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WBEN NewsRadio 930>Audio & Video on Demand>>1-15 Beach and Company Hour 3

1-15 Beach and Company Hour 3

Jan 15, 2014|

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

-- Macrovision governing obscenity Jarrett Rush Limbaugh. Talking about this a survey yesterday. And they knew that it was something I would be interested in doing today and so here it is. In the open university in England they did a survey with 5000 people. And they asked. About of couples with children couples without what they found were. -- the the couples without children were happier with their relationships. With their partners. And they were happier in general then people -- -- children. Now it would depend and they don't explain in details. -- hold the children were when they they were asked if these of people had the ones that Agile and -- Obviously if you have a a newborn -- a couple of years old. Totally defenseless totally unable to get along without you. It would be a different answer than a sixteen -- I -- it just would be so we don't have that. But what we do have is that they felt they were happier -- kids and when asked who was the most important person in their lives in this is very important. The mothers said their children were. They gave birth of them. And their you know it would be I think natural they would say that but the others said the women wore the wives. So it it's something that you have to take great care to keep your -- as a couple. While raising the child and not put every. Every ounce of your being into the child because when the child goes away to school or whatever gets married leaves empty nest. Then you're not gonna have anything. -- win the person that you fell in love with a man child and for the Euro there. Who think that if -- married and -- and it's not a physical thing where you physically can't have children. That you're selfish -- just say one thing to you okay you are so misguided I can't believe it then what is the difference if the only reason for a couple to be a couple of them children what is the difference then between that and a breeding -- at the Zulu. Isn't that what they send the pandas from one -- the other because they they can't read. Is that what it is an -- that's what we've been relegated to. A two and disseminate our partners and move on that's our only job. I mean I find that insulting to be honest when you're at a we try to take it from the opposite side. Everybody would be a flabbergasted. If we said the only reason people should be togethers have sex and have children. Nobody's buying that about the summaries and some people feel that way and I think it's totally misguided. As misguided as these headphones are that are cutting him now. You know nothing distraction more than this. All right look I I have to hold. The court out at this -- right there. About two and a half feet and then Dennis it was a -- -- -- -- -- -- and I know I've -- before all -- -- -- these thank you very much. All right our crest though we have several on the basement we're going used a couple of boys. This law and that comes from a Juli she says I strongly disagree childless couples don't know what they're missing if they think their love is great it's nothing compared. To the love for their kids every parent knows that I'm right now out. What are what is right for you may not be right for somebody else and that's the whole point where -- follow we're all very much anxious to spread the good word of how happy we are. And in your circumstances that's right as Greg a tour that's -- more than that. But don't assume that everybody would adapt the same way to -- showering as you do. That's the case and this -- should be an individual's choice it shouldn't be the State's choice shouldn't be the church's choice it should be your choice. And if there are some people who would love their children that can't. And there are some people who can and got the preferred until maybe. There -- they don't think of ourselves as a cable all of being a good parent I mean how many times have we heard. About a young guy usually not married to the girl. The girl is out there is certainly locally nationally the same story -- girls are working he's left in charge of the baby. The baby starts crying. He has the he has no parenting skills at all he has no maturity what does he do -- -- the baby and shakes the baby sometimes kills the baby. -- now if these people were married. Would you expect them to have children they had when they warm married okay they didn't care about convention they just decided to have a kid. -- this. This guy was no there is no more qualified to be a father than the man on the moon but. That shows that sometimes you can understand yourself as I am not -- have children. I don't know how I would deal with a crying baby crying baby for two minutes. -- crying baby for an hour crying baby over twelve hours. I may and how about knowing when -- win to calm the baby how come the baby went to bring the baby to the doctor these kinds of things. Unique skills to be a good parent it's not totally natural. It's not like the animal kingdom. There animal kingdom some as some of mama animals I know because I -- Animal Planet. Have to after key. There are babies away from the father because the father will kill them and why -- especially. So think about it summer very nurturing some aren't. Aside and goes with the the individual person is definitely