News radio 930 WD -- And you would rate. For. India hold to -- the few months ago when you were asked what's the biggest geopolitical threat facing America's -- of Russia but al-Qaeda that Russia. In the 1980s are now calling asked for the foreign policy back. Wherever and whenever I can take up without legislation to expand opportunity for more American families that's what I'm gonna do when that happened to. Gary -- Destroy all silent. That was an American. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- And I like Q. You have close. I'd like loaded. I guess it is ten minutes after five hourly news radio 930 WBE. And beamer master control John Sherman called trader and that is from -- is part of your life you're driving home from work and you look to us work summit entertainment and information along the way. Today we are were in serious mode bit and I'm not talking about the apparent radio companies -- SE RIA. -- US -- Talking about addiction. Now. Few months ago. I -- show a fall for our show. On the heroine a scroll or did you not just Western New York but around the country. Yesterday I explain some reasons why -- has made a comeback. One of the biggest culprits is Uncle -- your own government. I'm not gonna explain that again you can go to or audio vault listening yesterday show. I -- it was a 6 o'clock hour and get yourself a little education on the dark underbelly of the United States. Today. We're branching out into. All. Addictions because go to find out from you guys. Which addiction has most closely. Affected your family. And you know -- find interest in before I get the more phone calls will be distributed phone number at 80309. There. 8030930. Start at thirty on the cell phone 180616. WBE EN. What I find interesting is bad as we talk about the last call for example was heroin. Have we even had a single call in the addiction shows we've done about alcohol. Have we had one person calling and try to get on the air to talk about boots. Which is the most addictive. Where the most addicted to a substance in the United States even more so than heroin. I find that interest. My previous caller also brought up shopping addiction. There are people who are addicted to shopping. Hopefully you're not married don't want it -- it 030930. Is the phone number no let's get right back to the calls through its cabin in the buffalo Kevin. I do appreciate your input it into the show what you want talk about it. -- wrought iron rule -- it's an addiction. But I I know that I have a tendency. To -- to stroke. In our body -- -- alcoholic because it does seem like they're going good. You know this summit -- time -- like. Things are going heard. I always -- -- -- all -- ruin it like it is not colonel it's an addiction but it's -- a tendency. Well you know yourself better than I do -- a little bit about yourself and why you think that you had this tendency towards self destructive behavior. Why why you submarine yourself. Because you know what you realize that a lot of people Kevin. I just have to tell you a lot of people do the same thing they're just not Smart enough to realize that the ruining their own lives and it's almost like they have this in her death wish. Talked to me more about you. -- -- -- Well I won't allow myself to be happy and -- immaculate come on the verge of being happier about to happen. That's when you run to boost. Yet it's like well and -- -- and mom didn't make what you know mistakes like. Saying the wrong thing the wrong person. Correct -- career out of that but is far is. Are you still in your twenties Kevin. 33. 35 you married. On have you. Grow my entire life and I got drunken master he wouldn't marry you didn't warn you it is -- When they convert -- -- good so distraught. It's it's like Bill Clinton. If you had to give me your best guess on why you behave that way. What would it -- You know. -- -- -- -- -- Maybe you're just sheer. Really be happy. Are you look exist well it's a little slick. This really if you're really being happy I don't know. You know what it's what you're talking about is not unusual. Some people describe it as a fear of success. Some people describe it as you just did a fear of being happy. And then you basically asked the ultimate question humanity has been asking itself since it started walking upright what is happiness. And what makes somebody happy. And of course the answer is gonna differ depending on the individual. Involved what have you found in life that does make you happy. If you know or maybe it might be the -- or being unhappy -- -- you know your -- so maybe yes maybe. -- stroke or being unhappy is. It. In other words if I'm hearing you correctly. It's almost like being a victim of the addiction to a tendency to self destruction -- is almost part of your identity. Yeah. OK I have to be honest with -- Not being a doctor a psychiatrist. Or licensed mental health person. Up -- I think I think the best -- poor. Or your computer you okay. Yeah yeah are you laugh okay. I honestly think Kevin. That this is so specialized. That I really think Jim access to a doctor. -- gag order -- Were you in combat. No no I got out right