Nov 21, 2015|
Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)
It's time for buffalo means business with money Shula. On news radio 930 WP ENN brought to you by the law office of around Fleury go on your side and in your court doctor Michael Nazareth buffalo skin doctor in Western New York dermatology. Window world simply the best for last Jamestown mattress south transit road block port. Great Lakes real estate dot com and the Amherst chamber of commerce to health insurance resource for small business now buffalo radio veteran and local business and to get bloody Shula. Hair. That's right we're back to news radio 930 WB and for buffalo means business by names but he sure it's pleasure to have you here. In the show we got a particularly important show. And a very important topic we're gonna talk about the greater buffalo means business. Here at WB yen in that he is. The whole. Process that comes with the holidays. Maybe you're grieving someone. Maybe needs some support a we're going to be talking a lot today about. Hope after heart ache. And that's finding support through the Catholic cemeteries. In now ways of grieving and things of that nature. We're gonna talk to Carmen clay you know who's the director of the Catholic cemeteries. In also Nancy Wilde who's the director of grief support. At the Catholic cemeteries as well so would first like to well welcome current to the show who's been on before so I welcome current lawful means business. Thank you buddy thank you for having me so let me let me ask you this Carmen why is something like this the Catholic cemeteries year. Ian now buffalo offer a great grief support system. It and why why is that important. You know body have been and in doing this for over 25 years and you know obviously when people think of cemeteries and think of the obvious and now but what I've come to find. In the last several years and I'm so grateful now that we have Nancy while with us and who has been with the snow for the last six years. You know I've always said that cemeteries are for the living and everything we do or for those have been those those survivors that are left behind and you know we do an array of things are Hammond doing we've we've had masses in a number of different services that we've had for families. But now. Especially so in the last several years we've really branched out and expanded into offering these expensive bereavement programs and their net. Your run of the mill type programs and maybe people would think of when they first hear of this and I think. Your listeners today are going to get quite an education and really get a better understanding of what we're doing here. And if you want more information you can always called the Catholic cemeteries phone number 8736500. That's 8736500. You can also find them on the Internet at buffalo Catholic cemeteries. Dot org so with that worlds are gonna welcome Nancy while. The director of grief support walked into the show thanks for having fun in Iowa and added it to its time to be and that makes so much sense as we get through the holidays server you know. Get through Thanksgiving coming up. And then Christmas and and then the new year I mean is this time that really people need jurors support. And that what you offer with the Catholic cemeteries and more than ever. Absolutely absolutely the one thing I tell. When people come to our groups and it's a holiday time is I can make them to promises. The first promises January 2 will rise and you'll have made it through the holidays. The second promise I make them is we're going to do this together. You don't go through it alone. I think the biggest thing I tell people as you don't have to grieve alone. And there's something really special that happens when a group comes together. To support one another through understanding. And support. And in this type of program is available through the Catholic cemeteries. Talk a little bit about the overall. Support current program that you offer their. We found one of the most comprehensive support programs of any funeral home or cemetery in this country. And we're really proud of what we offer. We have the traditional grief support. Groups and we meet both the Cheektowaga group as well as one in ten more were open to anyone in the community or rule is if your heart hurts come to us. We're here for anyone. Two com and be apart of it at any point in the grieving process I just had someone who came and her loved one died three and a half years ago when she caught she said. I'm still really struggling tonight com I said. Absolutely. Please come. But beyond the traditional grief support group we also have what we call Western New York outings. And we might go we just were at the north kind of wanna carousel factory and having a tour and going on carousel and then going out together for a meal. We have a potluck dinners we have. All kinds of different events and programs we've had drum circles we had a choir we find different ways to get together. In order to. Get to know each other sometimes on a different level and as one person said to me once. You don't know what it means. Not to eat dinner home alone one more night. Thank you for having us here for this event when we've had a dinner. What what can people expect her to buckle support group like fat. That you run and you run that raise revenue. I do and it's so important to make clear what it is and what it isn't people really. Have this thought that they're going to come everybody's gonna tell their very sad story. Everybody's gonna cry. And then we're gonna leaf. That's not what we do we laugh as much as we cry we honor where ever people are act. And yet what we also do was write teach tore walls for coping with the loss. So when they leave they have some coping mechanisms and tools that maybe they didn't have when they came and that night. So what always make sure it may be toward guest speaker that comes and me through. B to