not a one. Size fits -- another Chris. This is from Matthew he said childless couples. Just have materialistic happiness childless marriages have much higher divorce rates there's no commit without kids this sounds like a bogus study Umpqua hole. Whatever you say there what are you know whatever you say the bottom line is that. Not everybody's cut out to be apparent just because look guess what I can go to Sears and get a hammer and saw. That doesn't mean that I can build a house. OK I can get the saw just like the other guy the other guy knows how to build a house. Maybe I don't know how to build a house not everybody knows how to be apparent it seems like it's natural we know -- pregnant woman that's a good there's no and there's no instructional book would bat. But beyond that we don't know much about anything and there are people don't assume that because. A mother had the baby that they're All Saints how many how many women do terrible things have their own children. So it's not did not just balls on the head of the father you guys like Casey Anthony. Or how about that as soon as this -- School left their kids a backseat of the car and car seats and rolled the car into the lake. Can you in Europe and -- wildest craziest. Twisted imagination ever do that mail and news neither -- most people million in -- all people with few exceptions. So he -- know. Are you a candidate. A to be a good parent are you ready for the parental responsibilities. Because one thing nobody will argue. Nobody not a person on the planet will argue this. Once you'll have a child your life is totally changed for ever. And anybody that doesn't believe it's talk to somebody who's you know they're eighteen and a guest of merit and she's pregnant and they. And they think no I I mean I've talked to -- and I'm gonna go differently like I'm not going to childproof my house. I have these a little decorative things here -- -- modifying blasts and whatever I'm going to teach little -- low that you shouldn't touch. Go back here about a month. I don't armory everything will be off the tables everything will be above what they can reach whatever. You have to adapt that's the way it is you have to adapt. Not everybody Canada not everybody's ready to adapt and their people to be honest with you that are too damn dumb kids. The -- Matt. If nothing else -- say let's take a break evidence so back to some of the collars here this is John and South Wales John you're on WB CN. To hate. And Great Britain might call this our when he got forced John wanna run somebody that would be a little bit different will be -- children in public but the marriage okay. -- let's just say that to -- five years -- that six. And have been divorce war warriors. Are now everybody knows when you get married at the situation for the graduation goes away hopefully. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Let's just a maybe some memorable battles -- -- them. Their weight stayed home and and raised two kids. And they are out there and Boston perhaps not for beer and -- -- for beer money for the weekend but to raise their kids and in fact they. Available bleeding ulcers and sometimes. Depression because things aren't going so well done. And it's great leader. And in -- a little bit has legal battle at six children. The -- is solely focused on those children sure and raising those children and loses on. You know -- couples and the feeling right intimacy and everything goes -- As you're running -- stand for the school and coaching basketball and running your job I was sort of your business is successful. And after 47 years of marriage. Some -- -- -- -- perhaps particularly good place for a thousand dollars a month alimony. Our home perhaps so utilities paid house paid well -- is going to be really really good. And you know it's pretty devastating. To a guy and it can happen and probably that can happen it's the opposite. Of children -- stressed because the hardship of not having money and having morning it is they think is to be -- and he can influence in that way so that they don't even talk anymore. Well it's I can understand I can understand what you're saying it used to be we only thought of the other way where women would say. I worked very hard to put my ego my husband through school may be used learn to become a doctor. And then and I raise the kids by myself because he was at the hospital all the time then suddenly he takes off with the nurse that he works with. And she's left holding the bag. So this is the opposite view that John so if you have six kids and -- out there work and it takes it takes a lot of work on your part and a lot of work on her part and later I was not fair somebody else gets involved. Well don't tell you -- because at the end of the day. You know you're by yourself yet you still have someone in everything but it if if you're not really kind of materialistic person. -- you lose your family your children you know all those. Sacrificed for 55 years and I mean when I was young. But what my dad's 45 of the good long life starts but when you're 55 you think it is that what they have some good years left in my life. And I was I was never given anything I started my business. When you did or didn't have Obama it used to be a good start opening didn't have to give all your money away I believed in that and still do. And it took a lot not a lot of work it takes a lot of choices away from you if you're as -- as just UN her. And and