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WBEN NewsRadio 930>Audio & Video on Demand>>11-12 Tom Bauerle Show Hour 3

11-12 Tom Bauerle Show Hour 3

Nov 12, 2013|

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

All right I camp Olivia -- -- this has struck in the show I believe it would be an F sharp actually. But that arguably the court this is struck with silly people's seat. Now we we start out actually the adjusters and it's. Topic excuse me. The Genesis of the topic. Was the -- in case. Am. Sick and tired of people going after Mary tightly in any because I kind of view her as one of the victims of this case and not some. Evil malevolent. Woman who set up mark Reid to be killed by her husband. In fact I would make the argument bad. By mr. Hadley and these behavior. Misses terribly and -- it seems. There was well within reason. To have grave concerns. About her husband. Well why didn't she file for divorce. Well. In the real world. And this goes for both men and women by the way. In the real world -- men have been known and women have been known to make all kinds of threats. If you try to divorce me. I will do blank. Now I don't know. I don't know. If. Any of those threats were made. In this case. I don't know. But. It wouldn't surprise. But I think mister Tagliabue -- interestingly enough is the best character witness for merit tightly and because he is the guy. He's the guy who drove hundreds of miles. To kill. He is estranged wife's. Lover. Mean that's shows I think. In a really. Specific way why mrs. deadly and -- made it very well have had doubts about her husband's. Ability to be a good husband. Or maybe even own safety. So I'm not gonna sit -- and get on the -- tightly and Eddie is more bad way. I'm not gonna do that. I don't know the war. Biblically here otherwise. But I do know what tightly that it was accused -- and convicted of what. And if he was willing to do that god knows what it was. Again I don't know but I'm just supposing. Or assuming if you offer. But if our guy as well drive hundreds of miles to do what he did. I'm sure he made out of the easiest person to be around as they -- Just -- it stands to reason. Others a couple of other things that I wanna get into and a one of them is something that I touched upon. On Friday when we're doing the show from mighty taco. You know I was thinking about this the other day. That these social media sites and the Internet. Have made extra marital appears so much easier than they used to be. So much. Of folks that's your toting the Internet for this. But. The old days if you want to add some strange. You know kind of had that working. Maybe they -- somebody at the office now that's dangerous maybe there's somebody at the watering hole your frequent. Asleep that's dangerous to Kazaa can be really close -- hole. Maybe there was a personal -- you can place -- risky. In the old days try to hook up for an affair even though it happened. What's up best friend's wife. Was not exactly easy. What's up brother's wife. Own but anyway it wasn't exactly easy but with the onset of the Internet about. FaceBook. I wonder how many people have hooked up. On FaceBook. I would definitely estimate billions. Millions. Twitter and not so sure about I don't even like Twitter Chelsea sends up all my tweets. I I'm not a big Twitter I don't read incoming messages to Twitter. I don't care about Twitter only do -- have to do it for work. Otherwise. On the FaceBook guide because I cannot condense my life in just a few characters. -- to explain. So. It is so much easier now. -- all the chat rooms. With all of the web site to mean not just FaceBook but. There are a million different web sites appear if you are inclined to want some strange where the man or woman whether you're looking for another man. Whether your check looking for another check whether your check looking for a couple -- your -- -- -- for me human and it and they are out here. Sharks sharks -- Craig's list. -- feel older with all kinds of ads. What's the other one. Life is too short and they're well ash Ashley Madison Ashley Madison. There are sites I mean really. You name your free you name your king and you'll find a website devoted to other people who shear your predilection. Well I mean there's a lot of lot of people who have different tastes shall we say in that came out rather awkwardly. But it's so much easier now to hook up because of the Internet. It really gets. IE. It's just it's astonishing. Astonishing. I don't young man who isn't mayor. He's not mayor nor is he -- a serious relationship. And let me simply say that. I am astonished. By the number of requests -- receive news. Four. Certain activities but he rather physical and grunting nature. It's amazing to -- Now with that in mind. With that as the backdrop. Let me. Let me. Read a letter that I wrote that I -- but I wrote that I read also on Friday because it fits into what we've been talking about today. I am one of your and this is this is the one that I carry in my bag my sack. My very false back actually which I need to empty