my own knowledge but we always make sure we focus on the schools and on the coping. So someone might mention that it's a one year anniversary coming up. And we might share with each other will what did you do on the one year anniversary what did you do and we share to gather coping skills and strategies. Lots of things that I teach them as well for these tools as you know I know some some people's just to read this a weird should be a happy time of season he just drag it. They really do not know they can get through ordered out. And with the support of somebody like. You like the Catholic cemeteries. Giving this kind of support I mean I would think it makes it a lot easier Nancy while director pre support. At the Catholic cemeteries also Carmen Coolio here who's the director of the Catholic cemeteries. Give an example of similar types of tools people can use to feel better now maybe they just simply cannot wait. Another minute they are grieving his second and the need to feel better. Absolutely so one of the easiest ones is green. And he was alive and breathing but if we grieve differently. In this and different breathing techniques that can actually calm us down. One of the ones like teach that I lob because it's so effective as I call the on breath. When someone is grieving we often signed you'll hear them to sort of this heavy. But with the odd greatly exaggerated and we breathe in and as we actually don't. And what that does is it helps to open and relax because we can client shot you know one more stress. And we also use that sounds weak acts helpfully which allows us then to inhale fully and it brings us back to a place of call. It's such a simple thing and yet if we don't know that we can do that. We don't realize it's there we can just smile I teach people to put a straw between your teeth and don't let their lips touch so it mimics a smile. If you hold that we're just might feel for three minutes even if it's not a genuine smile. Your brain registers the muscles in the face and says I'm smiling and it won't release chemicals to drop the cortisol and straps. It will up this serotonin that make you feel better. So you don't have to feel good to feel better. You can use the body's physiology to trick the brain to release chemicals so weakened feel better now. And this is stuff that you teach in the support groups politics of that nature why what are people grieve what do you think it is that they are grieving about. Other than other than the advisors may be missing somebody. Or knowing that there that person may not be there be different and anymore. Is that really what it's about I mean is. You know why do people grieve the way he do instead of looking at it a different way. Well I think the entire process is so normal and natural. And our society does not do well in teaching people the rituals of round grief and loss. If you think Barack you know even a hundred years people were laid out. Right in the home and children were around it we were exposed to it was a part of life. It's been a bit now separated and it's something that you get maybe three day bereavement leave and oh are you back yet it's one year are you better yet and yet the heart has no calendar. The heart only knows it misses. Those that they laugh so we come together in a way to say it's all day. To still mr. love one. But the goal in the name of what we do is to help you. To create will be caught that new normal how we had Johnston now what life is how we bring meaning and purpose back into our life. How do we rained a lot wine into what we do going forward. I always say to my group. Grief is not a process of leaving them behind it the process of bringing them forward with us in everything we are and everything we do. They truly now. As it pertains to the Catholic cemeteries. You know obviously this is something that not everybody does but it you have devoted quite a bit. To it about with the grieving process so this is something. Pretty much kind of exclusively. That the Catholic cemeteries to us in this kind of way why did you feel it was so important. That you you institute discount program a couple of years ago. You know I just think in the course of doing what we do. It just became very habeas I mean our our staff are famous service counselors that meet with families. You know one as you nobody has value show before and we've talked about. Important supreme playing that that that we've that we try to promote so that hopefully families obviously dealing at a very difficult time in their lives. It doesn't make it any easier but at least at the time. Of a loss knowing that they Ernie made those arrangements ahead of time at least makes it a little easier at that time when they're going through this. But it was it was because of that though in in looking and listening to what our counselors were telling us and and the families that they were. That they were meeting in the end that ended the parity in this sadness that was there. It just it was obvious to to me. That this was something that we really needed to look at and you know when I across the country because we belong to a national organization of Catholic cemeteries diocese cross country. Canada and even Australia. This is something we've been talking about for a long time but there hasn't been a lot of movement in that area but we've had this discussion. And it just became obvious that this was something that we needed to do and it's really taken off and I think his. As you can see from listening to what to Nancy. Her enthusiasm and sincerity that she heard feels so strongly about this program which is I think that in itself the people that she's meeting in touching. They're seeing the sincerity that she brings an end and that in itself I think breeds success of this program. I think it's absolutely wonderful and again you can now. He would see the dedication that the Catholic cemeteries. Takes for all of especially as we approach you