you major job you can set your -- -- Joba Joba. But once you have kids especially at six kids suddenly you're doing things you don't wanna dual you're working twice as you know -- -- And that you're doing it for the kids and the wife and if you lose that in the end. That means you you've got to make no choices at all and you -- you didn't come on -- Soon as the -- at the Walt Disney feeling. I could go on Sunday night when I was little -- Walt Disney came aren't sure that this. Sinking feeling in my stomach regular school the next day and I hit -- I had that Walt Disney feeling -- Close to thirty years of my working life until it started my own business and finally became successful after taking a huge risk. And an hour about a quarter with a -- can I took that risk from my family. It made it work and I give it all the way from like to have my kid back and that was taken away from me. Because I did well and commentary what some women plan. And I and then your recourse is so that they can't sleep that in the late. You know blame everything on -- hard he wasn't here only good coach to ask what he did build a treat sport -- well the swing so you know. There's just an economic that the government in the states. What -- it because -- wanted to provide more spam in on it just it it hurts and it can be taken back because there is so. So and so was. I wish I had been -- I wish I shed more comforting words for you sound like a straight up guy who was. Dealing with some very difficult circumstances I wish you all the best John I wish you the best in the future thank you. While those dinosaurs are very different -- yes. -- he's he's absolutely right there are because I know somebody going -- rate now and he's got his kid is being taken away from him in this state is not fair. When it comes to separation and who's gonna get visitation in all that I. Well any time there's a break a -- marriage and kids are involved that becomes. Horrendous yes I simply because oftentimes the kids are used as collateral ping pong balls to get back at the at the other person. A yes you're supposed to have the a child at 4 o'clock this afternoon and you get there for Clark and are now he's got the sniffles again them. It's all everything goes down you know use the kids to get back at the other wrote a spouse not right it's out of their system it's not a fair system now. But because the courts will always unless the mother is horrendous. Will always -- of the mother's room because they gave birth of the child. And whether that's fair or not we can have another show on an overtime but I felt very badly for the last in the last caller who obviously -- straight up guy. Who were very very hard to do what was necessary and then at the end of the shaft and the person I know is devastated. And he's losing his son now it's it's a sad situation. Let's let's go to another FaceBook posting if we could address this is from Jackie she says I've been happily married for 22 years we have no children this was our choice what bothers me is that people with kids get defensive when discussing us not having kids -- made the right choice for me -- that's exactly right and the only wanted to make the right choice -- you is you. In neighbor can't -- -- your mother can't do it your priest can do it rabbi can't do it your minister can do it. Good person in the grocery line in front -- back he can't do -- you have to have for yourself. You have to understand that and anybody that's it's around and says -- that couple was their physically able have children but there. But they're not they're just selfish though most people are ignorant that's the only American news just ignorant. Because you would take great offense if people told you how to lead your life. And you don't let him do that and stay out of their life if there are good happy law abiding Kabul we mall. I think maturity plays such a big part of it when I was warn me I was dead set against marriage and having kids. I wanted to have fun so I did all of that -- -- -- these girls just wanna have bond due to live my prediction -- -- -- As so I mean I had it later in life so my. I wish I was mature when I had necklace and when she needed. But -- you -- knows no I just kept saying you're -- You know I'm OK so I think maturity plays a big part in in your life is how mature -- how how do you understand things. As to whether you're gonna have problems are not -- -- you know. You know divorce because of kids all that they just combines its formula. Well what we did the best we could I mean when I started and I Mets Susan. She was in college and I was not much over. A couple of years and she wanted to finish college before Merida and and and -- that in fact she graduated from college on a Saturday. The next Saturday we got married I mean that's so it -- and it was all planned out and then we also planned out that. She wanted to she's teacher so she wanted to starter teaching career I was already established radio just started and makes money. And always decided. In about five years will be ready to start the family meanwhile. We did five years exactly she got started as a teacher very successful I was doing very well on radio and we had that we had the baby. It -- fortunate enough to have those choices. Because not everybody has those choices so we kind of later on as best we can we haven't been married for 24 years I mean it was not a a you know a one shot and I are -- four and a half years before