before on genuinely news stories and. I would I would believe anything believing. I really think have you have you brought this up with your doctor had viewed do you have a counselor do you have a shrink do you have a psychiatrist or psychologist. Somebody with whom you can talk to who isn't just gonna give your script and say Beau Biden. Yes yes I'm doing I'll -- your name on here with there's this really good. People here. Yeah yeah I don't want names but have you found that any relief or benefit. From my talk therapy. Daria without a doubt -- That's. My number one therapy it is. Talking to people like that without a doubt. How often do you go. How often are you able to sit down with your therapist. And have a half hour to an hour to talk. Actually. One hour every tune on your lap you just do that if you're not being prescribed medication you're only allowed one hour every two months. -- that's not enough I'm not an expert but one hour every two months given the heavy baggage you're carrying. You ought to be at this point -- in your mid thirties. Again I'm a layman I think once every week is not out of the question or once every two weeks is certainly. -- that's I -- if I were in you're position if I were in your shoes. I would wanna see somebody wants a -- for an hour work until I started seeing some light at the end of the tunnel to access to other doctors outside of the VA. With whom you could have this talk therapy. I'm sure that if -- ever actually got a chance to sit down and thought somebody there who view and do you have put. Not as far as they're walking in -- you know so Erica. You know doctors' offices and you know they have you know the Buick copies per -- want to record would have been better if I ever met somebody and I'm sure they'll be wounded to a. Well there are -- mean look we have on in this area there's a lot of psychiatrists. And there's a lot of psychologists. A psychiatrist can prescribe Mets now. Here's the problem with a lot not all but a lot of psychiatrists. Are all about the scripts they're all about the Mets they couldn't care less about talk therapy as long as they give you a script to stabilize -- chemically they believed they'd done their job. I don't think that's their job they do. They know their job I'm sure better than -- a psychologist is somebody who more than likely is gonna give you at the fifteen minutes to an hour of conversation. May I suggests. Server. That you do whatever you have to do to talk to somebody once a week right now. And focus on this particular issue that you have. Of this fear of being happy where this fear of success. There yeah that's sorted it that's it it's being. It's is is the struggle like it on on the when you're on the verge of happiness. When you go back to the struggle and it's something you're familiar with -- -- Separated you're more familiar with struggling. And being happy and that's -- -- do -- stop disrupt. Well I think blocked again please understand my limitations. I can talk to people about addictions. I can talk to you about what you're going through but I think the single best thing I can do for you. Is to encourage you to see somebody wants a weak right now. And focus on this particular issue and start getting some answers from somebody who's experienced people who've been through this exact situation before with patients or clients. Yeah yeah I think everybody -- absolutely right. He everybody is more familiar with being unhappy and some sense you -- him like everybody -- Everybody won't look life is not a bowl a cherries and never has been and it never will be. But if you can take this at this point it's up to me like you're taking an ice cream sundae and are pouring you're and a now that's an issue of I mean that's an issue you know out of talking about right. Yeah you've got to get away from that I'm not qualified to give you directions on how to do that. But the best I can tell you is please try to see somebody once a week or at least once every two weeks. Find somebody with -- you're comfortable. Oh our brother hang in there and a semi emailed out again -- you're doing okay I'm sorry guys. I was not expecting this kind of a call but I hope that you derive some benefit from it from somebody who is qualified. And I I actually -- -- OK yes -- all -- -- -- on FaceBook friends. -- Kevin remember that everybody can read what's on FaceBook and I turned -- I turned off my private message thing because it is it's too much is one thing to be accessible to another thing to be too accessible. Thanks for much of ledger called and that the best to you. What is your addiction. Which addiction as most closely touched your family I hadn't heard that one before stated in quite that way I'd have to be brutally honest I've heard about it fear of success I've never heard about constantly submarine in your own happiness many of us do it in particular areas of our lives. Let's go to Allen Harris right now of an update on traffic. Yeah by the way Hopkins is the street that can't decide what it is is it Hopkins is it Evans is it garrison is worried what exactly is it. All right anyway little aside there