Feb 21, 2014|
Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)
Donning right down the name Randy bush over and an end to have Randy carry it around. As you know what yesterday's that he was Chris if you are confused as he's identity has been American viewers at big -- tired. People write their name down on their own copy of -- forget it. Hi I have a lot -- times where they'll write their own name in the probably because. They can't convince themselves that they remember -- think the couple who would I forget what a vibrant now what do I am somebody else almighty god. But anyway it is a big engine company two things today. John rose. On who I -- He is a a family psychologist. And basically there's one columns as we pay we should pay attention to our children but not too much. It seemed like were over indulging them we give them too many choices. Everything we -- do we add the idea the term OK at the end of it which is not a good thing to do as so he's saying them that they should be in their proper. Their proper lineage there are always described them as them. They're adults in training. You know there entry level adults whatever but on -- now my parents I love my parents. And they -- -- -- my two sisters we have a great relationship. And I wouldn't change anything -- but let me just tell you this. Now got a choice and everything everything. If -- if we're going to visit my father's sister which we hated to do because it was boring. We certainly didn't say hey is it okay we go visit your ass off its giving him five minutes -- get -- the car. Amuse yourself. And what we get there are being bored to death but that's what it's going to be -- and get a choice I don't ever recall a choice oh win now. While we brought to you wouldn't want to eat that much but when we did. There was never choice they ordered forest even -- got -- ice Graeme. Even -- ice cream. My father never said do you want -- a Vanilla strawberry whatever ever listed all the things -- there. Or what was he never have a -- or Sunday are a milk -- he just ordered and and pass the food back and that's a way that's the way -- was. Even bow by -- calls I got a choice my mother would bring me and does she would tell the person what I wanted what we needed. I try Aman I hated them because they're -- picky. And that was closet that I got a choice -- get a choice in the collar defense what the shirt was nothing. That's the way it -- we were we were entry level adults the decisions were made for us. -- I'd miss having those choices now of course -- I was a kid I would have made different choices sometimes of course but I think arm on the whole of their choices would have been better. So we're asking our deal over indulge your children now I don't know anybody's gonna policy yes we do know. But think about it. About it c'mon maybe we can talk to. The grandmother grandfather who see their own kids spoiling the grandchildren or maybe grandma and grandpa spoilage grandchildren do. I don't see anything wrong with being in the -- is a little bit of choice if you're going to bike cool clothes. There's nothing wrong button pick out the color or. Maybe there is Captain America on. And the car over the they would on the sure that they would like that's fine. You want a select you know Vanilla or chocolate that's fine as well. But to have them totally dictate everything now. Yeah a lot of a lot of people do we have seen it is you know it's just look at Madison you know all Madison might favor. I management. You have the sun dried tomato open mean annualized. Here's the menu. And that's that's what gets him is every time is I think Mattison is actually behind a woman and her daughter Madison. And -- was reading the entire menu. Madison was a kid a child. And she was reading the entire menu to Madison while everybody else stood in line waiting for Madison to make up -- mind. Madison was -- -- mama -- said. Here's what I'm having and his Madison is having and you order for both you don't hold up the line. Like that -- now time. People think it's okay all the delighted as a child involved as it's the worst thing. Order for them okay don't don't hold up everybody else because you want to indulge your kid. Now if you think that interest thing and hope you do. Because we got something that. Was scheduled to go into effect on January 1 in California there is a lawsuit against it. But we have not heard of that lawsuit does prevail so as far as we know. This law took effect January 1. It's about making choices. You know it's one thing to have let Madison choose whether she wants chocolate -- Vanilla. It's another thing that letter choose whether she wants that this collar -- of that -- blouse or those sneakers are these sneakers but. -- And what they're doing in California now in my Madison shoes. Her -- sex. Ha you're saying -- Is -- light goes and does become like standard you're either a boy or girl no known known not in California. Because California says that they should have a choice. In -- right now we're not talking about adults adults is different things different subject for different day we're talking about children here. In this article that I have California became the first state to enact a law protecting the rights of transgender. Children. From kindergarten. Okay kindergarten is what five years ago. About five years -- Through high school. In the effects transgender kids in California they'll be allowed to decide whether they will play on boys or girls sports teams. Or whether there will -- as male or female bathrooms. So this is kindergarten. Through twelfth grade so this is all the children except pre K. There for so maybe they don't think they're ready for these kind of decisions but once your five you certainly. According to law should be element of your mind -- what -- happy with the gender that or why don't know god gave you let's figure out on out so late. So that's a question I'm. I'm asking. Should kids -- it's not about kids now be allowed to choose their gender and I want you to think about this. In any other state in the union. If and this closer twelfth so let's say let's say twelve say is an idea of somebody -- A singer and school so they're probably sixteen -- seven seniors well there. If if the boys sixteen or seventeen in the other 49 states decides I think I'll go into the ladies' room and use that. Well he'll be kicked out of school if they catch him might in the worst than that in California. They have every right to -- ad which which won the Oreo which one you're more comfortable where it's insane. That is absolutely insane but. There again the reason or bring it up here is because it's all out there and secondly what happens in California usually ends up happening here. Do you favor allowing children to choose their gender not even people who believe. That gender should be chosen. They don't believe necessarily that it should be something that a child can do. That should be. A more mature decision that was made by -- an adult. Who has a sense of reasoning not something you don't. Just happens at the moment they want thing when I was in third grade. Went to the west school had just moved to a Bloomberg Massachusetts. At recess time. All the kids would get on school. On the right have you are facing a school on the right hand side. Of the playground were all the boys as probable as one on the left hand side were all the girls got -- so far it's not hard to figure out as a guess where I'm where it almost every day amongst them. -- overtook O'Donnell's side why 'cause I like the girls better but I like the boys to me it was more fun and I liked it. But if I was in California I'd get to make some dramatic choices be combat. That's all I'm saying that. It's a little silly and a little out there to let. Hit a garden kids age five. Choose their gender. I mean. It doesn't get an eagle for -- than that I'd like your opinion on it I would be very surprised if you think it's a great idea -- who knows you might. I will be back -- would be and company listening to sandy. -- TE. Two basic questions your kids John -- says. Pay attention to them but not too much don't over indulge -- dollar make all the decisions. Don't and everything you want -- who have okay. Getting needing their permission for it to go forward. So I'm asking if you believe in that secondly should kids be allowed to choose their gender. In California law the scheduled take effect there is you a suit against its but we have not heard that they -- -- laughs oh. A -- so minutes and and progress now started January 1 says kids from can't garden which is what five years old through high school. Can choose their own gender they can choose which sports scenes on a play on. Or about that through. Can you imagine some two some high school kid a twelfth grade. Decides he wants a plan on the girls' varsity team I mean how they gonna handle that I mean this is away from me every issue of that but -- that work. That would be very difficult even -- rate now I know in hockey girls can play. With the boys and in our federation hockey which is the governor body of RS ago. Wrestling there has been girls aren't girls -- yes yes there has been. So in California. From -- kindergarten through twelfth grade they can decide which teams they want to play on as far as male and female and they can choose. Which restrooms to use. So you have a high school -- these sixteen or seventeen year old boy might decide that he feels more famine and as -- he -- ladies room. Or a lady a twelve year old girl. Arming and twelfth grade girl so she be the same -- besides I'm gonna use the men's room. And that's okay and telephone. I'm sorry I don't get it. Let's go to work and I'd like you give me examples. Think you've seen where parents are over -- over indulging their kids let's go to Anthony and buffalo and I am familiar on WB again. I seen it on. But -- potter I don't know what order I have a two year old boy. And I didn't think were outscored around the world all the idol worship and call him and I love my son good boy. You know a lot of questions but some like this you're going to be wouldn't sent from -- bit -- a school yet or ladies' restroom -- -- school so fast. -- what effort you guys do it. Oh absolutely I mean you got -- -- is a common sense on this yeah. In my son you know they're. -- him I need the money in the Betty you know. I at least -- a birdie at Mercury six figure yet I we figure he wants to go -- remarkably well might some sucks that they're based offered them. So that's what he's up against well this year that I'm -- don't own -- A look at but I like what do you think look this is the champion well -- wanted -- this sport about soccer. Good don't want him there executed you know what we like -- Plus there are some sports are a lot more expensive vendor and then if you're working to make ends -- Maybe he'd enjoy a different sport just as much. It is so with this child worship thing is we wouldn't say about your parents. Ever acted up at a restaurant. My mother would Whitney restaurant so -- yummy do -- -- how does that why do it all on. I can't imagine my father. As saying go what do you want and then giving me a choice the choices were made for me and handed to me and that's what I had to do and I didn't -- government. To -- yeah exactly and I think that's cool head and we have here we have people that want it to don't want parents. We grandparent now that are not certified program parents. And the water are under older -- current thinking or my grandmother taught the -- Annual auto either kids grow up to think -- the center of the