out. And Friday October 72011. Tom I'm one of your regular listeners. And I don't record you're doing a show on the topic. But I'm begging you to do. Emotional affairs. Online affairs cyber sex and sexting. I know you can combine all of these into one show. I recently discovered by husband of 22 years was involved in this stuff. Devastated me. We had an amazing marriage always doing things together great sex life best friends this blind sided me. If he she could be involved in that without my knowledge. Anyone could be. We're currently working with a counselor to try to save ourselves. Could you please do we show on this I need to hear from others who have been through. Various. I'm not a beggar but I am begging. All right folks. Have given truth -- Mean have you busted your spouse online -- your girlfriend or boyfriend on line. Doing this kind of stuff. And you know for all the talk about Anthony Weiner. There is so much of that going on. I wouldn't even know where to begin. To calculate how much. Now Joseph some people especially in our demographic think that I just exaggerating. And making it up. Because I -- a free thinking -- team. And I'm not asking you to agree with me just because I can fire you at any moment. But do you agree with me that it is so all common. As to be. It's so commonplace. That it's hardly even news yeah you're you're you're vigorously. Agreeing with me. -- that's all I needed to know notice that a -- asked Chelsea. Because I do not believe in exposing myself -- any potential lawsuit and plus like nothing -- Chelsea his daughter anyway. -- my second daughter to say she knows that. Does that well okay it's okay -- up like little sister to is does that make you feel more comfortable little sister. Okay little sister -- Chelsea you know I look at her she kind of walks on water. Joseph you do not walk on water absolutely not. But but I love you anyway. There are other things but I. Topics by the way the phone number is 8030930. 8030930. Start on thirty on the cell phone 180616. WBZ. It's user. Let me share with you an email that. I'll play this up and this could have been written by any number at this actually is an email it's from the act Caroline acts column. A wanna share with you. One of the best written descriptions. A woman who is horribly. Confused. By what is going on in her life. And when I say that most of the people like no war Mary. Are not exactly the seriously and deliciously. With marriage. This is the kind of situation about which I'm speaking. Dear Carolyn. Been married 26 years. To children in college. We've had a lot of major ups and downs. My husband had an affair eleven years ago that through my world off it's axis. Without looking for it during one of our very down cycles. I had an affair five years ago. I ended it and tried to focus everything on my marriage. But. I'm not happy. My husband deep down is a -- And seems content to leave the relationship in what I see as its natural state. Two people. Living in the same house. Getting along. Taking care of database stuff. I care about him but I don't love him. Although I believe he loves me. I have resumed. My relationship. With the other man. I'm tired of fighting. I don't want to miss out on this kind of look. I want to be with the other man. But I know the pain I would cause my family. I'm so torn apart by various. And I'm having increasingly more meltdowns. Were I sob. Until there's nothing left. I don't know how to give myself permission to be happy. When it comes at the expense. Of people I care about. And Caroline -- responded clearly. This is complicated. But there's a simple answer stop seeing the other man. Your star I'd get it. And you believe you found sustenance but the cost of seizing it -- still living the life of your marriage is too high. Otherwise you'd be able to stop cry -- say I disagree. -- Caroline acts. Total. This woman needs to make herself happy. She is miserable in her marriage. And -- not the kids are in college they're little kids walk around and diapers there in college they are adults. Clearly they've got to be able to grasp the idea. Bet mom and dad did not exactly have a happy marriage and mum needs to make herself happy my opinion. But what do -- ago. I was married for. I was married for 48. Months. Already let's get back to the calls on WB ENN and the seaweed and welcome aboard who would be next it would be Maxine in East Aurora Maxine hello. -- My -- you got to turn your radio off. Yeah remember all right will put you on hold there and go we'll give back two years Bob in wheat field on WB and hello. Now there are the mine now practice that law and specifically matrimonial law. And he claimed that the Internet has made a Milwaukee man. Wouldn't surprise me. Oh yeah but I let the hate gay at all it just the course just vomit rampant that. He had Internet -- -- -- -- But you know what it tells me that tells me that before the Internet and all the social media came along. A lot of people were living besides. They are going through -- -- with their marriage they weren't happy. Well I think