know it's time of the year. While grieving can be you know very you know elevated. So we are here with Carmen pulling out director of Catholic cemeteries. Also Nancy while. Who's the director of grief support a Catholic cemeteries you can call them for more information. At 8736500. That's 8736500. Or go to the website at buffalo Catholic cemeteries. Dot org you can get information on the grief support programs on grief support packet an ulcer free booklets a brief explanation of grief. All of epic calling again 8736500. So we will be back with segment number two of buffalo means business. Right after this Sunday's read united thirty WB EN. We are back to buffalo means business on news radio 930 WB EN mining is what he Shula thank you very much. For joining us for the show that happens every Saturday at 6 PM here at WB yen. And as we get into the holiday season. Our grief can be something that a lot of people have a lot of trouble dealing with and rightfully so but the Catholic cemeteries is here to help you with debt. I'm not only are you you know maybe pre planning you're cemetery needs but the Catholic cemeteries goes one step further. They offer this grief support like no other and we're here to talk about that for the full show today with Carmen callais O director of the Catholic cemeteries. In Nancy wild director of grief support. You know Nancy when the holidays are not so happy you know on and a lot of cases people on the holidays celebrating everything but some people are now. The best strategies to prepare yourself for this upcoming season when the holidays. Are not so happy watt. If you think about it it's you know Merry Christmas and happy new year and you may not be feeling that. And it almost makes you feel like how the white cope and make it through and I just hibernate and come out in January from my home. Really homer preparing for the holidays especially when your grieving like a teacher my grief support group. My own rule for grieving that you have permission agreed however you want as long as it's not illegal are harmful. If it's harmful to yourself. We need to look at that and maybe get too into some counseling however there are no decorating cleese has sharpened your torrenting did you put up the trio the lights up it to send out the cards. You'll catch him manager way through the holidays in what I overweight is in order to cope and make it through but. There are a lot of ways that you can't bring your loved ones and I say plural because it's not just the current lost if you think back over from the time you're little. All of the holidays that you bring the Stanley to gather how many people are no longer. At that table. And sell out as many people that we've had to let go that are no longer sitting around at Thanksgiving around our table. When we gather for the holidays. So what what are some of the things that people can do other than you know gain to call you which I would highly recommend. An 8736500. The buffalo Catholic cemeteries but what can what can they do right now what are some of the best strategies in your years of of dealing with this and being the grief counselor. What can people what actions indicate. Is about sapped. Debt you only can do what you can do grief this truly physically exhausting emotionally exhausting. It is mentally exhausting it Texas on every level you may not be able to do everything you've done in years past. Let people know that ask for help. I can't hold Thanksgiving at my house this year can we go to your home can I come over their. Make sure you asked people around you for the help and the support that you need to go through. You can bring your loved ones into the traditions whether it's a special ornament that you put on your tree. You know we say that it's Turkey for Thanksgiving while if you're not once favorite meal is lasagna there's no role. Make their favorite recipe of lasagna and even better if you have grand children bring them in or your children into the making of that recipe. And bring up that person's memory. And bring them in a celebration speak their names tell the stories talk about them. They live on through Austin stories that we talent. Traditions leaky. He he told me what time off the year you said something about maybe. Taking the video or taking a picture of presently what's going then timely expert on talked to me about that about. I think the very best gift you can give this holiday season. Is the gift of the stories of the family. And now it's so easy even on everybody's cell phone there's a video there's an audio recorder. Interview people especially one of the only gathers together. At this time of year do an interview talked to people find out the stories. We remember back about two generations maybe it's our grandparents. Know a little bit about a great grandparent usually not as much. We record those stories it's what we call right that gash between the gates. When you come out and you see our monuments nears the birth date and there's the death they. It's that gash. What was their favorite flavor of ice cream what they get in trouble for when they were little kids how did you and grandma and grandpa how did you meet each other. Bikinis in her. Hughes talked to them share those stories. That is the treasure that nobody else can give. And it's truly the best gift there's also free pamphlet that people can get you know during units specifically talks about the holidays for him. Yeah I wrote a pamphlet called. I'm handling the holidays when the holidays are not so happy. And it talks about waste too involved. And remember. Those who have passed. To bring them into that holiday celebration and how to cope during the holidays and we make this available to anyone who calls me mail it out to them. As well as we have other information on area grief support programs. Our own programs and and were always there for families to help them. We're here with Nancy while director of grief