universe they may be the center of the parents' universe but -- the center of everybody's universe may have -- learn that. -- little -- with -- college ball OK but my mother army. -- love you no matter what but I want everyone to look you sold 100 opera I wanna be probably. Good you don't think peer to get. Your mother is a wise woman thank you Anthony thank you very much oh yeah now I mean the bottom line is my parents loved me in my sister's I know that. But we can get and choices we really didn't I mean now maybe it changed by the time my sister Sandra arrived but I know my sister Beverly was three years younger than -- You could you could ask her and she would tell you that the choices were made for -- even the simple choices my mother didn't say I'm cooking dinner. Would you like this or that I don't know. I'm cooking dinner. Here is. He did OK granted I will be enjoyed it didn't want to OK next meal comes up and about eight hours from now. Maybe oh maybe be hunger for that own choices. And I don't feel like this. You -- feel like I think this was this is what was served and later -- my grandfather. Who has a I die in the -- Sicilian Angela Willis. We followed his rules. I'll vote what was served for vegetables and stuff like that we had no choice on that and we -- at 5 o'clock. Waited eight at 459 that was too early. We need a 501 that we at five. OK so we had to learn to adapt to him and elder who we love and just adored. We are willing to do whatever we had to do to make him happy and I would like to thank those days -- still here but I don't think they -- I think there it's all about the kids what the kid wants. What pleases the kid and the bottom line is not everybody appreciates your kid the way you do. All right your kid may have a lot of good things that you think about but maybe a drives other people crazy. But that's partially your fault because you're giving to whom any choices especially younger kids. Because a day they don't understand why all in everything in life they don't have the total say over and they don't so 8039301800. 6169236. Start I'm -- giving examples so did your parents pick out your -- close were you allowed to order up the man who yourself. Especially it would younger kids and what about California. From kindergarten. Which is aged five. Through the twelfth grade they can choose their own gender and choose what gender team they wanna play on choose which gender bathroom to you. Under the threat Bernie we are WB yeah. You're hearing the voice of buffalo. You DN. Call us now it only those 3009. 180616. 9236. The last commercial as -- sound like a body part a winkle hopper. He has no idea if that's. I I don't gonna hurt my we're going off doesn't dizziness usually does -- sound like. What's eyes went offers if that I'm not sure paging doctor winkle opera. Doctor kinda doctor Al. I'm going to says I shouldn't be allowed to make decisions it. -- it is. And governor -- -- -- about kids kids kids kids kids kids they're the apple and our mom and dad but they may not -- the Avalon everybody's side. But however. Why do you guys but I would really appreciate. It when I -- -- well. Behaved child I can't tell you how many times. I've gotten compromise. Table as I'm leaving if another table has a child as well we have where it was stop and say to the parents or mama -- whoever was there. You have a very well be if child. I should be proud of him or her and that means a lot the mom and dad because I'm sure that. Even though I'm a stranger I'm sure that they put a lot of work into. So that yeah if they don't just letter just goal because their kid may think everything their kid does is cute acceptable when it hasn't. On the other hand you see you know kids that are just shouldn't be left out of the house. They're like you're just discovered in -- and in some jungle a mile away I mean thousand miles away. That have no no training on on going to a restaurant or standing in line or anything like that. So it's them if it's different with -- each parent by it's important to note that. Well behaved kids are really appreciated him publicly WB deputy no we went out to dinner Saturday night. And somebody did come by intent -- on the shoulder and said your husband is very well behaved. So she was hat on that's very very nice thing about at best because he doesn't know -- -- hear that -- -- and who wouldn't come over and -- him shall and that that was me doing that even if the kids aren't what you. What you're going to them. Right well we're target about two things. About John Rosemont who has a yeah. A family psychologist and he is right on top of it he is so good it's it's ridiculous that's a good he has. And he's common sense he's rational he's loving but he understands that you got over. But he debate too much attention to your child you dote on the kid too much and then when you get the care -- all choices in life. In the things that should be decided by -- -- being decided by him or her. And it's not right and that later on in the world they find out that they're not the center of everybody's universe like they are with the -- So it's it's better to teach are made of all worldly view that. Certain matters are expected in public certain courtesies are expected you're not gonna get it through life on your good looks in the your ability to charm people. It Austria and I Israel wanted to under six was that night visits -- start and I thirty the other is about -- California law. Yes it's a long odds it's it's starting January 1 another is a suit against that I don't know where it is in the court system right now. But the law says that kids and I mean kids when that -- adults here and that's the important part. Our kids. California was the first state to enact a law. Protecting the right of transgender children. From