for people who live in the village does that job I mean -- Hopkins Evans garrison like did you just decide in the name. Char didn't -- and partly cloudy tonight the overnight low 29 we still have 42 degrees that news radio 930 WBD end. So anyway just to pick up my thought that's the best I can do with that last caller. It is not unusual and you might know people. Who consistently submarine for example in relationships. Their own happiness. They. Persist in behaviors. Which destroyed. And relationship they have that might actually be good for him. I know people like that you know people like that. But I've never heard of somebody who does it across the board but then again that's not what I do for a -- Then again and and radio were expected to fail here's -- in buffalo on WB Ian Tory thanks for the call what addiction is that you closed as the home. My addiction. It while it can't hurt nobody at the all time. I wanted to let you now about. How look at over com. There an addiction and their years. Balance here and execute. -- Okay and valid theory is what I am feeling. That -- -- -- -- chairman becoming an addiction. Golf OK this is excellent. I have to break the 24. But you have brought up such an important thing I don't even think you realize how important it is our right. Because the addictive personality. Goes with tendencies to addiction can become addicted to anything even. Beneficent it's so don't go anywhere this will be a great call coming up. What addiction has most closely touched you or your family shopping cell phones sex booze heroin Coke -- name. People get addicted to. And news -- 930 WBE and its hourly gratified by the way that you guys feel comfortable enough with -- this year -- personal stuff. That means a lot. 534. At news radio 930 WB EM. It is hourly on the radio it's already mid week. And what it says it. I'm sorry I like an ad I apologized. To weakness I have any -- -- talking camel toe -- and it. At our Campbell but well -- Campbell's ball nevermind anyway we're talking about addiction dignity and to what. Argue that let me rephrase -- question in a way that actually makes cents which addiction. Has most closely touched you. And your family. You're one. Drugs in general alcohol as a specific drug shopping technology. You know -- thing you can -- Can be a problem when it begins to override other areas of your life. You know that's what makes it all experts agree that's what you don't have a problem. When that one aspect of your life starts dictating. Other aspects of your life. Even if what you're doing is a pop it. Something to ponder. I -- at Torrey who. Are just a phenomenal point I mean I she called and I respect myself. All my gosh this is gonna be a great call. Because earlier today if you work listen. I suggested the people -- like one of my callers earlier and the guy called in late yesterday. It's sometimes to get out of the house to regiment your life as they volunteers. Can enrich your life at the same -- -- -- help out worthwhile organization. You can build up some real personal pluggable friends instead of cyber FaceBook friends pay any thing you need I'm there. Now. Just don't call me at 3 AM. -- Torre has become addicted to. Volunteering. -- I know there's more to this story you wanna start at the beginning is -- concisely as possible and I know you have the requisite verbal skills to make his interest and. Our site it totally. Smart but. Mean I don't hear it -- out right. Now. You speakerphone on. -- Are you drive and -- Are you had just take take off that set because -- -- good they had said as it's never going to be as good as your mouth. Can -- eat out much better. Okay. I became addicted to -- hearing will overcome other issues that I was horrible. In the bank on that announcement late 2000. So all if you've been having other issues I presume. That you either have had or currently have or both. Somebody with whom you can speak about -- who's a professional. Ultimately so it and it and it is a contents. That they can but it does protect my life to protect human life and the facts. My life with my friend but I have new friends. You know and it's just. If you'd get into the mode. Now and actually what I'm doing. And you wanna do more and more and it and it tries you guys use crazy. Well it's somewhat akin to caregiver syndrome. -- and a loose way and you've got this. Might might read -- you use you have this need to serve other people you had this need to help other people and in turn it fulfills your need to get you away from whatever your other addiction wars so it is a symbiotic situation. You derive something from that the organizations. Derive something from. Now given the fact that that is your personality type is that something you can live with happily. IQ what that he actually but I don't think my aliens would be within happily I mean. Because like great now I've put out a Stanley vacation. Because. Of what I'm doing. And it upset my mom sent an upset -- family member and. -- All right now what does your doctor or therapist say about. The idea of volunteering addiction is interfering with what should be your primary supportive