support. At the act Catholic cemeteries in current player who is the director of the Catholic cemeteries karma in this desire for you you do have. Couple special dates coming up in December. To talk about right. Yes but he actually we've been doing this for a number of years in. This December on Sunday December 6 and it's always the first Sunday in December. We have our candlelight remembrance service and we hold those. And both mound now that in holy cross cemetery is not relevant cemetery is in Ken more. And holy cross cemeteries and Michael Weiner in the back trap of the well a beautiful basilica. And now those services begin at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. They have to grow and they have proven to be quite popular. It brings their families together and what makes this so special it's that a man's main assets of remembrance service. And what's really special as we inflate the families to bring. And ornament that they can place and the Christmas tree that we hit an all term counseling and spent specially in this. This day and this afternoon after the service is done it's such a poignant time the actually placed you ornament on the tree in remembrance of loved one. So that it's it's been a wonderful service for us. And then and again something we've been doing for probably the better part of about 25 years. We have after Christmas we hold our Christmas masses. This year. And there are four of them are held at mount Albert and holy cross cemeteries and also gate of heaven cemetery in Lewiston. And holy sepulchre cemetery Cheektowaga. Those masses are on Monday and Tuesday December 28 and December 29 to begin at 5:30 PM. And you can actually get that information on their website we have our newsletter. It's published an error a web site and has been mailed out to thousands of families so. The information is there but again it's December 28 at mount now that gators haven't cemeteries in December 29. At holy cross and only set with her cemeteries in all masses begin at 5:30 PM. I think this is just so awesome that the Catholic cemeteries are really devote this much. Two going above and beyond. With you know this effort should do to help with grief. A people because it really is you know Carmen you've set a pick for you know he is mrs. you know cemeteries and things are for the living. Right there for those I really think that that just says it all right there. It is that there's just again now. The programs that we've been doing for a number of years and now the programs at the Nancy has brought forward here in his expanded and is just doing that he's just doing that very. That very thing in and again. Everybody that visits are families as it visits or cemeteries. No they see the visible signs of our faith in the belief in the resurrection and everything we're doing here is just a stopping point we're we're we're providing. A venue for families to remember their loved ones in in a good way and at some point we know there were going to be together again and that's that's just the best way to do it. Nancy what's the protocol if someone wants to call you this holiday season. What is the fastest way. You know for someone who's really desperate. Two handled their grieving and it it's the Stanley your what is the best way for them to get old you was it possible to get a hold of you quickly. Sure they can just call the cemetery if it's a date and I'm not there they know how to reach me. And I call families back obviously if it's someone in in deep dire trouble they should always call crisis services. But I also have a list of area grief therapist who specialize in field of grief that I can send to people as well. And so oftentimes like fine when people are. In that space of just going a little overwhelmed just I'm making that call. Taking action knowing that there's a group coming up that they're going to be wits to other people can start to feel a little bit more reassured that at least they're doing something. To start to feel better and so I do take calls from people to try to get them to the right resources. And get the numbers 8736500. You are the director grief support at the cemeteries in the diocese of buffalo. But it's incredible he read your biography is well. And you have certifications as old laughter leaders say you lead in the last year ranked. Certainly what does it mean now so I certified about. Thirteen years ago to be laughter leader and we use therapeutic laughter or laughing for no reason and we use it to improve our health. And reduce our stress and feel amazing. And also. Is similar things and here late Q some of the things you spoke about her nationally known speaker and Q I travel the country speaking. I speak to all types of groups companies hospices nurses social workers. Com senior groups I speak across the country teaching people how to stress laugh and laugh more. And of course as well teaching them about coping strategies when when your grieving. And it's a wonderful way to reach out in a way across the country. To spread this message I caught my ministry of commerce. Because life truly. Has joyous moments within it even amongst the tears and I know we're going to be getting into the at a tournament yet today TO. Again feel free calling its seed 8736500. Where north Carmen Calero director of the Catholic cemeteries and Nancy wild director of the grief support. Again you can get that information and the grief support programs by calling or going online about well Catholic cemeteries that or. I you can either agree support package you can join one of the groups. This season. Also free booklets free you'll brief you know explanation. Of grief and you know everything you'd want to know about the support programs that are offered. By the Catholic cemeteries. We will be back in there we're gonna talk a little bit about the laughter. And things of that nature as we get to segment number three coming up. Next on news radio 930 W the