kindergarten which is. By -- five through high school 1617 maybe gates and transgender kids in California will be allowed to decide whether they'll play -- boys or girls sports games or whether they can use the male or female. Bathrooms we're not kidding this is real I know it sounds like you can make this up because you can make you know. All right Chris when we have on FaceBook. So okay. Yes our parents are. Let's let's talk to about this aspect of the biggest mistake people make when raising their kids is by putting that little word. Federal prison is if it's actually award okay. So you say. John eligible clean -- -- -- And then a change into your clothes and brush your teeth we're going out for ice Graeme. Or we're going out for a ride in the country or we're going out to major aunt and uncle have a technical whatever and then they had okay. I'm John rose buses that's a big mistake because the host okay gives them. A forum suddenly they have the right to -- -- watch this from playing video games are in from Amman -- winner who knows what. Now be okay out of it you know what they -- on cops. They do that on cops -- but they do for different reason when -- say. We'd like to blow would like to look in your car and search for drugs okay. They say it together got permission so that is legal Solis stands but they say OK that is all right but when it it was a child that's different. Do you like that okay is -- -- -- -- -- -- OK okay how about -- OK -- real parents are -- -- -- world with Chris have a FaceBook centric ways I do have a face. We're going through this one comes from our friend rob Rossi says I love my kids which you cannot over and tells them boundaries are very important. I love my husband gives equally but my husband and I are insurers were also careful not to let our kids put us against each other. Are right and that's exactly right -- video -- he's got a got a good handle on that because I was with her when her daughter was there and she said. Would you like this delicious stuff I have a delicious hopefuls Sunday for you okay. You media know Robby and there's Robbie and her husband markets -- together they really do. Are -- right let's go to it's very and buffalo terrier on WB again. During two to the degree in children and you know. They don't as possible but we weren't there -- come to visit we make them breakfast. In their home for lunch so we're pretty confident we're all eating it take to fight in Italy they leave dependable. I'm looking for them in the -- said -- don't worry about them so compact he like this she can tell he might finish it within an hour. And the TV the world. In the food external out. All man's. And then leave the girl she's seven years old right now which even the -- I am thinking remember distinctly going there to visit. We're going to paper is their parents were out and European trip somewhere. And all we visited in -- taking offer -- leader and in the evening it was a little bit cool. Sleep center we're gonna pretty checked it and if she's got his clothes all of I mean it causes for the baby under close and I was looking for a jacket. And could throw the -- -- -- -- -- she screamed she screamed keep going until I found the break. Law that you. A man out of a big closet vote closely monitor our own way at that Internet. Negotiate. My daughter was supposedly wanted to stay at home Jesus stayed at home mom but she never called. Good -- different. It will kick it in every possible. Clash again registered. Oh yeah in soccer and theater in business. You know waiting for them they wait for my son to come home from work which is kind of -- 7 o'clock he'd. You know it doesn't go wrong and -- -- trying IE I believe the more money people I have the less. The less obedient children here. Well because that they had there are more choices one -- have more money you can go out to eat more often you can take vacations more Robin you're doing things. Yeah it's it's sad but I'm glad you as a grandparent especially see that because many times grand parents spoil the commitment. Why not perfect dog and -- -- just recently when we were including them. We're sitting at this I liked restaurant for a nice breakfast. And the little boy is this book TV in front of them right now my sister's sitting next to him and we're all. Talking conversing. -- he put he gets that put his knees and puts it all over my sister's out because she's talking. To solve so he wants his team here. Where -- All men did say that I'm glad you Soledad I'm glad to shatter whether it's because those are the kind of things we're talking about Beckett Gerri thank you very much here's another thing before the break. Okay do not ever use this as an extra deals. Because a lot of kids hate getting up in the morning they hate getting up to go to school whatever. And so they're not a bubbling personality that they might beat -- afternoon or evening right. Because they know I got there ahead of them and they got to address and get out of a warm bed and go through the -- and all that other stuff. But if your kids are road our. You know just. Not friendly not nice and in the morning don't ever tell anybody. That's because she's not a morning person well -- swat. That's -- when she goes to work her boss isn't going to care whether she's a morning person. If she goes in the service. The militaries aren't gonna care whether she's a morning person. He's going to be a person 24 hours today you don't get depicting Jews when you're a nice person and when you -- not. And that term morning person I think should be left out of the vocabulary. Will be -- although I do well. Some people who are very talented and radio ago. There are good in the morning they're not gonna -- -- show because it takes a special. Kind of focus. Two -- what you have to do and perform