everybody now and then spurt at the idea that he dabbling in it the -- -- it doesn't just it makes -- to -- beat. On site -- Look up old friend so Orton -- -- But you know what if somebody is the -- I I could not disagree with you more nobody and a happy marriage that's. Think about it. Yeah yeah there has never been a happy marriage and didn't condemn or answer. Through. So alone anyway your friend. Assuming -- the only assuming it was perfect which we know none are. You know what not even -- we're not even talking about perfection here we're talking about two people who. Genuinely. Get along I would say 9596%. Of the time and those times they disagree they do so in a civil way and there are still turned on by each other and I guess we might call them soul mates. Yeah. I think you -- just. You know the thought of what if we don't what what -- -- ban also poured salt on old old planes that would air the. Yeah you know I like -- -- I like to look up old flames just to see help after they've gotten. -- but that idea yeah I really do because you know I mean I keep getting better and better looking every day and they just get better and better readers so it makes me feel very good. They won more than I was wondering if you have a program at some point in time of -- -- aspects of gambling in the B -- A negative effects or in part to the effect it's had on some of the Stanley here in Western New York. -- probably not. Not I'd do thank you for calling. It's it's just not I don't know just not my thing it's like any other addiction I mean if -- do we show on gambling it would be part of -- show on addiction. Gambling is what it's a problem it's an addiction. Just like alcoholism. I know it's a disease or -- gambling. A disease. Drug drug abuse prescription drugs. Cocaine. Met me all these things are. Addictive. Behaviors. And maybe attempts to self Medicaid or induce an artificial state of happiness because something is missing in your life. Rule that was deep 645 at WBE and more calls coming up 803 all 930. -- a couple. Program. The host country music bed to a lot of the songs sound alike I -- that's always been the argument about country music in the old school country music but. Against even whip the modern stuff. I don't know I -- -- on a I read that you are I mean I read that without the racism. As there. Well that's often -- seven and four for racism is a redneck. Racist. 630 for a WB yet already. We need are talking about you. And your thoughts on marriage and I have to -- The -- last. With the attorney friend who goes matrimonial law. It would surprise me hugely at all vet. The social media excuse me folks are still dealing with the tail end of the that's the only thing that everybody seems to have. I was talking with a physician's wife over the weekend and she told me that everybody her family even had a two and it's like persistent I mean it's just like oh my gosh is not major but please go away. Ever built so much in my life. I could share them if you like that would be wrong. All right -- go to Nicole and not a one on WB Ian -- you are on the radio with mr. hourly hello. Hate. I am I get one of those rare. Women that has a fantastic match. -- -- -- My has been the candidate said that he. Could not be happening and I feel the same way but that beat then is because both of us truly feel happiness as a chilly. I -- that in any given situation that you -- and you may get flooded it. And it's you know be it that he then there are ten plus years like we can or. You know -- heat it got married. -- Well you know. I believe in life in general I subscribe to that theory because you can't control what happens in your life you can't control how you trim the sales on a -- trim the -- characteristics of an airplane but when you're dealing with somebody else that adds another dynamic to it. And if somebody make you absolutely miserable. I don't think that that is a choice and you can't smile while he's punching me in the face. Well I mean -- I think it's a situation in which there's -- -- -- I mean that says I don't think -- that's in the realm. What marriage it. Well no I mean I'm I'm just using an absurd. And it absurd example. But I I do as far as choosing to be happy is you've got a great foundation absolutely. I didn't leave it recently went through my head not his job. They know 200 and apparently and do -- -- clinging to each other cute little who. Brought forward together -- back together. Is how we got through that. And I. I would hope that people regardless of their situation and how -- -- team. Like the woman that you're reading this story from and she does -- -- should. They -- their husband or go on with this next man I think it tears. Because. That I seen in my opinion is. Not to walk away from the commitment is made. Attention to work and make it what it should be where you're asked. An app pool that that's. Longing of what I should do and how to person now. It difficult. It it more difficult to pursue and put others first. Like I couldn't disagree more this is a woman who's put others first her entire