yen and yes we are back this is buffalo means business my name is buddy Shula. We do the show every Saturday at 6 PM. Here on WB yen today talking with the Catholic cemeteries and their just jump up and be an effort now how people and how they sport people. Dealing with grief. This time of the year his style of the Euro obviously can be very very painful. For some people and the Catholic cemeteries that are are up to do something about it so if you have. Our grief that you are going through right now this is the perfect show to be listening to. We era Nancy while director of briefs supporting Carmichael Leo who's the director of the Catholic cemetery current. Others question few who would we talk about the Catholic cemeteries what cemeteries are talking about. And skiing but he we actually are cemeteries are located throughout wolf Erie and Niagara counties. Our administrative remain offices in my house that cemetery witches and 4000 only avenue in Ken more. And holy cross cemetery as I mentioned before because of our remembrance service they're located. And ridge road and lack wanna. And I also mentioned gate of heaven cemetery there in Riverdale road in the town of Lewiston. And then holy sepulcher cemetery. I'm Harlem road in Cheektowaga but in addition to those we have opposite almost. A newer cemetery for us. Is in the town of black port which is queen of heaven cemetery in its antenna on a creek road. And the Niagara county side when you have ten electric grow because there're several times when a creek roses I've come to find out but we have in his are. Is our newest cemetery it's a very pretty cemetery very much in a rural setting. And were beginning to reach out to those families that are the and the Erie county nagger county border in in the areas of Pendleton and gets fill in Clarence and Clarence center. So that they've very much is growing into its own. And we also have assumption cemetery angry and island. No physical office there but still beautiful cemetery nonetheless that could service the needs of those folks and Grand Island order actually in Erie county as well. And now we most recently within the last few years. Are now managing. For saint Chang Canty parish we are managing seeded Albert cemetery. Nation they have to physical cemeteries the bigger one no. Broadway road in Lancaster and the original cemetery and dale road in Cheektowaga. Tell us one more time let's recap the candlelight remembrance services a trip coming up in December. And advances in cancer again those the candlelight remembrance services are the first Sunday in December which would be Sunday December 6. Those begin at 2 PM at both smiled at holy cross cemeteries. And then our Christmas masses which take place on Monday December 28 in mount morality and Peter haven't cemeteries. And Tuesday December 29. At holy cross signal except workers and tears and again those begin at 530 in the so laughter in the face of tears as we had talked to Nancy here a little bit. There are health benefits of smiling. And laughing I am the only real. They made me think laughter is the best medicine and the more I have studied it the more I am convinced it is true and people's faith in me. How can you ask them greeting to laugh and I say when you feel the least like laughing as when you need to the most. And when you begin to understand what happens physiologically what we laugh. You will be convinced. So some of the things that happen. Is it boosts our immune system. And we know especially as are coming into the winter months people are starting to get colds and different things and it we actually boost the immune system when we laughed. We also breathe deeply we spoke earlier about briefing when we laughed were really clearing out the lungs and reading deeply and they find a few are upper respiratory illnesses. If you laughed rate currently. It helps us with memory retention we begin to use whole brain thinking so the left and the right type of rain both begin to work together. And we begin to actually be able to have a better memory recall which for people or grieving note that. It feels like our arrange shuts down and we just can't remember things we've lived with post it notes. Re about to laughter help us with memory recall it helps to reduce her levels of stress. Helps elevate the emotions. It's amazing how just. Meet begins and it's contagious. Laughter is contagious let's start an epidemic. It truly does speak into the ring together as we lap. When we get together and say in their grief support group if you feel like laughing you feel like crying cry the amazing thing I found in research. As when you laugh so hard at that here is running on your face from happening. And you grieve and those tears running down facing greet those tears have different chemical composition. He's your body knows how to release the stress it's under. Actually those skiers are different. It's amazing body now as we just listened to a so it's just as important as we remember outlines an especially and it isn't he tells stories of holiday gatherings in the past. I laugh at a store every. He makes Atlanta as well. It's very easy. We don't eat everything in our house or you'd use the air after or laughing for no reason. 