that. So the bottom line as you do the best you can't. But the last thing you need is somebody who doesn't know your circumstances. Putting their nose in telling you what's good -- -- You know like a woman government to a doesn't show it like when anybody else doesn't either and not everybody. Yeah it is equipped to be a good parent not everybody is equipped to be even an acceptable parent. So if you think you can do it and you wanna do it -- And if you don't think you can do it. Tell we others are shut the hell up because it's not their business it all three on 93018061692. Through six and star 930. My voice is going how I like that -- the goings -- They dictate to you okay. You have to all you can only buy this kind of car are exactly what I know what's best for you you should be in a Prius that's the only kind of car. He's a part in research shows that if you don't have a preacher I -- And they told you that when you get that Korea's you are responsible for -- Prius for at least 21 years. You can't do anything about that break as he got that has as -- as there's going up. In now I've got very yeah you average out because we made one. We made another taxpayer or growing -- New York State. -- You're hearing the voice of buffalo WDN. That call us now an 80309. Series cell calls are free and started 938 or toll free line is 1806169236. We're back -- of that region governor we're talking about a survey done in England. -- policy 5000 people involved in this at the open university in England 5000 people found that. The childless couples or couples without children that's what Charles means the Soledad that it'll educational experience there. Are happier than those with the children now it doesn't mean. That those with children are miserable it just means of those children in this survey at least are happier. And though the second part of this a survey which I find very interest thing. When asked who was the most important person in their lives the mothers said their children work and the father said. The women -- so you see there's a big gulf bear I can tell -- that let's go to Betty and -- -- it's a WB and I betting. I'm talking to you Betty what do you think about this survey. That goes out and vote at about oh man no boyfriend no bad. -- -- and dance. Have a good plan. Did it because I -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- As they work in and he. Had these you know. And again. That. Because he heard. Just -- me. -- have found that. You do that it it. So -- is at hand two is and that maverick who I am I ahead. Well. With Atlanta and those heating and shared it -- me. So that I could hurt him he could work and we have if she could -- an on side of the -- tired either. So that -- let them -- that they and so what I did at have a maybe it would. Yeah is and that way that the -- they go on the -- proud day. And and that would do you know we do and -- the bank did that on. So let them go literally every day. Yeah and how many kids did you end up having their betting. A lot arrived -- on it. Now when they win the second child was off to wherever they were and now you're an empty empty nest. When they got older and then they. Yell when they Alan Miller gone. Was the relationship still strung between you and your husband. Am hooked everything you -- at Indiana maybe. And and men and attitude. And that -- -- -- that that would expand a bit at that we want him anymore. How hard is that they're raising children it's if you've got to have patience you've gotta you gotta have the wisdom of of the gods I mean is not an easy job as a. Now. It it and it. Well on our. Everyday well I'm on the bank in the outage. Well I'm glad I'm graduate devoted having kids and and used you were still a couple when they left the the house so yeah that's a happy ending. That would drag -- that -- had you ever want to and the bank has always looked up and did the -- can go Whitney. Alright -- because you yeah all right well thank you Betty thank you very much. Definitely. It would. Maybe that is due and I think it was I would need. They love their mom -- you know. Would ever growth of our kids. There's always like a favorite place a favorite house they go to when the kids get together I -- yours was that Betty thank you thank you very much. Yeah I remember that Tony there -- you're growing up. And year -- a circle of have a dozen people whatever but you always ended up that one kid's house. Because their parents were cool and you can have fun and whatever preview. Yeah I was my next door. We try to grab -- always gravitated to their porch and therefore boy ease -- For some reason in your map because apparently just in the way we're where -- was located on the street pretty much in the senator it was just great place frost to. Well we -- a couple of places one was. Our friends who had a nice driveway and nice a nice smooth driver with a -- And if we didn't play basketball at the church early giveaway. We would go there and play basketball and then we would play poker. A lot of times that at my house. And and then that was fun to -- you have your place where you feel comfortable he gravitate toward the kids all like to go there. We're asking about -- are you happier without kids and one of them and was the most important person in your life. Now we're not saying it's a 100% 0%. We're saying that. A lot of of people remain as a couple even though they have children. And they were they focus on the fact that they are