life getting your kids out of diapers and through school. And I think it's time for her to enjoy her life. She's not happy with this guy it's obvious she's in love with the other man she's not happy where she is you don't get a do over in life. And her husband is going through the motions she is going through the motions what's important. Because I had it. Cuba. Is not an emotion. True. It felt -- and shooting. A lot. And little emotion not reality. You can know one thing I can have a perception of what something is happening. And not really be -- It. And in the next moment I can shoot well not overreacted. I was rational it was a typical woman reaction. We would not Nicole I'm glad -- married because we would not make a good couple. Tell you that we would definitely not make you good couple because I think I think you have to have emotion with love I mean -- mean. I don't know I don't mean that bit about it apps that. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- But without logic. It. Without a direction without a compass. For what -- motion should be. Did you give out personal look at the play it whenever it's whatever cloture vote today whatever caption you're right today is where you end up biting off. Yeah okay you know -- you're its interest -- because I think that a part of love news. If you can have fun it. Going to wegmans. Which so if you gonna have fun it just walking through Wal-Mart with somebody. And you can actually turn that and define that I think that's part love. It I mean. But I I think emotion is -- of logic is a part of it. Nicole do you find that you and your husband a complement. Each other I mean you're not compliment like you look -- no you look great I mean complement each other. Absolutely. I find that both that and our weakness and week if he would strengthen each other. And there -- many times in which I can just totally. -- blow -- situations and he. Can pick it up and put the pieces together and he's the rock. And let others time that. I him more about in this situation and there's that had been flow between both of us. And it's realizing that can happen altogether. I am. They wanted -- he now can do despite myself I need him. And then. Other great you know Nicole and I must tell you that a man ask roughly how old you guys are. I -- I met -- Well I gotta tell it sounds like both -- view are -- blast and both of you hit pay dirt with each other. Seriously I mean you both found a yet 24 carat rock solid nugget wing about a million pounds. And that's half the battle in life right there you've found the person you are supposed to -- Now I have a question -- askew. And I don't mean to be the guy raining on the parade that. But now I'm just saying did you happening here by email before that and caring in my very very full work bag for two years. About Diaz. Cyber sexing and all that stuff. Have we ever encountered any patent. Not no no no no don't don't don't jump ahead on me but this is from a woman who had a marriage just as you'd describe yours until she found out. After over twenty years of marriage -- believed. I got 22 years of marriage. That her husband was actually engaging in on the line stuff. And it devastated -- and which she said is if he could be involved in that without my knowledge. Anyone could be when you hear that does it make you freak out just a little bit. No because I wanted to I think my husband told me over when they first got married was that. If they let me into the pit and they each investor can make everyday when we wake up. Beach police to remove that covenant that the promise without me made it that -- -- It's that moment occurred. I think it you know in the Internet age. Finger. Easily accessible as you were saying before. But it's actually that it is anything else -- -- -- -- and noticed that you know -- stopping you in the and then still aren't watching everything getting you know walk away. -- -- -- -- -- Eight home. Also Nicole and I I. I definitely hear what you say and at and I appreciate what -- -- and I again I just happened to say you guys to sound like just awesome people I mean I love you and your husband totally because it just sounds like you have truly found the right match each of -- And this this is gonna be personal but is that your natural. Your natural state and his natural state to have one. If I could please managed to have one of lover won a man and for him to have one lover and one woman is that the natural thing because some people are born that way and some people are definitely airborne with the taste for strange. I am not again I would get I would say that would definitely be our natural inclinations. One wanted. One for life. But even and that. -- Because I -- or eight. Have any nation -- has he is the most loyal individually ever meet. And -- am not -- there there is. There a moment that it is hot and it'd just. You mean it's it's tough for you to resist when some guy gets. In neck and have them. Argument -- -- I -- hitting on me. And make. And and I think that he doesn't -- Wouldn't notice that I've seen and he did