84 fake laughter and brain does not completely differentiate between an off an. An 88. So when you feel like laughing yeah you just use sound after the and we just spoke about will be keen to take hole with your body. Yes that authorities say that because you know somebody just sits around a table at proceeding many are now on some details such as. Start laughing the other people left there and then you know you got ten people left and no one knows that the eleven about apps and that's the fun of. It's the social bond it's wired. To bring us together. It truly is an amazing thing that we have available to us whenever we need it but what I find is like teach people what I call the HP away. The humor plan of action. Do you have one of the OSHA ID and natural what does that you're gonna happen when. An QA humor can't action is where I people begin to list of things. That get them to laugh so might be a favorite television situation comedy might be favorite movie maybe a book that they love to read. By a humorous like Iran bomb back. It might be just watching a movies it's so funny that no matter how many times they watch it gets them to laugh again. On YouTube is a wonderful source to go on by an archive and just a minute to me this makes amazing and so. As we became decreed this humor action and listed what happens is when we are hitting. A stressful time we don't feel like laughing and it may not be because were grieving the loss of a loved one at the holidays let's be honest a lot of people listening out there. Are just getting very stressed and pressured from the holidays we can look at this list and say I can take a little humor break right now. Two more three minutes for a little humor brake a little laughter. And it's amazing it's lovely day. That it's so simple were you resistant current. Now I mean it's amazing because we're sitting here in the studio and if she laughed I mean we just couldn't help but themselves either laughed or smiled a big smile so you know it is it's very infectious. It. It really does change our attitude. And when when we run laughter programs. We begin defined it as we come together. And we used therapeutic laughter exercises and I have to tell you I used to run a laughter club at the cemetery I'd like to start that again. And I'm hoping we can get enough people interest it's I hope people a single can't say sign me up I wanna come for your laughter club which is therapeutic after exercises. We walk around like paying wins laughing we do different activities and we laughed. And you leave you feel so good because here's what laughter does and I think this is the most healing. Part of laughter. It brings us into the present moment of now. Agreed to a process of looking backwards and regret looking forward and fear anxiety the old place we feel better we are in the present moment of now. When your laughing. You're not thinking about anything else just there. That's great and an analog and how he had this plan of action. Because really you know like one of things ace went about as like a big clown with that but right now it's hunky gets boring you know honking the nose. The Eagles all along. You know I mean. They used. Makes me laugh. An amazing thing I started when I speak you know on laughter. And I will talk about the pound nose because that's how he cannot Wear clown nose and be anxious or angry it's impossible. You'd just feel silly being mad when you're wearing nose. So I started with that is where we get these. And I started something called pound nose for Hawes. And for two dollar donation. All the money collected goes to a local charity and we have raised. Thousands of dollars for charities. Just through these clown noses it's amazing what happens when you put one on. And that's up laugh right now. That is thinking about. It's amazing you don't. I'm not crying right now you are you there because I am crying and so it doesn't feel good. He assumes active app links you'll play and that's priests that we are wired to be happy. We really and truly are that's when people are anxious or angry or grieving it just doesn't feel right. So this is this this is about finding joy again it's there's about an emphasis on some simple stuff. Hardest thing we average them. I gotta say what you said. Just war doesn't mean. And it's incredible. It's 8736500. Is a phone number. Again 8736500. We are talking to Nancy while who's the director of grief support. And would you say the clown Knowles. A nose for Todd now Rick. I carried him in my car I have we only cemetery probably on the planet. That gets cases of clown noses delivered dozens and dozens clown noses get delivered to our office and they called that I make that noise don't they don't they're foam but are wonderful and and we use them. To create good in the world man amazing something so simple I. I kidnap believe you're earth theory just worked on me. And I'm pretty moment seriously you know look at my quick and nobody nobody she and this. Does this clown nose. She had a presentation to an order of nuns and she sent back pictures to me. And to see these non enjoying themselves wearing these clowns noses. Was was amazing actually amazing and just worked permission. To have fun again. I'm every corner and I got to tell you that I've. The number is 8736500. 8736500. Here at Nancy while director of grief support. At the Catholic cemeteries. And Carmen taleo great friend of buffalo means business here in the show lead director. At the Catholic cemeteries please make sure to call. If there's something you're gonna be grieving about this holiday season these are the folks you wanna talk to they go wade be and planning you know and grave sites and stuff like that this is really something and many other people can do. Grief support packet insurers are free booklet. And information and the grief support programs welfare important 8736500. Will be back with our last segment segment number four. I'm news radio 930 W the yen welcome back to new Israeli at 930 WBE and for buffalo means business segment number four I've never laughed so much as I have during his sideshow that started off funny. You know on a real you know tender subject of grieving. But we've come rounds full circle here to the celebrating in and the laughter we're here with side Nancy while. Who is director of grief support at the Catholic cemeteries Carmen Cleo. Director of the Catholic cemeteries. Economists question is is for you being the director of the Catholic cemeteries. I'm sure it brings in in Hampshire with senior thought presses because. You know of your role at the cemeteries. That you have a unique perspective. On how to