you have to perform at the morning like -- -- she starts brighten early sounds great. Mention of Chris wasn't a morning person says the wait til like 9 o'clock to kind of get into the groove. Can have that but I do know talent. That if I were hiring them I would put them on that day or -- or late morning or afternoon or evening but I wouldn't tomorrow morning's does not suitable for. We'll be back. -- of this after yes according to this article that I haven't from me in the problem goes on October 27. Of last year. Some say parents and educators must encourage children to be themselves. Even if that means. Allowing a six year old boy to take on a girls name and attend school dressed as a girl. Other experts warn that children would gender identity issue is often change their minds when they get older. And they advised decisions about gender change should never have been made before puberty. Some religious leaders believe that changing. One's gender is never the right thing to do. Depending. Regardless of the agent and I'm thinking that certainly. As a child that's an enormous responsibility. On feelings that may just be temporary. Maybe -- maybe it's that maybe it's a -- you have a boy -- son was getting picked somebody at a boys and and and decides that might be easier to go through life as a girl. I mean is that a good solid reason I don't think so and you can reverse the -- the gender of media sources that mention. So I'm thinking and a lot of the psychologists and doctors whatever thing that you should at least go through puberty before making decisions like that I think decisions like better. Way too important to be handled by a child. You let a child make a decision much less important than that simply because of their age. But that's the way it is in California. All right guard Chris we have some FaceBook entries please yes -- -- this one comes from sandy she says John Grossman just totally right to when he people make their kid the center of everything when I was growing up we basically just what -- our parents said we're going. Today parents -- to ask permission from their kids to do things absolutely. Right they have to get the okay on the agenda of Emanuel the trip for vacation. The kids have to approve of everything. And as sometimes the only way they can get their kids to go on vacation they take their kids friends -- -- them. I mean there's all kinds of bribes and things like their considerations. Made to get what you want and a part of that is why John says be very careful of not saying okay. After a declarative statement. If you want the kid to do something just tell them to do it and at the end don't say. Okay because it gives them a foot in the door it's as simple as that don't empower them to do that -- you appreciate them you'll lob them. And -- later on they'll be able to make their own decisions when they have kids of their own. Coke which -- and I I know you see this when all the time but sometimes you just can't come up with one when they say well why. Because I -- So I wouldn't. I -- -- -- and I said so or because I'm your father -- I haven't thought ahead because they know they're gonna say that you're so tired or something or whatever and these court you just don't get. -- time I was critiquing a disc jockey because I spent seventeen years as a program dirt drivers that hire and fire this. And I was critiquing business jockey for something that it happened on a show. And I liked it because -- I'd like to give them a lot of creative flexibility but this was this was not exactly what we want okay. So on critiquing him and he says to me I'm from line -- nine he says to me wait a minute. Wait a minute I heard you do that exact same thing. So I said -- well I may have but make no mistake about it you're assuming that I would hire myself as a disc -- don't make that assumption. -- that was the end of that discussion that was a good and you better Q so you better be ready. When when you tell -- a declarative statement to a kid and they say why. Why why why have more than one answer it's got to be multi level I tried to the wild don't use because I am your father or because I'm the boss or because I I give your paycheck. Those are bankrupt. Then that means you have no real answer. Have something ready -- -- go and some -- something. -- in your head the reason that should be done and most of the time we shouldn't have to explain it at all. It's just what I'd like you do what I like you do with what you're going to do and the story. It Chris and probably this one comes from tot he says we need to give kids insignificant choices like may -- between shot the urban violence that a huge things that way to think they're gonna make their own decisions which are secretly getting what you want. Well as you get matures between -- and rebellion of the talk shows. Next his Ryder white. -- -- over wetlands -- jobs. Exactly the heavy issues once what time what time period would you like elevenths from happening like that and other real heavy stuff but while the Smart people do -- -- Is that regardless doesn't really walk through heavy lifting the heavy lifting one's. So I don't think that you're doing your kid a favor. And your kids going to be very grateful later in life. That you don't place them at the center of your universe. Certainly there are very important news for the most important thing you have. But don't don't treat them like they know that. All right -- like the junior members of the family which they are they don't have voting stock yeah. They might lay Enron. And that when they become adults they can do that would children imagine how much fund that will be. -- -- show is that nexus of day. Ethics cinema -- is that he's okay these. Movies he's one of those movies. That under the threat and I and we -- WV.