Koppel on the can be better parents if they are double some. Once they start having children. The children use they they suck up all the oxygen in the Rome. All of your plans are made around the kids -- menu selections around the kids where you go past that that they kids. It used to be not that long ago. -- back when I was a kid well it was a while back but we get a lot of choices as a -- We went to Wear my mother and father is ever going we hate to my mother and Brothers Edward and me that's all stood if we went to the ice and start. We -- lucky if my follow -- chose the flavor. It or he would just bring back a column for me in my system that was that. And so they made those decisions. Forest now of course he or in back go vote Madison at an -- Where mrs. Madison the mother of Madison. And medicines like seven. Will describe the entire -- is menu to Madison while she makes menu selections. While that's 45 people lined up behind her so I think it's it's gone too far or the other way. You know on -- about. I would've liked to have had a few choices in my life as do. Whether I had to go and visit my idea my aunt Eleanor or not but I didn't -- or I was was the go a -- oil was but now. Now it's a democracy. Now if you look at any restaurant where a family comes in with kids first of -- I'll tell you this. You're lucky if the kids don't have. A cellphone or some kind of electronic device. -- if they go they're not even going to be part of a conversation. And are going to be -- looking at mom and dad but if they don't they're going to be the center of attention. All of the focus will be on the kids -- being no grown up conversation. Plain and simple as just the way it works so you got a choice you can have all kids all the time or no kids any time because they're busy will -- -- electronic devices and that's. Up to know what you like but keep I keep your eyes open a restaurant that's Ireland these things endlessly. That I'm saying that the choice idea has gone way too far we let them pick out everything. They're kids pick out something formerly. We'll be back after this. Happier without kids that's what the survey says out of an English university. And I'd like to know if you buy that or not and the most important person in your life in the same survey. The men said their wives were but the wives said the kids war. As an -- think things are discussed because we've had shows before -- what do you do when you become an empty nest. All of your focus all of your effort every bit of your -- you're being was -- in the kids and now they're off. The college the service -- to have their own families and and that they don't live at home anymore and that other person your partner. Your husband your wife is still there but. The magic that was there before seems to have been depleted. You spent too much on the kids and not enough on the couples. In so you don't have one -- a lot of them drift away a lot of them get to get divorced. And I'd like to get your opinion on that Chris a couple more postings -- from FaceBook. This is from Daniel he says with kids the highs are higher but the lows are lower kids cause stress and sometimes drive a wedge between couples. Need to adapt and work hard to stay connected to your sponsor they have kids. Yeah they -- know and they give -- the ultimate get out of jail free card anything you don't want to do you complain -- kids. Whether it's you know a little of friendly sexual activity with the with the spouse or whether it's going to a neighborhoods. -- -- odor you don't travelling what kind of vacation. You can't take what kind of vacation you have to take money of course is always. As is always an interesting perspective because kids -- as expensive. And embers are the different theories of raising a kid. First of all I'm thinking 11 thing is that is an absolute deal breaker if viewing your wife do not or your wife debate do not agree. Before you get married. As to whether you want children are not and must both of you were on the same page that's very very that's huge red flag. If you want children he does and he wants children you don't. Maybe you should find another partner because I don't think it's very often that they change remind them that okay. So that's that's the thing and work it together the stronger the partnership. You when your partner the stronger your for your parenting skills -- in -- Chris. This is from jail she says I think this study the results of an. Children before their marriage your marriage should not ours are revolve around your kids the mayor to be the priority otherwise there's no family. That's exactly right you don't is that John Rosemont. You know much I love John rose Mans theory on child ordering. He's always said that in fact I Edward and -- me because it wasn't specific to what we're talking about today. But it wasn't that long ago they had by now Rosemont column. Was listened to the kids but not too much. Another words you get my little flexibility. And you let them pick out something hero there but they don't dictate your life. And that's important it used to be that the kids were at the ticket table. Card table for a reason. Grown up conversation is here besides the fact consider everybody sent several what. Yeah -- grown up conversation was here grown up activity was here this is for kids. They see the kids that the card table at the adult table now. And Asia and Europe Russia and there are adults in training they're learning to be