live each day because you probably do see so much in terms of grieving right. Which is maybe why why this program again when you you focus so much of a separate program. You know I don't teal as directly as an as a number of my staff to him a matter on the front lines so to speak but. I have is we have seen over the years in and as I said earlier in this program. The need is just. Naturally developed where we saw the need to extend what you know what we've been doing in. You know I've received many think is cemeteries and you know we talk about the habeas and burying our our beloved. Oh loved ones and you know I can truly sit here and tell you that our staff is very very much dedicated. And in what we do truly it's it's more than a jab it's a ministry and and we're here to service our families and and and so before these programs to be began. Into where they are now. We we still for all of these years and I've been very fortunate myself in the twenty for publishers have been doing this. There I've had very dedicated staff are our office staff and famous can't take the office. Are always treated very very well way you can't I can't tell you how many times I get cards from families that. Are so thankful for the service that they got weather was dealing with her office staff directly our family service counselors or even our. Our our guys that are on the grounds in and taking care there they're actually doing. You know the burial services in the things that you have to do to meticulously maintained they hundreds of acres that we have. And everybody takes their jabs very seriously. And her famous comic can take with everybody in May be somebody who's tending to a grave that needs to be you know raised somewhat. And questions that are asked of them and and to a person. They're always treat they always treat our families with the utmost respect and it's so gratifying for me. When I hear our families come back whether it's in person to Telus or whether they write. They take the time to write meet. A personal note to tell me specifically of these situations they came across and how they were help and one of our staff so this is something that's been an ongoing thing for us. If it comes very naturally and now again just like everything else now we're taking it to another level certainly Nancy's programs. We started a program talked about that tools for the tough times and which could use for you know the season that is filled in some cases in which grief. And it comes back here to segment number four as we talk about living your legacy Nancy brought up something to me off the year that I felt was incredible. That I never thought of before they were you column obituary moments. I do. You cannot work in this field. I cannot be changed by the experience. And what I have found is that you value every moment people say enemy. You know all you're never had a bad day do you Nancy and I'm like now because I know the value of the day I know there's no guarantee of tomorrow. I may have you know a bad moment or two but I use the tools we've already spoken about in some other ones as well to reverse or Abra appealing to a better feeling place. But beyond that it also changes the way you approach life. And I coined a phrase caught obituary moments and when I did that is the first time I walked the marathon. I train for half marathon house for the stroke association my grandfather had. In in a nursing home from stroke and has really impacted my life of how. That really can devastated family and I walked in train for half marathon. And when I went out there actually walked to the full marathon and how well let's see how I can walk and I listened to the stories when I was out there with people what brought them there. And when I crossed that finish line. My first thought was well that's obituary moment and what I meant was some day when they write up. My obituary in there will be completed two marathons I did another one after that I hoped India three or four by the time they write my obituary. But no those moments. That we think. We're gonna write about that someday it might be you wrote a book that might be just some small accomplishment. And that that you know someday will be recorded as people in your family and in your lives think about you know those are bitch were in moments and that's what we live for. Think you know living your legacy essentially you're living your legacy or. We talked to before and I think it did. Should be repeated at me you know people look at a gravestone that they look at these something at a monument. And they look at that dash between the dates you don't nineteen know 12. You know 2015. That dash is so important when when it comes to living your legacy. It dances every thing it's how we live our life who are weak. You know I I remember. I've interviewed all of my grandparents my parents have all of those stories recorded. And one of the questions my grandmother. Lived to a hundred in nine years old. And I should say young she shrewdly. Was so much on it was always say yes to life was always out where people work. She loves people and imagine a putter nine years it's a lot of lofts. And yet she always found that way back to July and she taught that to me an important interviews I sat. You know Graham what's the most important thing I should now. And she said you only have your good name. And that's my name as well. You always live to make that proud with in the family. And that really instilled in me at a young age that it concept of integrity and pride. Now remember that because I've recorded it I have a recording my other grandmother who was from Germany. And. I have her singing a German lullaby that she sang to my mother when she was just a baby. Poorly yet you can't replace that. Who wouldn't what do you think is not being done enough in this society. You know right now you people take life for granted do you think we don't have enough fun. It's teacher