relationship I eat your marriage your husband. -- actually told me that they actually fitted into making me trying to why am. Wearing need to go all and what I wanted to help. You've been doing this for how many years this volunteering addiction almost. Six years. Hit it -- be heard the concept on entry a burnout. I've heard a burnout. And sometimes I feel bad but standings. I overcome that it's like I can't party now I don't wanna burn out I need to keep going and it's not like -- mission now. Look like something I need to complete. It's like people who do run marathons is like people who got to run five miles a -- -- they just don't feel. I wish I want and running five miles -- day. You know. But it's a -- it's akin to that you're volunteering. Plays the same role in your life and I feel about yourself as exercise does to other people. And on a less helping out as drugs do for other people. Now. Your husband -- have you had any long heart to hearts with him about the Stanley vacation. And what you can do so he feels satisfied because. I got to play Torre if he feels is only as an adult life anymore. From. Big world out there there's a lot of strange to be yet. Iron under and then killed and -- woman I think that the last time he does understand that. In that area well and he now but. Little things count me that he's not happy. You know that I thought our vacation that I keep term while you don't want sanctions guns and you can plan our baking. But you know that that's specious argument because it's never done. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Accurate one times on the Internet and Tina and arm them light and now. I don't feel that way. And there you know I mean perhaps in our marriage are well you. You're getting your -- that aren't as worried about your husband because he's the guy who wanted to go -- with his beautiful wife -- a wonderful vacation and his wife basically made a decision between volunteering and your husband and she chose volunteering as a guy. I don't play I would feel a little emasculated by debt and I might be tempted to -- else were. All you know I would hope that he didn't do that that he understood that what I'm going -- -- good cottage. -- now and then it's something that is driving me and keeping me happy. Yeah because I wasn't happy before I knew Brad would you rather have people are strong arm at a ballpark. Well what you're looking for is balance and it's not just you remember you're part of -- mirror at your part of a relationship you're part of a team. And read it yet and and a family right and I guess my point simply is and I I have to ask you this question what was so important. About this particular volunteering week that you were going to go on vacation that you had to put it off. Wallet because it's an obligation and -- it one -- connection somebody. That you're gonna pay an arm -- you know you'd have to tell that if you don't cultural. Venues you're not going to be happy. What would have been wrong with you or telling the person in charge of volunteering wherever you volunteer you know what. I put a lot of hours over the wintertime. I need to spend some quality time with my husband he deserves more -- -- we need to get away for 10 days I am a volunteer I'm not a staff member says somebody else is gonna have to fill my issues while I'm gone. Why could that not have been done. I don't know maybe acting and nobody else can use that. Or maybe nobody else really -- chair -- where if we would he had a team now that somebody else could step then. And take all of our but I found myself in a position where. I couldn't. Just leave this person hanging. And not hit somebody replace me and just take out on vacation they allow. But vacations don't just happen overnight Alicia travel -- they just don't happen overnight I mean vacation you start planning them a couple of months in advance certainly plenty of time to get somebody noticed that your shoes you're gonna have to be field. Yeah I think I I trying to -- but it did it just didn't work out and you know I explained it to my hand and that. You know it's not going to be at the time and then I have to finish own. All he was OK -- that Indonesia as well basically that he has -- at the same time he had to have -- fun to go to Vegas I'm gonna Davis. Sweetheart. Please listen to your buddy Tom I know man. When a man says well maybe I'll just go to Vegas. Street art. I love you -- want emerged to succeed you have to realize. Your volunteer. The most important commitment you have made in your life if you made a long time before you started volunteering. And it was your marriage. And if your husband says the stars talk about Vegas without you. Debt is a red flag you gotta you gotta lay off I'm sorry I -- out of doctor talk to doctor but this. You've got to lay off volunteering and give this man give this man some of the time you're giving to a volunteer cost because you're gonna. Like you are absolutely right about that but Campbell in the pagan -- means that he is going to -- -- with my daughter and my other shot. Feel like you know that he's gonna go to Vegas be it but not a