is oblivious to it which it and me. -- he'll eat. At the moment -- quote from it it's one of my favorites and he's talking about there at that moment that they the difference between spring training and the -- is doing. Well it's wonderful. And as hard moments as. -- as. The laborious -- that really -- line if you look at that percent or you -- way. Well the call I must tell you you have been there call of the day. It has been an absolute delight speaking with you and you -- soul. Let's -- CS Lewis I have to use the word last you are so blessed in your lives and basically you've got 90%. Of your happiness covered because you found the guy with whom you are supposed to be. And it's just it's a nice hearing from somebody in their mid thirties in your situation who is genuinely. Happily married. Unfortunately my dear I don't know this is your case but I know a lot of people Eurasian my age you are going through the motions. So I guess you won't be going to Jamaica with me. Let your husband. All right hey look I'm I'm glad you I'm so glad -- -- that I mean that you in the call of the day and I wish you guys nothing. But nothing but the best thank you so much. Sir it's not. About you -- Tom. Article thank you call of the day right there that made this whole show worthwhile. And I know people call it really. I know people like the coal. Fred and Julian Browning they've got that kind of marriage. Pat and Janice and owns the other they've got that kind of marriage. My brother my sister they've got that kind of marriage. Some of my friends have that kind of marriage. And I gotta tell you that those people are the exceptions in my life a lot of people are going through the motions. And -- we disagree on the woman who wrote to Caroline hacks. Because. My take on life is you don't get a do over. You don't get a do over. And I've been dead as you may know three times clinically dead and I didn't see Jesus. Actually I did see Jesus joke and he says you -- huge. And that's -- other saving your outline for awhile but now all I thought was this sense of incredible piece and you know -- us I guess I would call I didn't see any bright light I didn't see my relatives beckoning me to the other side. I just just total peace and relaxation. So it kind of added to my feeling in my sense that you get one shot at life. And you deserve to be happy. And the woman in the Caroline -- apiece to me. Dear woman I mean grow its. You and your husband clearly. Unhappy with each other. Mean let it go and choose to be happy but I'm awfully happy to hear about Nicole and her being happier marriage. Seriously it all just -- choose the right person and knowing yourself. And its hourly how fast is -- go on holy Toledo. I've driven through Toledo by the way there's nothing only about it here is bill in buffalo on WB and hello -- I ain't getting any just aren't they won't remember my area. I am mr. Lutz told me she does it mean it would only treat their wives. The way they treated them when -- first went out you know be raining in eagle in the car door for your girlfriend. And then after they got married it would be -- that the trial but ultimately what it's really an -- side. It's it's sometimes we. We get ourselves in the situation -- of action and out. The other thing you know we we got to remember is you know things change slight change here -- sickness and in -- whatever but. We -- should keep in mind that we should kind of maintain ourselves. To -- that hurt them. They met when they first went up don't election they'll turn into a lot. Don't just you know black pop culture -- that I'm Mary -- I think just. Built on respect for each other. That is you know what sir Phil. Phil I wish you would have called sooner because. I have to tell you what you were saying is the honest to god truth. And I have to tell you I think I don't think that most guys anymore. Know how to act like a gentleman I always. Opened doors for women. I always. Packed card doors doors into restaurants I always pull out cheers and restaurants. If the woman if -- gets up to leave to go to the powder -- I will always stand up. And then. Out of respect when she stands up in them which is coming back to the table stand up when she's coming back to the table helper whether -- Guy is do not appreciate the fine points of being a gentleman. -- I don't know on. What happened. And I always try to rip the big one before I get into the car. Although there's sometimes is that trail which is a bit annoying. Check the tires you know. Yeah oh yeah. And apparently it's higher up there yeah. Sounds like connect about a yard of calico written are. Sir I wish -- I wish you would call early you know what there's a show right here being a gentleman being a gentleman. Thanks for all the calls -- I don't even know what to say it was a great show today and it's going to be more than mediocre tomorrow I promise -- thanks to Joseph -- And that's the Chelsea -- in the ordinary job today. And I will leave you with my two favorite words. No one. Yourself.

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