who said people are too serious tend to end up in serious condition and people who are two critical tendon in critical condition. We have forgotten how to half fine. We think we're having fun but we're really not in the what kind of find find is playing without a purpose. And then they color in the clay and they do things that are so much fun and half from a place their soul and don't. Think you don't have to have children over in order to play. There are so many opportunities. For us to truly celebrate. The day. And laugh from a place deepen our soul to find that joy. That's what's really important. Is is I think. People say to me you know people look at what's the meaning of life this is deep philosophical question what's the meaning of life I'm gonna tell you right now an answer that. Spending time with people you laugh. That's the most important thing we can do. I noted I mean I would agree with that is obvious is is it seems. I don't think people. Think about it at eight you know they did that statistic that one is too laid. We get busy all meet up with you next week goalie out he vehicle. Some time. And when we don't Herman and arguably it's I'm not talking about the bearish I think you know people. Have been coming to cemeteries in in the most of our families many of our families feel that much closer to their families. When they are at the cemetery in a dare she is is means he indicated I mean. That little dash is is your lights. And you know as a tap in for another show because it it's that packed going to be. Appropriate here or maybe the wrong word burden cremation today. You know we're very much for disposal society and unfortunately cremation. In many cases were these families are numbering in the crew meter remains to the cemetery. You know where is that legacy where is that gash where people come to remember their loved ones and you know again that's something for for perhaps another show but that there she is so important and I think that's what's been so important. For our cemeteries because there are some of the people that finds solace in coming. There to be closer to loved ones into remembered that. Right which you account again comes back to bringing joy to someone. You know when they are thinking about them when they're feeling like close to them again and remembering them so really is all about that dash. Here really has this been a very fun. Amazing show who wanted to ask Nancy for people who couldn't may be listening who this has resonated with. In terms you know a very difficult season. That is coming up. You know Nancy has a phone number to reach her at and that phone number is 8736500. You can now see it on line a couple Catholic cemeteries debt or appoint somebody calls you what is the next step at that point what when you talk to a person. About I mean is it a phone conversation deuce to be CU. It's generally starts with a phone call. And I talked to them about the situation and we begin to decide what is the best services for them. And I can send and then that information and help them to connect. With the services that they might need whether it's a grief support group whether it's a private therapy has some might be vote. So we begin to look at why is it that they most need and how can we help them because when and where grieving we have no energy to look for this information. And I would even say that those listing that may be a part of an organization that want copies. Of our information pamphlets to give Al. Maybe two employees are two members we email it over to them so they always have these resource is our community is amazing. Western New York has so many services to help the REIT. And most people are not even aware of it. So I I like to be able to bring that and spread that out to as many people as we can so people now Hugh don't have to grieve alone. There is a lot of help. Available. Again worth repeating 8736500. To the Catholic cemeteries. Buffalo is that is edit Cameron is an Erie county has kept his cemeteries just. Kept the cemeteries of the diocese of buffalo I mean we we stretch across a counties but. Our centers located primarily in Irian anger counties chairman it's always nice to have you on the show one of Rebecca sometime next year or before Easter. Buddy wanna thank you very much in I really I'm thankful for the opportunity here for forgiving as this entire. Segment for what we're doing here I'm glad we're able to tell our story and I hope your listeners have have picked up on some things they weren't aware of and hopefully if it helps. Some people out there than was all worth it and Nancy and attack you having a I've never laughed this much at buffalo means visage that's. You really really incredible and I encourage anybody. To give you a call for sure especially with the season upon this year 8736500. Or what's your email address somebody wants it in the only direct. Email me at NW EIL. At buffalo diocese dot org. And again you can get your grief support package. The explanation of creep information at support programs and things of that nature. As well we have to me and social media there on FaceBook Catholic cemeteries. Buffalo thank you both for coming on the show today and someone achy body and have a great Christmas and a happy new years. We will be back wit. Buffalo means business next week 6 o'clock right here on news radio 930 WB EN. You've been listening to buffalo means business with my buddies Shula on news radio 930 WB EN. Brunch you by the law office of Ralph Marino on your side. And in your court. Doctor Michael Nazareth Buffalo's skin doctor and Western New York dermatology. Window world simply the best for Alaska Jamestown mattress south transit road block port. Great Lakes real estate dot com. And the Amherst chamber of commerce health insurance resource for small business. Be listening for another edition of buffalo means business every Saturday at 6 PM only on news radio 930. Years. You can.