woman. It's just set I know they've seen that -- to what I'm doing. But he needs something different now you know in the and it comes -- -- Pontiac in your arm or wherever that might -- you know. You know it's like you all have to find your interest -- that. And what people need to do you know I'm now looking at it says. The man -- the woman are on the fear that he's gonna cheat and look my -- My my thing and -- it doesn't -- My relationship with my kids with my husband because they don't agree with everything that I do anything and I get too much on my -- way. They're never gonna agree OK look there -- your family's ever agree with everything you do your husband is never gonna agree with everything you do. You know I got to play this up then you should take your lucky stars. That your husband. Wants to go on vacation with you after all these years he wants to have quality romantic time which you after all these years please take it from me. I'm I'm not. Again I'm not a doctor I'll I'll do the usual disclaimer. But please give this man a week or two of your on divided attention that is more important than any thing for which we're going to volunteer because if you wind up going through a divorce you're not going to be of any use to yourself your kids or anybody. Why -- 31 -- 31 year in April 15 that we got married. And and there are women out there were divorced who wish they were in your position that a man. Still love them so much they wanted to go at them. -- Priorities my dear. My -- everything everything in moderation. And again I'm not a mental health professional but I know people. And I bet that's my suggestion I won't make as a friend that is an expert. And fantastic and I will -- with a comment on your FaceBook page about it. Then we'll know who you are that's okay because everybody is listening right now pretty much now I am anyway. Are locked away. -- -- -- okay thank you look I appreciate your honesty I I'm gratified that you guys again feel comfortable enough this year the intimate stuff with me. And I'm I'm really I'm. Comfortable with myself now because I've learned overcome. What was he really. What was really -- me my index iron but I found wanting to hope for a leg. And even though aren't cheering and and that can change. It's making me buy a car that. Make you need to reach for that call and I am looking for. And everything you said is true but being that you've been married for 31 years you are incorporated with another person you're wonderful husband. And he has got to be your number one priority as you must be his number one for. Says the guy was married for four -- okay thank you very much and glad I'm happy to hear from -- are really and I wish you the best. -- thank you 803 on I thirty start I'm 3180616. WB EN which addiction. As most closely touched your life. And again I know people. I don't think there's a situation that has come up except that one with a guy was almost addicted to being miserable. I don't think it's a situation that I haven't previously experienced. Vicariously your personal. 540 -- news radio 930 WB -- this is an awesome show you're just joining us which addiction has most closely touched you or your family. And burdensome on the believable calls today great calls very intelligent people and I think something that were all learning. We've all got some -- And AccuWeather bad not bad today. -- as it was yesterday but the -- -- no I am not yet ready to make the public pronouncement that. Or paying to have. In my special little voice -- bring out every year with the approval. Of gay AJ might hear -- -- might here go okay he is given the authorization to use that voice. Partly cloudy tonight the overnight low 29 and that tomorrow -- be cloudy and -- a shower to the high just 43 degrees at least get some -- up the road. So others 42. -- news radio 930 WBE. And doing a show on addictions I promised you this. And I'm blown away by the response. Hey it's not a happy show. But if I just did happy I'd be African clown and -- like clowns I think clowns are evil. Let's go to love -- in buffalo on WB and hello you're on. Certain. Just -- it the other day about the subject. And one thing I wanted to say about the -- previous Google ask for an. Or is when people get. Big news. Put up big. -- big cash. Or bad news. We're getting curl her. Or girl it's a girl or boy it's a boy or whatever. Well open minded I mean a guy to get two girls the same time. It's my house or job. -- John Sherman older five -- here chaperones my house every night. Blue and saying that he -- -- that. -- -- are you through. So here right now I. And you'll do. You know -- and go negative. All of whose drugs whatever. And it hurt or. It checked out. Get it. -- only. Your -- it down in the dumps. Did you -- that thing back. I know you called the other day I'm waving my rule for you because your contents is excellent and I wanna pick up on this on the other side. Do not under estimate the value of what you are saying. Hang in there OK and I'll take other calls as well in the next hour some of these calls folks they're just too important for me given thirty seconds on WB yet.