by -- yet and that other guy. She got Al we have. You know that's that's see that's that's I'm thinking too because. Cat I think -- in a way she still loves her husband but I think her passion. Is for the other guy. But if she really wanted out of the marriage there is ample opportunity. Is to have a long heart to heart and -- sweetheart. This just isn't gonna work force. I think -- they'd already be you know the process of may be mediating a friendly divorce. He says -- Our facts it is ready to get up or act in their opinion and -- let somebody. And you don't want and it's out there and I. And having a -- until Brad but I'll have a Monday. Appealing already -- like I don't like and wait for -- early you know what what he -- her. That okay let me -- let me interrupt you because you know your your Smart lady and I think we're kind of on the same wave -- here. Could it also be that may be the whole idea of each of them both the cheating wife. And these so called friend both of them are rather intrigued by forbidden fruit that which they know they can't really had. Isn't that are on the big -- -- -- You're really talking to the wrong guy here -- I'm single and centrists. I don't have anybody -- answer through. Or a movie -- some people are gonna I. They -- it somebody. You. I enter a -- to Italy it. And then when you get out about it completely out all crap I have and I need to yeah. Ability her then -- help bill then and -- act act not opt out all. But see that's you know the kid thing now they've been married for nine years and there's a fifteen year old kid in the mix value that I can both -- map I presume that they had a child before they were buried at -- -- presumption on my part. But the kid is fifteen years old. And what I'm thinking here is may be in the best interest of the kid it. Would be to that if it's like they're having these knocked down all flights at least that doesn't sound that way. I kind of wondered if maybe they can have a quote unquote arrangement. Until the kid is often college in them. They split up and go their separate ways if in fact that's the determination they each make -- -- is right prevent. -- seen I I actually I get married men and it works out I have a hard time. Husband was. I have a heart friendly and a husband would be able but they get through that at any island with an arrangement. Now the arrangement it -- -- arrangements. Can only work if both part orders. I think you have to address it before. You even think about getting married. It can't be an Expos facto thing like hey you're just caught me sleeping with your best friend honey let's work out an arrangement you know it's got to be a mutual. And I and I mean -- hard and I don't think he beat. Up too much and why are -- well. I -- and by -- and element RY mean. A little bit of everything is you know everything didn't find and are confident. And see our air at a friend -- -- I act like that the one and it could be playing but expect it -- that one and it's an armada area I'm. There's something more. I I agree with you but I thought frankly I was rather astute in -- picking that up a brief conversation with him. But my main concern is with that caller. And frankly with his wife. I just hope that they can work things out in -- peace -- and as -- free. A manner as possible in less than enviable. Circumstances. And that I have more say about this on my FaceBook page Richard gonna have to scroll down a little bit because even in. I believe it or not even among -- talk about this on the year even among people who call themselves swingers. There are certain understandings and rolls that are followed it's not just a free for all. Two people were gonna do that they've got to have an understanding of trust between the two of them. Because of one of them goes off without the other one's permission that's an issue just like it is for normal people. That's a normal. Hey I gotta go thank you. You know folks somewhere we got it is something we got to spend more time in this kind of stuff this is to be the human condition fascinates me it always has a lot of -- beaver. -- great work today John Sherman -- the job. This is -- -- one more time saying with feeling no yourself.

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