at cults they are not adults -- opinions are not equal to your opinions. The -- that people recoil in horror. Why it. Madison's choice of the sun -- to make opening is not. To my. I'll come bond and the -- full -- -- events are light Wednesday. Thank god that one day I was actually behind Madison because that doesn't give me a lot of material over the years. Let's go to Paul and so on applaud -- run WV yen. TI I -- and -- -- late here in. You know but the kids first. Certainly love my kids anymore like it better with the kids but it ended up being a divorce exits and the meeting that. And year. Now with a great moment in. And -- want my favorite sports my kids now because well you know I was great like -- traditional all right and stayed home. Cook the meals and I'll let you know -- that we have a lot of choices dinner with dinner now in Egypt. Adam and you confront it's one of the things like it's my seven year old few weeks ago. So now now we actually sit down to call -- field and. And my girlfriend now launched -- corrupt and provide that -- and that was something my acts like an aggregate but. My -- at communicating what's for dinner. And I said that's what's for dinner I looked like that that are actually -- that this dinner and while we eat and it turned out the baby food. They never otherwise. Things that they never would have thought they like they and a -- -- my 408 when reading perhaps. It or any problem. Has just been a lot better unfortunately it and it's about that divorced and it. Let me see -- You know we had kids of my ex wife we put them first -- -- -- that now. You know hopefully this sneakers to wait some time to count on what -- why can't you look and think and I deeply enough. I would put up after him and now the outage and. Yet I think you know -- you sneakers tomorrow you talk like better not -- electronic you're -- or -- it's going to be going away in. And we do it. Why don't you learn some lessons you learned some lessons from that divorce and that's good day you don't wanna go through something that dramatic about learning summit I think I think the kids appreciate that I think this is going to sound -- -- a lot of people but I think kids want certain choices made for them. When you because you're in a better position to understand the impact of those choices so you're apparent act like a parent and I'm glad it's you're doing that now Paul thank you. I was able just one of the magnanimous. We want you to make your own choices. If you're hot about -- the limit. In California. And I don't have it was because I definitely wasn't planning to do this. They are now. -- children make a decision. On their own sex. -- Yes and facto one of the laws passed in California and now says that if Johnny feels that. Isn't really Johnny by JoAnne. Johnny can use the female restroom. I'm not making this stuff up. Embed a there's one set of parents in California and it only happening you know point into that right now. -- decided it was too intrusive. To a burning their kid we have one sexual choice that being whatever sex they were born as. That they should make up their own minds and they were raising them. Not as boys and not as -- there was just raising them as children. And letting them decide as they got older whether they wanted to be a boy or are now that screwed up. I don't care how. Modern U Lar don't care how edgy you are I don't care or you come from Mars that's group that's abuse -- CIA really is it truly is. I mean there are certain things that later on as you're an adult if you think -- -- in the wrong -- make a choice as an adult but as a child. Now that is in the way it works of the -- that's what goes on in California but that's the over. Emphasis on. -- letting them grow and nurture on their own they were given to you by god I think most people will buy that. Or you to raise not for them to raise themselves. You know there weren't raised by a colony of wolves that are raised by human beings so you make some choices for them hopefully he'll make the choices that are in the best interest. And some people do most people -- some people bill. And so what I'm saying is it's nice to be modern. It's nice to give your kid little leeway. But not too much and as John -- column said. Listen to your kids. Not so much I love that Chris and other another. Please -- please this is from -- she says to each their own -- happiness all that matter some people might want kids others are perfectly fine without them why is that so hard for some people understand. I'm what do you Aaron I think that's exactly right some people should have kids a lot on some give people shouldn't have kids who don't want them. What's the sense in trying to put. Pressure on people who want equipped either emotionally physically psychologically. Whatever to have kids. Because you think it's right for them. That's not your call it is and and I'm sorry it is not your call it's not anybody's call but but the people involved nabors bought out. Family blot out churches shouldn't get involved that you know I mean it's got to be an individual decision and then you'll be a better parent and the kids will be. Will be fine it'll be great to be a great blessing but only if you choose -- you know badgered into. Okay that about wraps it would be aging governor we'll see you tomorrow morning at nine under Israeli and I'm thirty WB. The -- much they never into music these.

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